That’s a damn big household
There’s times when “domestic dispute” fits the bill. There are many times when it doesn’t. It’s especially not a domestic dispute if the killer and murder victim don’t even live together (trigger warning):
West Linn authorities say two dead in domestic dispute
West Linn police said Newton Bill McMurtrey, 56, of Damascus shot and killed his estranged wife, Lisa Gayle McMurtrey, 51, outside the West Linn Police Department office at 22825 Willamette Drive. He then turned the gun on himself. He died later at OHSU Hospital.
Here’s the thing. Damascus is 12 miles - two highways and a bridge - away from the West Linn police department. Additional reports throw a third highway into the mix, but one thing is clear: Either Newton Bill McMurtrey drove for half an hour to reach his estranged wife, or he chased her for half an hour, ramming her car the whole way, before finally shooting and killing her. This is not a story of a heated argument over household finances, or a drunken argument getting out of hand*. This took work, and, being that I have no standing in any possible court case nor am I a journalist, if it wasn’t at least semi-pre-meditated I’ll eat my hat.
There is no known definition of domestic which describes this situation, as alleged. Hell, it’s making the word dispute do quadruple duty. I’m not sure there are words sufficient for this situation. But that doesn’t absolve the media from trying to think of some. To be fair to the Oregonian, other stories were much more complete, so maybe I’m just being pedantic for lack of a better response to such a terrible tragedy.
I might, of course, also suggest a donation to your local domestic-violence shelter, such as the Bradley-Angle House or Raphael House here in Portland.
If you’re in this area and need help, call 1 (800) 622-3782 for the Oregon Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence.
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* NOT, needless to say, that those situations are anything resembling mitigation. Simply offered by way of contrasting “entitled, sexist, abusive asshole” vs. “cold-blooded killer.” Which still isn’t much of a contrast.
34 Responses to “For the last time, it’s not domestic if it doesn’t take place in the home”
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It’s also not a “dispute” if you use the words “shot and killed”. That’s more “murder” territory.
But it was a dispute. She wanted to be alive, he preferred that she be otherwise. Also, a mugging is an economic transaction wherein a person weighs the the value of their wallet against the value of their teeth.
It is misleading, but maybe they are simply using that word to denote what it was NOT - a road rage incident, a random event. Still a bit lazy but headlines are notoriously tricky and generally inadequate (if not downright misleading).
Agreed; this usage of the phrase “domestic dispute” is incorrect.
This is right straight-up premeditated murder. The fact that they knew each other is an ancillary fact.
There was an incident back in February where a woman took out her abusive ex with a couple of well-placed gunshots just before work (in Gladstone, I believe).
Even though he was at work, it was “a domestic dispute”, even though they no longer lived together (but shared some kids)and he was arriving at his workplace.
I agree - bullshit here too.
You’ve definitely put your finger on why I’m uneasy with the way gendered crimes get categorized differently. It turns into a way to make gendered crimes less criminal somehow.
Not really. Some crazy woman-hating men just go out and kill random women they don’t know, but most crazy woman-hating men kill women they are (or have been) involved with. Because that’s what patriarchy tells them to do if the woman gets out of control.
Calling a premeditated murder a “dispute” is completely inappropriate, but I’m not so sure about “domestic”. Maybe the word should be different, but there should be some kind of adjective to indicate the source of the violence. And it should be used consistently to stigmatize this kind of violence, so that the fact that your community had a domestic murder should be as horrific and embarrassing as the fact that it had a lynching.
Right.
If the news were reported correctly, it would shock Ma and Pa Kettle to no end to hear how many “murders” or “murder/suicides” there really are in this nation…
It’s easier (?) to dismiss the events and say, “Well, you don’t always know both sides of the story”, as if it’s somehow FINE that a person was viciously hunted down and slaughtered, if the media makes sure to let you know that these people knew each other or had some sort of relationship.
And if they had “a history of domestic violence” or “the police were frequently called regarding this couple”, well! Then Ma and Pa can smugly point at the TV and declare that it’s the VICTIM’S OWN DAMNED FAULT! She “should have known” this was coming or was possible and should have taken better steps to protect herself!
Like what? Grab a rocket to Saturn?
