Posted by Amanda Marcotte May 14, 2008 in Uncategorized
Via. Most of these that get passed around the internet strike me as hoaxes, but sabotabby got this one from an APA publication that seems to have vetted it for authenticity. Unfortunately, this only seems to be one page, so it’s hard to really get a good idea of your score. I don’t wear red nail polish and my seams are never crooked, but I think that’s probably not going to help me much because of the issues regarding church and children.
61 Responses to “What kind of 30s housewife are you?”
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I scored a -3. However, I like to think that my merits are quite a bit stronger when measured by 2008 standards.
I think I rate a positive score (not a positive wife, just mathematically above zero) simply because about half of the demerits concern obsolete fashion technicalities. I don’t wear ragged dresses or aprons around the house, never had issues with crooked seams on my stockings, and don’t go to bed with curlers or face cream. That said, Teh 30’s Patriarch would find my yoga sweats and grubby vintage t-shirts, avoidance of hose, and lack of hair and skin care regimens revolting.
Also, can I just say that contrary to the whole rest of the piece, I find ‘avoid going to bed angry’ to actually be good advice. If I’m arguing with someone, I try to make up before going to sleep. Regardless of my relationship to the person. Holding grudges = pointless and annoying.
Unless of course it’s something really bad, like for instance they wear red nail polish. That’s unacceptable, sorry.
I got a -11. Of course, I’m also an unmarried guy, so I wasn’t likely to be much of a housewife anyway.
I couldn’t help but notice that it’s considered a good thing for a woman to take herself and her kids to church, but lets her hubby sleep in on Sundays.
I didn’t know Cosmo hired PhDs/MDs in the 1930s…
I also note that there is no negative scale on that interpretation chart.
“
This got cut off because I used a lower-than symbol:
“Lower than 0: contact the FBI immediatly. There’s a Red living undercover posing as your wife.”
DEMERIT
John Dillinger’s outlaw demeanor excites you.
MERIT
You know Ovaltine is a delicious part of every morning’s breakfast.
Somebody get ph.d M.D for that???
lol
ps. yay boing-boing. I love that site. always find the weirdest stuff online.
DEMERIT
Al Jolson’s swinging hips and darkened complexion excites you.
MERIT
You listen to the Jack Benny Program for a consistent source of humor, entertainment, and spiritual enlightenment.
Thanks for pointing out this was a multi-page survey. I added up all the points possible on the merit side and came out at “failure,” so I thought at first that would be what your post would be about. Whew!
I once had the task of sorting through a neighbor’s papers after he died, as his daughter had very poor vision and wanted to make sure she didn’t throw away anything valuable by mistake. The neighbor had been a psychology professor and practicing psychologist, and he had kept case files from his more interesting cases, as well as completed tests such as the example you give in your post. I didn’t even open the case files, once I knew what they were, but I did read a couple of the completed tests that didn’t have names on them. It was very interesting to see the evolution of the types of questions asked over the years. I think the ones from the 1950s were probably the most judgmental and persnickety. IIRC, the husband’s questionnaire that matches the one in your post had things on it such as: Comes home to dinner at a regular time; Bathes and shaves daily; Keeps shoes shined; Pays an adequate allowance; Pays bills on time.
you can read the entire booklet here: (somebody scan the entire thing)
http://www.boingboing.net/2008/05/13/1939-marital-rating.html#comments
there is husband chart too
flickr.com/photos/tiabla/sets/72157605047200616/
Hey, I think I got a score of +3! Whoo-hoo! I rule!
Apparently my never going to bed angry, conversational skills, and good sense of humor managed to tip the scales against my slovenly housekeeping and feet-warming. And I do actually ask my husband’s opinions before important purchases and/or decisions. Not because He’s The Man and is in charge, but because he’s a sensible guy and I trust his judgement.
At least flirting with other people in front of your mate and being suspicious and jealous get more demerits than crooked seams.
I am a lousy housewife (0). But at least I only wear clean dresses, damn it.
What they are basing this on, just in case any of you had doubts of the scientific validity of the tests.
It’s for the husband test.
Did anyone else notice that the highest point value on the test is a 20 point merit on the husband’s test for “Ardent lover - sees that wife has orgasm in marital congress”.
I’m just sayin’…
I feel I must be a bad feminist. I ended up with +13, although I took credit for being religious even though I don’t have kids to bring. However, I do fail to darn socks.
Strangely, the point my eye was immediately drawn to was “puts her cold feet on husband at night to warm them”… were I married and inclined to use such a ranking system, this would certainly be a merit. It’s odd the things one comes to fetishize.
I took the entire test over at flickr. While I got a -1 on the first page, I got a +41 overall, leaving me a poor 1930’s wife.
I did notice that, bocksbeutel, though it’s possible for a woman with 4 kids to get 20 points (5 points per kid for “having children”).
What I found fascinating when comparing the mens’ and womens’ tests was how much of the mens’ test was actually applicable to a reasonable mondern relationship.
