Posted by Amanda Marcotte May 1, 2008 in Conservatives Sure Are Funny, Censorship, Images, Assholes
I can’t decide between this image that was broadcast on Fox News to illustrate a story about Clinton wanting some Lincoln-Douglas debates with Obama:
I actually wedge mine between my anti-gravity titties, with holster embedded via a quick outpatient surgery.
Help me, Pandagonians—which is funnier?
73 Responses to “What’s the most moronic thing I’ve laughed at today?”
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I don’t see how Fox doesn’t win this one going away. I mean, I’ve seen sinkholes funnier than Chris Muir. More important, I think Americans need to learn more about the Lincoln-Douglass debates, because it will teach them to be wary of black men who give good speeches. Not enough of my students remember the pivotal moment in the 1860 election when Abraham Lincoln said, “I think that I have a lifetime of experience that I will bring to the White House. Senator John Breckinridge has a lifetime of experience that he will bring to the White House. And Frederick Douglass has a speech he gave in 1852.”
Since I actually laughed aloud at the Lincoln/Douglas(s) mistake, that one gets my vote.
Plus it’s even more embarrassing since (in theory) Fox should know the difference between Stephen Douglas and Frederick Douglass. Muir is a known moron, so he’s got to do better than that to win.
Well, I was highly disappointed with Mr Muir, since he’d normally have drawn a lady in her underwear in a thong, and this time he hid her cartoon butt.
Mr Muir should get subscriptions to American Rifleman, Soldier of Fortune, and American Shooter. Cripes, even the ads are more realistic than his toon.
Funnier is the Douglass/Lincoln pic as it shows the competence of Fox and the ignorance of their audience.
Okay, this actually had me going for a minute–I was utterly confused about how I had missed the fact that Douglas(s) was Frederick.
Oh, wait, I’m not the dope here.
Also, I usually think Chris Muir is, er, something less than funny… but is anything in that strip actually an attempt at a punchline? I don’t think he’s even pretending to try anymore.
Chris Muir would be much happier if he’d stop trying to be funny and just concentrated on drawing porn cartoons instead.
Muir…. how does that dialog even make sense?
Nah, don’t bother.
I must vote for the Lincoln/Douglass photos as well…..they raise the question (I HOPE!!)(DUH!!!) why people are making such a big deal of Obama’s shot at the presidency, when, uh, CLEARLY a black man ran against Lincoln 150 years ago……?
Looks like time for another edition of Help Chris Muir find teh funny…
Although, on the occasion, the Fox News thing is already funny. This is what happens when the people who make TV news are so stupid and incompetent that they spend all their time covering the stupid things people say to each other, rather than doing the news. Those people are also so stupid that they can’t tell the difference between Douglass and Douglas.
Very nice, Michael Bérubé. Clever smackdown of Hillary Clinton, and good link to boot.
The Muir thing looks like three panels out of some comic book that originally had different dialog.
Where’s the joke?
(…other than the placement of the gun and holster representing an interesting new kind of cilice…)
If anyone’s interested, this page has a photograph of Stephen Douglas. Hard to confuse Douglas and Douglass.
Even stupider — when I Googled “lincoln douglas debate” and clicked on “Images,” I got images OF THE RIGHT DOUGLAS.
Jesus fucking Christ. Now I’m starting to get angry at how easy that was.
Oh, and if I Google “lincoln douglass debate” and click on “Images”?
I STILL GET THE RIGHT DOUGLAS.
They actually had to search out a picture of Frederick Douglass to put it up there.
Fox “wins” this round.
One thing’s for sure - candidates have become a hell of a lot slicker since then.
Looking at Abe Lincoln and Steve Douglass, one wonders if they would even be allowed to work anywhere on a campaign, let alone actually be the candidate…
Douglas, the white guy…
I’d say Fox News mistake. Although the Sadly No thread on the Muir strip was pretty funny.
and didn’t she just have twins? WTF?
It really sounds like everybody here’s in favor of the Fox gaffe.
Me too, BTW. *snort*
I don’t know if I’d laugh at either. The Muir cartoon is pathetic — clearly the work of a pseudo-sophisticated boy more acquainted with his collection of camouflage-clad Bratz dolls than with living, breathing women. I don’t understand the punchline either, but I don’t follow the comic. Is the character with the beard some sort of reverse necrophiliac, coyly hinting to his lady love about the joys of rigor mortis that await her when he’s passed on?
As a former TV news producer, I can see how the Fox screw-up happened: time was tight, a lazy writer with a vague grasp of history got confused and gave the graphics department the wrong name. Being a Fox employee, he probably also really, really wanted an excuse to remind his dull-witted viewing audience that “ZOMG A BLACK MAN IS RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT!!!!” And instead of panicked screaming in the control room (the usual reaction to this kind of mistake), I’m sure there were high-fives all around.
