Comments on: For the last time, it’s not domestic if it doesn’t take place in the home

by: Astonished

Sat, 03 May 2008 13:42:41 +0100

Jennifer. I agree with you about the difficulty that Chief Timeus must be having with this situation. Perhaps it will give him a little insight into what its like for the citizens in the community. the West Linn PD seems to be on a par with the Lake Oswego PD when it comes to common sense and having an understanding of the people they serve.
As far as this crime goes I read that Bill had been sober for 25 years and only recently returned to the bottle. It all makes sense now. Sober, he was a pretty good guy…drunk he looses it all. Only two months back on the booze and it comes to this. Very sad.

by: heidi

Sat, 03 May 2008 09:01:20 +0100

You know, I have seen a few blogs using this story to get donations to diffrent women shelters. I would like to say that I have many many childhood memories of being at Lisa and Bill’s home and spending holidays with them growing up. They were VERY close family friends. I have not been in touch with them for quit some time as I moved out of state but I NEVER remember any drama at their home growing up. Not even an arguement. I understand that many times women are able to hide this. My memories of there home is that it was a very peaceful home, I remember gardening with them, going to church with them, their children were sweet, kind, happy children, I remember lots of love and laughter being in their home. I just have my doubts that he was the women beater people seem to be making him out to be and I have my doubts about whether or not any womens shelter could have prevented this, I mean she drove to the police station and they couldn’t even help her. Bill was a Vietnam Vetran and I think maybe more support and resources for our Vetrans maybe could have prevented this. As far as I know the VA is about the only place who can help these guys, however many of these guys no longer trust their government after being in that war so they tend not to seek help from them. Who knows I am not justifying what he did, what he did was horrible but the Bill I knew was a nice, layback guy. I believe he snapped. It just doesn’t make sense. My love and prayers goes out to their parents, children and grandchildren

by: heidi

Sat, 03 May 2008 08:58:30 +0100

by: Helen

Fri, 02 May 2008 09:30:57 +0100

Oh, and “honour killing” should have had scare quotes, too - didn’t mean to imply there is any honour involved!

by: Helen

Fri, 02 May 2008 09:29:40 +0100

Calling a premeditated murder a “dispute” is completely inappropriate, but I’m not so sure about “domestic”. Maybe the word should be different, but there should be some kind of adjective to indicate the source of the violence. And it should be used consistently to stigmatize this kind of violence, so that the fact that your community had a domestic murder should be as horrific and embarrassing as the fact that it had a lynching.

Call it what it is - it’s honour killing.

It’s a myth that “we” (western societies) don’t have it, only “them”!

http://www.philcleary.com.au/literature_murder_arena_mccarthy.htm

by: rapunzel

Fri, 02 May 2008 09:14:32 +0100

i work with victims all the time who no longer are with their abusers. i work with victims who never shared a residence with their abuser. the most dangerous time to be in an abusive relationship is when you’ve ended it. it’s all about power and control for the abuser, you take that away from them, they get pretty lethal.

http://www.pcadv.org/hotfiles/06fatreport.pdf

the pennsylvania coalition against domestic violence publishes a review of all the domestic violence related homicides and suicides each year, that is to the 2006 report. go ahead and check out all the stories county by county. some women killed at home with someone they were still in a relationship with, some killed by estranged partners, some killed on the street, some at a friends house. ALL are domestic violence murders.

by: Jeffrey

Fri, 02 May 2008 01:01:40 +0100

Rapunzel, there’s nothing inherently wrong with calling certain crimes “domestic,” if that’s what they really are. But this wasn’t domestic. The woman and her murderer were separated, ergo no domesticity. It would be as if I, a college student, were to attack a high school classmate and the media called it a school shooting.

by: Jennifer

Thu, 01 May 2008 16:24:34 +0100

So sorry my first comment got posted twice- this is my first time on here & I messed up!
Anyways, the reason the police chief wanted 911 called is to alert backup & the rest of the police system.
Just a little support for Chief Timeus- I’m sure this incident hasn’t been easy for the West Linn PD, and they’ve had to take a lot of unnecessary flack.
Intimate Partner Violence (or DV) can sometimes be better dealt with by law enforcement, but they’re not all bad! It’s so unfortunate that a few bad apples make it hard for folks to see and appreciate all the good ones, and I wish folks could be more supportive and there could be less bashing.
Just my 2 cents for the day…

by: rapunzel

Thu, 01 May 2008 08:49:12 +0100

the newer term is intimate partner violence. it’s important to me that label exists because it brings to light the fact that it’s a type of relationship violence. i think calling it a ‘dispute’ is utterly repulsive, i’d rather ‘domestic violence murder-suicide’ myself, but i think think the ‘domestic’ part is important. the first step to ending relationship violence is to get people to name it and recognize it.

i think the reason there is the thought of DV or IPV incidents being more dangerous is because for a lot of victims (in my experience) by the time they’re ready to call the police, they’re in pretty serious risk of being murdered. if your perp is willing to shoot you, and shoot himself, what’s stopping him from shooting a couple cops who show up too?

by: Mighty Ponygirl

Thu, 01 May 2008 07:55:41 +0100

It’s not just domestic partner, it’s any relationship that a woman has with a man. I had a friend at my last job who was afraid that her estranged father was going to try to manufacture a “reunion” after he’d discovered where she was. Whether or not it was a legitimate concern (and she understood that it wasn’t a high risk), she had gone to the company’s security office just to make them aware of the situation (he had a violent temper).

They pretty much blew her off. The chief of security basically told her “you need to relax and go catch a movie. Go see Million Dollar Baby. That movie’s great.”