“one should not enter into or maintain agreements or contracts…”

Obviously this is a standard you apply to your own personal life, but should your standards apply to everyone elses - even people you don’t know or whose personal circumstances you are unfamiliar with?

Isn’t that a little judgemental and outside the normal progressive framework?

What business is it of yours (or mine) the decisions others make?

Fine, I accept marriage had different attributes pre-feminism, universal sufferage and the pill. I also accept that Blake was an unconventional thinker for his time (he’s probably an unconventional thinker for our time)

But my opening line “Sorry, getting laid while married (or in any long term relationship) actually is logistically pretty difficult.” still stands in modern marriage.

Getting laid still isn’t easy, many married men have limited opportunities to do so, and a multitude of motivations - hence prostitution.

Sure, he might ” get lucky”.- but that very phrase indicates that the club/ dating scene is a game of chance, not a sure thing.
Men go to prostitutes for four reasons. The first is certainty. If you put down your money, you WILL get laid.
The second is speed. You can dial up a hooker and get your ashes hauled within the hour. if you play the club game, you may be at it all night for no reward.
The third is anonymity. Prostitutes are usually discreet . They are interested in repeat business, so it profits them to keep their mouths shut.
The fourth is professionalism. With a prostitute, you usually get sex the way you want it, and there’s no worrying about whether she will go down on you or do it doggy style.
All that said, you are really much better off getting a girlfriend. Lets face it, a real man wants a woman to have sex with him because she wants to, not because she is paid to. On the other hand, as Woody Allen says, sex without love may be empty- but as empty things go, its pretty good.
This of course is for the single guy. For the married guy, I think that often marriages after about 15-20 years kind of turn into partnerships/friendships- at least from the woman’s standpoint- and the guys get the message that the regular sex phase of the marriage is over and that they either get used to special occasions sex or that they should do something else. Feminists tend to argue that instead of cheating, you should just get divorced- but hey , maybe the marriage is working well in every other area but the sex area. Why get divorced when you can make it work by getting some side stuff. This is what the men tell themselves and I’m sure it sounds like rationalization. OTOH, I’ve seen situations where women pretty much just don’t want to be bothered to have regular sex with their husbands any more- but they don’t want to get divorced either. They pretty much just expect the men to get used to special occasions sex and yet remain in the marriage. I’m willing to bet thats a fairly common occurrence. In that case, prostitution looms as an option. Prostitutes claim that their typical client is a married man who is looking for variety and more attention than he is getting from his spouse. Make of that what you will .

Clients ranged from 18 to 80 and came from a mix of backgrounds. Many were married, or in long-term relationships.

“It’s men looking for a bit of variety. In some cases we help spark up relationships which have gone a little stale. It’s not our place to judge whether the guys are married or not,” Lacey said.

“That said, there’s definitely some sick puppies out there who request all sorts of bizarre things. You wouldn’t believe some of the things I’ve seen, or been asked to do.”

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/category/story.cfm?c_id=87&objectid=10475218&pnum=3

I included the sick puppy part because I will concede that this constitutes a part- a small part- of the prostitution business. Its not the the bulk of the trade, however.

Or, you could either, a) not get marries if you plan on cheating, or b) have an open marriage (but that means she gets to see other people too). Either way, it’s a bad thing to do, making contracts/promises (like marriage) you know you are going to break. Just don’t do it.

Not to mention that in Blake’s time (pre even first wave feminism, including such events as the 1848 Seneca Falls convention), the dynamics and power relations in marriage were vastly different than they are today. Like, it’s possible for a woman to mot get married and still be a (more or less) respected and successful member of the community.

Sorry, getting laid while married (or in any long term relationship) actually is logistically pretty difficult. Firstly, you have to find the time off from the main relationship (and that’s difficult to cover up and maintain over time), and secondly you have to have a pretty good story for the mistress - she’s not going to enter a relationship that has no future.

Most women are very wary of men in relationships, not just for their own self esteem and to prevent pain later, but also because of respect for their ’sister’.

One night stands are also hard because few women are up for sex with a man they only just met, and the man usually exudes desperation and lack of discrimination (”I’m only out-of-town for one night, gotta find someone”)

In fact there is a whole industry (”hostessing”) built on the back of this problem in Japan where men pay *only* for companionship, not sex (yes Japan does have prostitution, but hostessing isn’t prostitution). It is much easier for men to spend a couple of hundred dollars for a couple of hours of conversation and drinks before catching the last train home, than about half that in a fruitless bar crawl trying to strike up conversations - Japan’s bars are expensive. A hostess bar is often pretty good value when you want a night on the town. (Hostessing is however a stupifyingly boring occupation, as most men don’t have good conversational skills. There are also cultural issues as Japanese men are not particularly respectful or open with women. Western customers are preferred.)