As a trained historian, of course, I’m historrified by the error (sorry, the comic strip made me do it).
I dunno, there’s something about using photoshop’s radial gradient set on black/white to color in a bra (twice!) that almost beats implying that an uppity Negro publicly debated Abraham Lincoln. I mean, he clearly won, right? I assume it was Douglass’ passionate anti-slavery arguments and stunning public smackdown of Lincoln that later convinced Honest Abe that freeing the slaves was the right choice.
I know a foreign girl who wants to get her citizenship specifically so she can get a gun and wear it on her thigh just like that. A little pink gun. She very clearly wants it for its accessory potential only.
And please, “I’m used to carrying it from my single days”? Does anyone even want to start unpacking that?
What? The people at Fox News can’t tell Frederick Douglass from Stephen Douglas?!!
Oh God is that funny. I haven’t seen a TV news blooper like that since someone was delivering the news that Albert “Cubby” Broccoli, producer of the early James Bond films, had died, and the accompanying graphic was a picture of a head of broccoli.
I suppose it’s a good thing Mike Gravel isn’t a serious candidate. Fox might not be able to tell him from the stuff you pave roads with.
I’ll admit I LOLed at the Muir cartoon. The last frame makes sweet fuck all sense, but the implication that now she’s got Muir’s alter-ego to protect her she no longer needs a gun - fucking priceless.
I refuse to believe the FOX thing is even real because that kind of ignorance with that large a platform is dang near incomprehensible to me. I’m much more comfortable believing they somehow don’t know what month it is and were just having some April Fools fun.
That’s seriously a more plausible explanation to me.
Notice that in the Muir cartoon, the only parts on that girl that are well-drawn are those which hetero males tend to focus on, and the rest of her just looks like scribbles?
“Albert “Cubby” Broccoli, producer of the early James Bond films, had died, and the accompanying graphic was a picture of a head of broccoli.”
Oh no, they didn’t! Where did the dopes at FauxNews get their edumacation? From reading gum wrappers or something?
As for what’s dumber, I’ll guess I’ll go for the Lincoln-Douglass Debates thing.
Amazing that some people are too freaking lazy to type something into google.com and hit enter.
OK, I just tried googling “Lincoln douglass” images, with “Douglas” intentionally misspelled as “Douglass”.
You know what? Google corrected my spelling. Not only that, but it also failed to put up the “Did you mean “Lincoln Douglas” chyron it usually does when it finds many more things spelled slightly differently.
It only showed me “Lincoln-Douglas” sites and images, although a few Hillary heads popped up as well. B/c she referenced “Lincoln Douglas debates” recently and that’ll get you googled.
Seriously, this fuck up took work. It’s much much funnier.
I haven’t seen a TV news blooper like that since someone was delivering the news that Albert “Cubby” Broccoli, producer of the early James Bond films, had died, and the accompanying graphic was a picture of a head of broccoli.
Now that’s funny.
Thanks, Bitter Scribe.
What makes anyone think Fox would use Google? They seem more like a Conservapædia type to me.
My vote for funny is the Fox image; Muir is just pathetic. I admit that I don’t keep up with his “comic” so I could have missed one that was actually funny, but every one I’ve seen has lacked any humor at all. In fact, they usually fail to even make sense. Maybe if I got drunk on Wingnut Koolaid I could find the humor but, well, I’ll pass.
Muir’s kinda cheered me up as I am in the middle of a divorce and can now look forward to packing heat once again.
“Muir’s kinda cheered me up as I am in the middle of a divorce and can now look forward to packing heat once again.”
…riiiiiiiiigt…
AnotherLurker - the divorce thing sucks. I know from experience. The shit you’ll be going through does have an end, and on the other side is whatever you choose to make of it. If it gets too shitty to bear on your own, drop a line at psuedonym at gmail dot com.
The FauxNews screwup is much funnier. Yes, they had to work at screwing it up plus did anyone at FauxNews really think that Abraham Lincoln ran against a black man?
Muir is pathetic. By the way, if you go back to the old days when he started, that woman was not nearly as well built as she is today. Apparently age and having twins has improved her body.
Redd Foxx vs. Raymond Massey, easily.
So, does Faux know that the Lincoln-Douglas debates wer ein a Senate race, and not in the Presidential race? (I doubt it).
I’m surprised they didn’t put up a picture of Mary Todd Lincoln up against Frederick Douglass.
Oh, I hope The Daily Show does that!! Announce they need to make a correction, take Abe out, and put Mary in. That would be the coup de grace.
I would rather vote for Mr. Douglass than Mr. Obama.
CParis: To be fair, it wasn’t Fox that did the broccoli screwup. It was some local station—don’t remember which one.