I have been known to sew on a button, though not regularly. Attempts by my husband to institute Tuesdays as Weekly Button Sewing and Sock Darning Day have failed.
Playing the trombone makes me a better housewife! W00t!
Is “personally puts the children to bed” as opposed to “lets the nanny do it?”
Of course, I’m the one who plops the kid in bed here, so we’re doomed.
I’ll never catch me a man at this rate.
On the demerit side: Slow in coming to bed, because I had to finish my daily raid on the kaliri nests for my Shatari Skyguard rep, but it’s okay because John was farming in Netherstorm. I haven’t sewed a button on something in about five years. I have yet to darn a sock. I wear black nail polish on occasion or silvery blue, but not red, so who knows how that shakes out. The seams in my hose are….wait a sec, what hose? I absolutely put my cold feet on John to warm them up. I am a front seat driver actually–I drive more than John does.
On the merits side: I try to be a good hostess, but usually I don’t let friends come over unless the bathroom and kitchen are clean. John cooks more than I do. I am not musical, although I took the clarinet for three months in elementary school. Who dresses for breakfast? (Actually, I guess I do, because brekkie is usually yogurt and granola at my desk at work, and there seems to be this thing about wearing clothes to work.) Neat housekeeper? Hahahahahaha! Oh that’s a good one. *wipes a tear from her eye* Tell me another. I personally turn off the pet fish’s lamp at night….I guess that should count. I don’t usually go to bed angry, and John and I usually discuss major purchases. Good sense of humour? I THINK so but somehow I think Dr. Crane PhD & MD would differ, particularly on the subjects of farts and murlocs. Religious? I’m a secular Zen Buddhist, of course, I’m unwomanly and a poor marital prospect. Lets husband sleep in? Well, yeah, more time on the Mario Kart for me.
My (male) partner gets a better score on this than I do. Is that bad?
They were allowed to put ‘orgasm’ in print in that era?
DEMIRT: You support Fatty Arbuckle in his futile attempts to clear his name.
MERIT: In spite of the previously-mentioned event, you still enjoy the fresh, wholesome taste of Coca-Cola.
Whereas “Reacts with pleasure and delight to marital congress” is only worth 10 points for wives,
The scale is weird. If I have a good sense of humour, that counts for exactly as much as wearing red nail polish?
I’ve been playing GURPS too long - my first thought was to wonder if the wife could use enough demerits to pay for Combat Sense…
I got +6, which entertains me. I would be a much less regular church-goer except my wife likes the opportunity to sleep in on Sundays. Got me a few points there. I guarantee I’m a better housewife than my wife.
PitToR: Yes! I find myself thinking along similar lines. Too bad most of my friends were never that interested in acutally playing GURPS.
Can play musical instrument piano, violin = wears red polish.
I guess that expensive music degree only worth a couple bottle of red Revlon paint.
——
How can sending children to sunday school worth ten points? That’s opening the phone book and yell at the kids to move their behind and pray Jesus.
The complexity is the same as ordering carry out and make the kids picks it up.
The scale doesn’t make sense.
How can sending children to sunday school worth ten points?
What I loved was that the very next item was “Lets husband sleep late on Sunday.” So the wife must be devoutly Christian, and see to it that the kids are devoutly Christian, and yet she loses credit if she somehow gets it in her head that her husband must wake up and join them at church. WTF?
Does “Jesus Christ, would you pick up your room???” count as bringing religion to the kids?
And as I never wear dresses or aprons, let alone ragged or soiled ones, I think that counts for a merit… same with nylons and hose.
I assume that “refuses to get married - ever” puts you way off the demerit chart alltogether.
Dresses for breakfast gets you points? But my boyfriend kind of likes it when I sip my morning coffee naked.
So you have to not be a jealous biths, and ALSO not flirt with strangers? What gives?
i’m glad I get merit points for being gay. who knew it would help me be a 30s housewife?
I’ve been playing GURPS too long - my first thought was to wonder if the wife could use enough demerits to pay for Combat Sense…
Good idea…I’m off to put on some red fingernail polish and see if that helps my ability to sense danger.
Net +35. Poor housewife.
So swearing at the kids while preparing breakfast in my pyjamas before I can go to work which reminds my husband that I am the primary wage earner costs me major hit points.
Not surprising.
If you look at this, however, there isn’t always feminist cred in scoring low. Some of this stuff, if generalized rather than gender stratified, is the sort of taking care of each other that should go with a good partnership - married or not, children or not.
I was especially interested in #11 and 12 on the right:
11: Religious–sends children to church and Sunday school and goes herself.
12: Lets husband sleep late on Sunday.
So apparently religion is OK for Mom, but Dad needs his sleep?
Do you get extra bonus points if you let Dad sleep in church?
+37 - i’m a fucking paragon around here!
Do you get extra bonus points if you let Dad sleep in church?
No, but you do get them for giving Dad an orgasm in the balcony…
After taking the whole test, for both husband and wife, it turns out that while I’m a borderline failure as a wife (25 points, hey, at least I came out on the positive side!), I am ROCKING IT as a husband.