I swear the media is partially culpable in their slanted coverage and also in giving people the idea to blow away their exes with relating the details! Copycat crimes…
“Gee, I’m really pissed that she left me and is dating someone else- but I know what. If I can’t have her, no one can- I’ll take her and as many others out as I can; my life has no meaning anymore… at work, she is trapped and I can get her there.”
The media usually reports what the authorities tell them. So if the police say “this was a domestic dispute” the media will print it.
The police are very eager to label any male/female interaction as a “domestic.” When I was having difficulty with a guy I went on one date with harrassing me and I went to the police, they kept insisting he was my “boyfriend,” no matter how much I protested to the contrary. I was very frustrated because I could see them just rolling their eyes and thinking “oh, domestic case.”
Here’s a recent story from Maine.
What gets me is that the State police and media made a similar mistake…
well duh, ponygirl…once you speak to ‘im, you’re ASKING FOR IT. you shouldn’t lead boys on, by existing as if you had a right, if you don’t want the responsibility of deflecting violent stalkers on your own… /snark.
Mighty Ponygirl, a friend of mine is dealing with a similar situation right now, and I am sad to say I was shocked when her local police department took her seriously. I mean, it’s great that they did, but that should be the baseline expectation!
Are things okay for you now?
Mrs Nice Guy here. Years ago, my son was locked out of his house by a guy who had been visiting for a couple of days. The police declined to help him, because it was a “domestic dispute.” Odd, because I’ve certainly known them to get involved in “domestic disputes” before. But not when it might just possibly involve gay guys, I guess. Not that they were, but y’know, why take the chance?
They also said it might be a “landlord-tenant” matter, like that would make it okay.
It’s strange that a “domestic” or “tenancy” matter can’t be dealt with by the police when it gets to be abusive or violent. All we need is more “categories,” and they won’t need to deal with anything.
so someone can only be a victim of domestic violence if the incident happens at home? i see. gotta go and tell all those victims i work with that they’re not really victims of DV cause their abuser came to their office, or followed them to the park, or showed up at their school, or their children’s school…
Mister Nice Guy,
It’s strange but not unexplainable. What happens, IMO, is that police officers treat anecdotes
like thisabout arguing spouses turning on responding police officers as if they were statistics, from which you get the conventional wisdom that “the most dangerous situation to walk into is a domestic dispute.” I have never seen studies to confirm this, but maybe they exist.Either way, there’s certainly an air of extra-caution surrounding (actual) domestic situations.
(I had originally linked to what I thought was a case of a domestic dispute ending in the death of police officers, but then I realized that the police officers were the ‘disputers.’)
It seems to me that the use of the phrase “domestic dispute” isn’t inappropriate because it fails to accurately describe the situation, here, but because the term itself is loaded with patriarchal assumptions and therefore seen as somehow less of a crime than something that couldn’t be so described.
So it seems to me that the blame can’t be entirely laid at the feet of journalism, at least not this time.
I heard about this on my way to work and I wondered how many times she had tried to escape this madman before he finally killed her. It’s so sad. Rapunzel is absolutely RIGHT. Domestic does not mean ‘at home’. I’ve been a client of a DV shelter, and believe me, you don’t stop being scared when you finally ‘get out of the house!’ Domestic violence is terribly misunderstood by the police and just about everyone that hasn’t experienced it firsthand. Boundaries are so blurred and fucked up beyond recognition that a woman can be stalked and hunted down and MURDERED IN THE PARKING LOT of a fucking POLICE STATION by her abuser. People…. That. Is. FUCKED. UP. That. Is. Domestic. Violence.
“Domestic violence” as a law-enforcement category really means “domestic PARTNER violence” and I do think it’s important to subcategorize murders in this way.
But I don’t think the “murder” aspect should be underplayed.
The thing is, though, that murder by a domestic partner is something that people are going to look at and guard against (as much as they can) very differently than murder by a stranger.
So, Louise at #10, my point is that it’s not a mistake–that murder was an instance of “domestic violence.”
Just as the ones where the proverbial “disgruntled ex-employee” goes in and shoots up an office are instances of “workplace violence.”
Caroline, everything is fine, thanks… this was years ago.