Most prostitutes will tell you that about 5% of their customers are complete a%^^les, 5% are very respectful, friendly and all-round great, the remaining 90% are just ordinary joes paying for the convenience and companionship who nonetheless treat them pretty well. It’s the first lot that most of the comments here about power are addressed to. The ones in the second group - the good ones - are the ones who will take time to pleasure the woman because they enjoy doing so, as do many in the large remainder.

Another thing to bear in mind is the pack mentality. Virtually no prostitute on earth will accept two or more clients at a time - that leads to gang rape as the boys egg each other on. And coincidentally, I was talking to a very successful lap-dancer just last night who told me she will not even approach a group of men larger than 2 because they tend to become too nasty for her. In addition, groups of men are apparently bad payers as an individual man is diminished by showing “weakness” in leaving the pack for the dance with the “slut”

Blake had the last word on this: “Brothels are built with the bricks of marriage”.

Sorry, getting laid while married (or in any long term relationship) actually is logistically pretty difficult. Firstly, you have to find the time off from the main relationship (and that’s difficult to cover up and maintain over time), and secondly you have to have a pretty good story for the mistress - she’s not going to enter a relationship that has no future.

Most women are very wary of men in relationships, not just for their own self esteem and to prevent pain later, but also because of respect for their ’sister’.

One night stands are also hard because few women are up for sex with a man they only just met, and the man usually exudes desperation and lack of discrimination (”I’m only out-of-town for one night, gotta find someone”)

In fact there is a whole industry (”hostessing”) built on the back of this problem in Japan where men pay *only* for companionship, not sex (yes Japan does have prostitution, but hostessing isn’t prostitution). It is much easier for men to spend a couple of hundred dollars for a couple of hours of conversation and drinks before catching the last train home, than about half that in a fruitless bar crawl trying to strike up conversations - Japan’s bars are expensive. A hostess bar is often pretty good value when you want a night on the town. (Hostessing is however a stupifyingly boring occupation, as most men don’t have good conversational skills. There are also cultural issues as Japanese men are not particularly respectful or open with women. Western customers are preferred.)

Most prostitutes will tell you that about 5% of their customers are complete a%^^les, 5% are very respectful, friendly and all-round great, the remaining 90% are just ordinary joes paying for the convenience and companionship who nonetheless treat them pretty well. It’s the first lot that most of the comments here about power are addressed to. The ones in the second group - the good ones - are the ones who will take time to pleasure the woman because they enjoy doing so, as do many in the large remainder.

Another thing to bear in mind is the pack mentality. Virtually no prostitute on earth will accept two or more clients at a time - that leads to gang rape as the boys egg each other on. And coincidentally, I was talking to a very successful lap-dancer just last night who told me she will not even approach a group of men larger than 2 because they tend to become too nasty for her. In addition, groups of men are apparently bad payers as an individual man is diminished by showing “weakness” in leaving the pack for the dance with the “slut”

Blake had the last word on this: “Brothels are built with the bricks of marriage”.

I’m sorry, but you are just wrong about this.

Men, from an evolutionary-biological perspective have a much easier time copulating with someone they have never met before and know nothing about. I’m a man, and have thought about having sex with a prostitute out of boredom or loneliness, and it never had anything to do with “power”. This is a construct that you have created in order to try to understand why men would do something which in your own mind would only be for “power”. I’m sorry, but it just isn’t the case.

All too often I see this same pattern in feminist interpretations of male behavior (usually explained as a power struggle), and it’s usually just as wrong as misogynists’ interpretations of female behavior (penis envy, etc…).”

Bah. Evolutionary biology my ass. It’s socialized into us. Women don’t go see prostitutes for reasons that have little to do with evolution. First, male prostitutes (cause most women are heterosexual) or female prostitutes who cater to women are harder to find. Also, women and men are socialized to think and feel differently about their sexuality — women are taught that they don’t have much of one, and what they do have isn’t shameful and not worth anything. With sexual expression as only a subset of behavior, women are also taught to be selfless, so that satisfying ourselves first (or sometimes at all) is just about the worst thing we could do. As buying sexual services is about as selfish as it can get, seeking a prostitute is utterly anathema to what women have been socialized to be.
That women are hardwired at birth to never seek prostitutes, and that men are — “I’m sorry, but it just isn’t the case.”

I’m sorry, but you are just wrong about this.

Men, from an evolutionary-biological perspective have a much easier time copulating with someone they have never met before and know nothing about. I’m a man, and have thought about having sex with a prostitute out of boredom or loneliness, and it never had anything to do with “power”. This is a construct that you have created in order to try to understand why men would do something which in your own mind would only be for “power”. I’m sorry, but it just isn’t the case.

All too often I see this same pattern in feminist interpretations of male behavior (usually explained as a power struggle), and it’s usually just as wrong as misogynists’ interpretations of female behavior (penis envy, etc…).