Which just goes to support what I already knew — I clearly need a wife.
I’m reminded of an interesting site in Round Rock TX, not far from Austin… a church beside a driving range. So Dad can get in some practice while the young uns and old lady go to church.
We saw it on our way to a huge indoor flea market nearby- our fave pursuit on Sundays!
So the wife must be devoutly Christian, and see to it that the kids are devoutly Christian, and yet she loses credit if she somehow gets it in her head that her husband must wake up and join them at church. WTF?
God knows going to church kind of sucks, so he’ll understand if you send the wife and kids instead of going yourself. Real Men can get their wives to do unpleasant things for them, and there’s nothing God likes better than a Real Man. These days, God thinks you’re a pussy if you actually show up yourself.
After taking the whole test
Where’s the whole test? I’ve only found the one page.
follow squashed’s link to the boingboing post, which contains another link to flickr.
The husband quiz allots points for going to church and/or supervising the religious life of your kids. Though there’s no followup about letting the wife sleep in. The idea seems to be that while religious life (and passing said religious life on to the kids) is the responsibility of a husband, he gets the occasional pass to sleep in if we wants/needs to. There doesn’t seem to be any equivalent skip-out for wives, of course.
No fair! The wife gets demerits for wearing soiled dresses with red nail polish around the house, but that’s not a demerit on the husband’s chart? What’s up with that?
I’d be curious to see the husband chart. George Crane’s son was a Republican congressman who had an affair with a 17-year-old page. The father blamed the immorality of DC, took a jab at Ted Kennedy, and blew off his son’s transgression. Maybe “Has affairs with subordinate minors” is just a one-point demerit.
From his NYT obit:
“When his son, Daniel, then a Republican Congressman, admitted in 1983 that he had had an affair with a 17-year-old Congressional page, Dr. Crane defended his son, with a political dig. “Washington is the Sodom and Gomorrah of today,” he said. “Maybe he’ll appreciate Teddy Kennedy now.”
I’m sure someone has pointed this out already, but it’s kind of jarring seeing the hypocrisy right out in the open like that.
Wife is religious and takes kids to church and goes, but lets husband sleep in. She isn’t jealous or suspicious, but she isn’t flirty at parties either.
It takes a certain level of unawareness of self to do shit like that.
I’ve been playing GURPS too long - my first thought was to wonder if the wife could use enough demerits to pay for Combat Sense…
you’d be better off with absolute direction. has more use in day to day activity, and turns the Backseat Driver demerit into an advantage without changing point values.
If you read the whole quiz, you get a sense that the ability to deal with their partner’s idiosyncrasies wins points for either spouse. The husband loses points for both jealousy and flirting, as well, and there’s lots of deductions for getting on your spouse’s case about stupid stuff (and points won for letting your spouse do what they need to do without making a federal case about it).
Of course, women get deducted for more stupid things like squeezing the toothpaste from the top of the tube (seriously!), whereas men seem to get copious points simply for not being abusive dysfunctional assholes. Not to mention the fact that, reading the women’s test, it’s clear that women are always to be punctual, organized, available, and composed (not to mention attractively feminine all the while!), while men actually get to act like humans.
-1 overall. You can lose quite a few points just by following morning crabbiness to its extremes, such as pretending you don’t actually have children so you don’t have to dress them for school.
Also married sixteen years this Friday.
Then its 1939…in Thailand. Gosh, I knew there was a reason for moving here.
Xpat
formerly with PFSD
Crooked hose seams are a demerit? What about having runs in every pair you own?
I went to take the whole thing (grading myself and then my partner). It’s not really reliable in that we don’t have kids, a car, and are atheists, but I came out at a solid 0 (FAILURES!) and the dude is a “Poor” 26.
no 46. Tries to keep wife equipped with modern labor saving devices (5)
Robot wife!
no 45. An active member of some women’s organization.
I think I should start that Valerie Solanas fan club
I took the whole thing and got an 18. And that’s only because I got 20 points for liking sex. Not cooking was really a problem for these people.
However, I did get a 75 as a husband. Maybe I’ll try being a husband instead.
“Playing the trombone makes me a better housewife! W00t!”
Well, we trombonists are a breed apart… (preens, ducks smacks)
“Reads newspapers, books, or magazines aloud to wife” is a positive on the husband’s test.
Huh. Gonna have to mark me down for that. I used to do it, but the habit got extinguished when my wife kept reminding me that I was distracting her from her highly profitable writing. Excuse me…
YES MY WIFE SOLD A BOOK WOOT
Ahem. As I was saying, I don’t share indiscriminately anymore; I have to check to see if she’s scribbling first.
The only stockings I have with seams are fishnets, but I haven’t worn those in a while. Think I’ll sit down with the hubster and take this quiz as a celebration of our 17th. Although my mom always said (as she picked up another of my socks ditched in the living room) that I’d make someone a great husband some day.