I vote for Fox in the “most moronic” sweepstakes.
As to Muir’s cartoon, a comment in the Sadly, No thread gave me the clue — apparently the guy is making a veiled reference to dying with an erection. Now, whether the erection is caused by a hot woman firing a weapon or because the hot woman just flashed her panties at you while yanking up her skirt to *get* to the aforementioned weapon, only Muir, his analyst, and his imaginary sky buddy know for sure.
So, why does the woman character say “dig” at the end? And what’s up with the incomprehensibly un-anatomical anatomy and the weird contorted bodies and the scarred mouths, and the time-distorted dialog…
Oh, to hell with it. Rex Morgan and Brenda Starr are more realistic people and Nancy has sharper jokes … and it’s hard hard wurk wondering what this Muir guy meant to draw,
The Lincoln/Douglass debate screenshot FTW.
It’s “Pig”, not “dig”. And it’s lame in any language.
Actually, the funniest part is the bow tie. Really.
I dress up for the opera. I’ve seen Tosca time and again. Nobody dresses like that, at least in southern California.
It’s all about the music. “Vissi d’ Arte”: if you can’t play that back to yourself you don’t know what I’m talking about. For my money, the high point is in the first act when Scarpia exclaims “Tosca, you make me forget God.”
Of course, I’m an atheist.
Blue Jean:
He did, long ago. He’s just not very good at porn, either.My back hurts just looking at her.
hbsweet- brilliant answer!!
I just wonder how many Fox viewers saw this and DIDN’T catch the error…
He’s fully dressed and she’s still in her panties. Women are incapable of talking and dressing themselves at the same time? I really don’t understand the last panel. I get the “Die Hard” reference, but why does that warrant a retort of “pig” ? Sometimes, I feel like Chris Muir is an un-ironic version of the Onion’s political cartoonist, but not as clever.
The Lincoln Douglass gaffe was incredible. Only Fox news would suggest that Abraham Lincoln debated a freed slave.
At least Fox used the right picture of Douglass for the era. I don’t know how many times I’ve seen text books and others showing Douglass the abolitionist but using the picture of him from the 1880s/ It’s so strong a cliche that it was in the movie Glory (with aging Ossie Davis playing Douglass). And of course Douglass wasn’t a freed slave, but a runaway (who eventually bought his freedom).
I can’t laugh at Muir because it just makes no sense. I often wonder if Day by Day is some surrealist experiment.
holly molly, forget lincoln douglas
how about this from Hillary campaign in 1992
Kantor: “Look at Indiana - 42-40. It doesn’t matter if we win; those people are shit. How would you like to be a worthless white nigger?”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sN_nQOHj__s
I win for the “most moronic thing I see” today
Firefall:
LOL!
A .40 cal Glock strapped to her hip? Her gown better be tailored for a piece. And how the hell is she going to get to it strapped to her leg like that? “Before you assault me just let me hike my skirt up all the way… hold on…. ah, here we go…”. Pfft, not like it’s going to stay on her hip with that rig anyways.
I’d recommend, in lieu of sanity, an H&K P7-K3 in the purse ladies. Lighter, quicker, no fooling about with safeties, .380 round is easier to handle and still hits like a brick through a plate glass window. And, really, what’s better than ventilating an Italian opera with a German gun?
“Wagner sends his regards!” BLAM!
“This one’s for Wolfie!” BLAM!
Fox. Breathtakingly idiotic.
Did anybody else instantly remember the T-shirt with Groucho Marx and John Lennon?
I dress up for the opera. I’ve seen Tosca time and again. Nobody dresses like that, at least in southern California.
It’s all about the music. “Vissi d’ Arte” . . .
It’s just Chris Muir’s way of telling us he lives for his art, and for love . . .
Vissi d’arte, vissi d’amore,
non feci mai male ad anima viva!
Con man furtiva
quante miserie conobbi aiutai.
Sempre con fè sincera
la mia preghiera
ai santi tabernacoli salì.
Sempre con fè sincera
diedi fiori agl’altar.
Nell’ora del dolore
perchè, perchè, Signore,
perchè me ne rimuneri così?
Diedi gioielli della Madonna al manto,
e diedi il canto agli astri, al ciel,
che ne ridean più belli.
Nell’ora del dolor
perchè, perchè, Signor,
ah, perchè me ne rimuneri così?
Hey Squashed, why exactly should we “forget” history like Lincoln and Douglas? To make room for the “Hillary campaign in 1992″ which did not, you know, exist?