I agree with JupiterPluvius that:
“Domestic violence” as a law-enforcement category really means ‘domestic PARTNER violence’ and I do think it’s important to subcategorize murders in this way.
But I don’t think the ‘murder’ aspect should be underplayed.”
So very true, and so very sad. Abuse or murder of one person by another who was previously involved in a relationship, gay or straight, IS domestic violence, no matter where it takes place. This helps explain the dynamics behind the situation somewhat, but of course, each situation is different.
Categorizing something as domestic should in no way undermine the seriousness and horrific nature of a crime like this.
Please be aware that Clackamas Women’s Services is also a very good organization to donate to or volunteer for if you would like to become involved in the fight to empower families against violence. Raphael House, Bradley-Angle, and Yolanda House are great resources for Multnomah County, and Clackamas Women’s Services provides the only two emergency shelters and crisis line for survivors of domestic and sexual violence in Clackamas County.
www.cwsor.org
I agree with JupiterPluvius that:
“Domestic violence” as a law-enforcement category really means ‘domestic PARTNER violence’ and I do think it’s important to subcategorize murders in this way.
But I don’t think the ‘murder’ aspect should be underplayed.”
So very true, and so very sad. Abuse or murder of one person by another who was previously involved in a relationship, gay or straight, IS domestic violence, no matter where it takes place. This helps explain the dynamics behind the situation somewhat, but of course, each situation is different.
Categorizing something as domestic should in no way undermine the seriousness and horrific nature of a crime like this.
Please be aware that Clackamas Women’s Services is also a very good organization to donate to or volunteer for if you would like to become involved in the fight to empower families against violence. Raphael House, Bradley-Angle, and Yolanda House are great resources for Multnomah County, and Clackamas Women’s Services provides the only two emergency shelters and crisis line for survivors of domestic and sexual violence in Clackamas County.
www.cwsor.org
domestic dispute/premeditated/murder/Whatever!
What shocked me was that the response from the Chief of Police was to call 911. Who did he think they were going to send to his police station? I thought 911 called the cops when people were getting shot. I mean they have the guns and radios and police cars don’t they?
So it’s your position that ‘domestic’ is not used by law enforcement and media as a term of belittlement? There’s no term like ‘partner violence’ or ‘intimate violence’ that might remove some of the reverse-stigma currently protecting so many abusers?
I’m not sure what kind of reading it requires to read negative intent towards victims from my post…
It’s not just domestic partner, it’s any relationship that a woman has with a man. I had a friend at my last job who was afraid that her estranged father was going to try to manufacture a “reunion” after he’d discovered where she was. Whether or not it was a legitimate concern (and she understood that it wasn’t a high risk), she had gone to the company’s security office just to make them aware of the situation (he had a violent temper).
They pretty much blew her off. The chief of security basically told her “you need to relax and go catch a movie. Go see Million Dollar Baby. That movie’s great.”
the newer term is intimate partner violence. it’s important to me that label exists because it brings to light the fact that it’s a type of relationship violence. i think calling it a ‘dispute’ is utterly repulsive, i’d rather ‘domestic violence murder-suicide’ myself, but i think think the ‘domestic’ part is important. the first step to ending relationship violence is to get people to name it and recognize it.
i think the reason there is the thought of DV or IPV incidents being more dangerous is because for a lot of victims (in my experience) by the time they’re ready to call the police, they’re in pretty serious risk of being murdered. if your perp is willing to shoot you, and shoot himself, what’s stopping him from shooting a couple cops who show up too?
So sorry my first comment got posted twice- this is my first time on here & I messed up!
Anyways, the reason the police chief wanted 911 called is to alert backup & the rest of the police system.
Just a little support for Chief Timeus- I’m sure this incident hasn’t been easy for the West Linn PD, and they’ve had to take a lot of unnecessary flack.
Intimate Partner Violence (or DV) can sometimes be better dealt with by law enforcement, but they’re not all bad! It’s so unfortunate that a few bad apples make it hard for folks to see and appreciate all the good ones, and I wish folks could be more supportive and there could be less bashing.
Just my 2 cents for the day…
Rapunzel, there’s nothing inherently wrong with calling certain crimes “domestic,” if that’s what they really are. But this wasn’t domestic. The woman and her murderer were separated, ergo no domesticity. It would be as if I, a college student, were to attack a high school classmate and the media called it a school shooting.
i work with victims all the time who no longer are with their abusers. i work with victims who never shared a residence with their abuser. the most dangerous time to be in an abusive relationship is when you’ve ended it. it’s all about power and control for the abuser, you take that away from them, they get pretty lethal.
http://www.pcadv.org/hotfiles/06fatreport.pdf
the pennsylvania coalition against domestic violence publishes a review of all the domestic violence related homicides and suicides each year, that is to the 2006 report. go ahead and check out all the stories county by county. some women killed at home with someone they were still in a relationship with, some killed by estranged partners, some killed on the street, some at a friends house. ALL are domestic violence murders.
#
Calling a premeditated murder a “dispute” is completely inappropriate, but I’m not so sure about “domestic”. Maybe the word should be different, but there should be some kind of adjective to indicate the source of the violence. And it should be used consistently to stigmatize this kind of violence, so that the fact that your community had a domestic murder should be as horrific and embarrassing as the fact that it had a lynching.
Call it what it is - it’s honour killing.
It’s a myth that “we” (western societies) don’t have it, only “them”!
http://www.philcleary.com.au/literature_murder_arena_mccarthy.htm
Oh, and “honour killing” should have had scare quotes, too - didn’t mean to imply there is any honour involved!
You know, I have seen a few blogs using this story to get donations to diffrent women shelters. I would like to say that I have many many childhood memories of being at Lisa and Bill’s home and spending holidays with them growing up. They were VERY close family friends. I have not been in touch with them for quit some time as I moved out of state but I NEVER remember any drama at their home growing up. Not even an arguement. I understand that many times women are able to hide this. My memories of there home is that it was a very peaceful home, I remember gardening with them, going to church with them, their children were sweet, kind, happy children, I remember lots of love and laughter being in their home. I just have my doubts that he was the women beater people seem to be making him out to be and I have my doubts about whether or not any womens shelter could have prevented this, I mean she drove to the police station and they couldn’t even help her. Bill was a Vietnam Vetran and I think maybe more support and resources for our Vetrans maybe could have prevented this. As far as I know the VA is about the only place who can help these guys, however many of these guys no longer trust their government after being in that war so they tend not to seek help from them. Who knows I am not justifying what he did, what he did was horrible but the Bill I knew was a nice, layback guy. I believe he snapped. It just doesn’t make sense. My love and prayers goes out to their parents, children and grandchildren
You know, I have seen a few blogs using this story to get donations to diffrent women shelters. I would like to say that I have many many childhood memories of being at Lisa and Bill’s home and spending holidays with them growing up. They were VERY close family friends. I have not been in touch with them for quit some time as I moved out of state but I NEVER remember any drama at their home growing up. Not even an arguement. I understand that many times women are able to hide this. My memories of there home is that it was a very peaceful home, I remember gardening with them, going to church with them, their children were sweet, kind, happy children, I remember lots of love and laughter being in their home. I just have my doubts that he was the women beater people seem to be making him out to be and I have my doubts about whether or not any womens shelter could have prevented this, I mean she drove to the police station and they couldn’t even help her. Bill was a Vietnam Vetran and I think maybe more support and resources for our Vetrans maybe could have prevented this. As far as I know the VA is about the only place who can help these guys, however many of these guys no longer trust their government after being in that war so they tend not to seek help from them. Who knows I am not justifying what he did, what he did was horrible but the Bill I knew was a nice, layback guy. I believe he snapped. It just doesn’t make sense. My love and prayers goes out to their parents, children and grandchildren
Jennifer. I agree with you about the difficulty that Chief Timeus must be having with this situation. Perhaps it will give him a little insight into what its like for the citizens in the community. the West Linn PD seems to be on a par with the Lake Oswego PD when it comes to common sense and having an understanding of the people they serve.
As far as this crime goes I read that Bill had been sober for 25 years and only recently returned to the bottle. It all makes sense now. Sober, he was a pretty good guy…drunk he looses it all. Only two months back on the booze and it comes to this. Very sad.