And what Chris Muir’s characters will make of Tosca is also an interesting question . . . You’d think their sympathies would be all with Scarpia, the Dick Cheney of his day, bravely torturing radical leftist terrorists to gain vital information for the war against red revolution . . .
unree May 2, 2008 at 10:17 am
Hey Squashed, why exactly should we “forget” history like Lincoln and Douglas? To make room for the “Hillary campaign in 1992″ which did not, you know, exist?
well I don’t know about you
1. Lincoln and Douglas is pretty ancient history. (important, interesting, yes. But nearly zero immediate impact)
2. Hillary’s machine operates pretty much the same as Bill’s machine (notice steph and whatshisname are in the picture)
3. In light of Hillary doing fear mongering (those black people are scary), the irony is boundless. From this picture it is obvious team Clinton (and hillary) are bunch of racist fuck when right come down to it.
4. Voter suppression. That NC AA voter? Well you think Hillary fucking them because they don’t vote for her bear any credibility?
5. If Hillary making big deal about Obama association with Ayers 30 some years ago, when he is 8. I sure as hell gonna make BIG NOISE about these MOFO running 92 campaign and holding key positions inside CLinton campaign.
so… still think it’s not funny?
I thought it’s hillary. (specially, those yip-yip hillary voters who was making noise about racism, class, and everything else. getting outraged about an illustration)
Where is your outrage now muther fuckers?
Chris Muir has clearly spent too much time viewing internet porn.
But Fox will definitely get the award for the days biggest WTF??!? moment.
Definitely the Fox pics. What a bunch of maroons!
Yeah, bad Jim, I thought the same thing. Even in orchestra, the only people in suits at the Met are bankers in their work clothes. Let alone a tux on anyone under 70.
Remix!
Panel 1:
Him: Tosca needs the .40 Glock?
Her: Oops!
Panel 2:
Her: I forgot you already packed the shotguns, assault rifles, and all those grenades.
Panel 3:
Him: They’ll never see us coming.
Her: Heh.
so, is Chris Muir actually doing a storyline where his self insert character is James Bond or something?
also, I love how his “strawliberal girlfriend to prove my character isn’t a douche who puts politics above people” carried a gun “in her single days.” there’s at least 3 different levels of fucked up for that. (”Concealed firearms are so common sense, even strawliberals know how good it is” “now that I’m not single, I can just let my MAN protect me” and “isn’t that a felony ANYWAY?”)
I’ve never heard of Muir before, but the comic just makes me scratch my head. I’m not spotting the punchline at all on that one.
The FOX blunder is priceless. They “win.”
Oh. my. god. The Faux News pic. There is no competing with that.
I’m trying to figure out which one is supposed to be Hillary and which one is supposed to be Barack. They only went halfway with the clues, you know, they made sure one of ‘em was black but didn’t Photoshop any tits or lipstick on the other one.
Karpad asked:
Depends. One of my site’s other writers — and my best friend — described what he had to do to obtain a concealed carry permit in Kentucky.
And we will probably know by June whether the Supreme Court has agreed with the Court of Appeals that the Second Amendment recognizes an individual right to keep and bear arms.
I’m voting ‘Fox employee on last day of short-term contract’ for Lincoln-Douglass, and thus giving it the win.
For Muir, it’s ‘yet another day of (badly) creating your own wankfodder’.
Lisa wrote:
Lisa: Since Mrs Clinton is running as being as tough as any man, and the one we want answering the 3:00 AM phone call — from General McClellan, perhaps? — she’s the one depicted by a war-leader president. I’m surprised that you didn’t see that!
Sarcastro - precisely. A .40 is just too unwieldily under a gown, or as a concealed weapon in general if you are any smaller than 200 lbs. And besides, even with a .40, the Springfield Armory XD just has a nicer “feel” and fits better in my girly hands. Muir is such a dork.
As for the accessorization of guns and making them pink - gun is not an accessory, and pink guns are just soooo cute! (Yes, I want my next gun to be customized hot pink, even though I could go and buy a .380 in baby pink at the gun shop down the road)…
Yes, Fox won this round. Not hard to beat Muir
Dana: omg, you’re right, I suck!
I didn’t get the Muir cartoon and the debate pictures until sadlyno deconstucted it
“old habits die hard - like the rapists you shot”
Hardy har har. (Slaps knee).
The debate picture mistake just shows the sloppiness or lack of concern for Fox News.
And the stupid youtube clip is fake. It was overdubbed. Even Drudge backed away.
Heh. That’s like the weekly world news declaring that bat boy AND space aliens are not real.
gah. deconstRucted.
concern for *facts*.
The stupid anti bot code dumps my message and throws me off when I have to retype it.
Ironic that you point out Fox’s mistaken use of a photograph. Maybe they just ‘didn’t notice until now.’
“Ironic that you point out Fox’s mistaken use of a photograph. Maybe they just ‘didn’t notice until now.’”
Now THAT’s the kind of hard-hitting trollery we could use around here…
…or not…