I have also seen articles of late about middle-aged, middle-class white western women doing sex tourism with handsome black men in Kenya. It would be considered extremely oppressive if the buyers were men - the prostitutes in this case (the young men) live in the hotel rooms ofthe women they are paid to sleep with, they get food and gifts from these women, but they don’t actually get paid directly in cash. That’s white western women with money doing a sex-for-acommodation exchange. How does that fit Amanda and Twisty’s narrative?

I’ve actually tried a couple of times to go the sugarmomma route - that is, barter for, rather than pay for sex but this is difficult for 2 reasons - first because attractive young men are more expensive. Although women have made strides in economic parity, men still have much more of the money.

AND most young men still don’t get the concept - they think that MY appearance is still what’s up for discussion/judgement/etc. even when I’m paying for everything.

I would prefer to have a relationship based on affection, respect etc. in addition to sexual attraction and no money/barter involved. But that just ain’t happening.

So I’m looking at my options. Amanda and the others don’t care if I never get laid again as long as I live, so they can afford to be dismissive and/or derisive of my situation.

Thanks for being sympathetic. And maybe I will try the shemale route, although I am really just interested in males… to my ever-increasing regret.

recommend you take your experiment a little further… go ahead, find that male escort (I suspect some of the gay ones are bi enough that they’d go for it)

On what basis do you assume that all male escorts are gay, except for a few bisexuals? You stated it oddly, but that’s what you seem to be saying.

In the past 7 years, I have been variously involved in many forms of prostitution that seem to quite inconveniently slip through the net of Amanda’s or Twisty’s rhetoric. I have exhausted my Amazon wish-list several times over with cam-whoring before burning out. I have paid my cellphone bills with phone sex, and occasionally still do. To meet my “clients” I cruise internet chat rooms where I witness the most diverse kinds of money-for-sex transactions. What about men who buy sex from men, Amanda? is that morally objectionable too? scornful? Or how about men who buy sex from transsexuals? Women who buy sex from transsexuals? What’s the Standard Feminist Narrative there? There’s a lot of variety, too - I would leave a more colorful comment (like I did on Feministe), but I don’t want to get typecast. Really, women are overrepresented on the streets and underrepresented anywhere else. Preoccupy yourself with the plight of street women and please leave the overarching moral argument out of this, because to some of us it sounds ridiculous and ignorant

iolight: you sound plain uninformed to me. Sheltered maybe, with your made-up statistic and your spiteful vitriol and condescending attitude (the personal reason I resorted to prostitutes instead of contenting myself with “plastic buddies” is that the only sexual contact I did miss were kisses. Go figure)

Nancy: I have no experience on male prostitutes, but yes, I share the impression that they are considered “luxury” goods. All I can recommend is you give a go to shemale escorts. I had to work very hard to let myself go and try, and it might just not be for you, but I found them the safest bet (and a lot of fun)

[yes, the young spinster said “shemale”; “pre-op transwomen” would make the assumption for them that they want to change, that they need to change, and that they think of themselves as women]

Stay strong, auntie. There is no shame in your desires, and you will find what works for you

This sort of objectification is dehumanizing someone, is an act of (non-BDSM) domination/submission, is part of the patriarchy.

Are you doing terrible damage to someone, akin to coercion and/or force of a young girl into prostitution? Likely, no. Are you still part of the problem for objectifying someone for sex? Yes.

And yet you “may find myself in your shoes one day, I will acknowledge your 0.000001% situation”

Putting aside “your 0.000001% situation” since I have no idea what you mean by that.

You say you “happens to like younger attractive men ” - aren’t you “objectifying” them for their youth and attractiveness? Why can’t you find an older, unattractive man and want to have sex with him on the basis of his charming personality?

And what empirical studies have your conducted that tell you that all male prostitutes are gay (with maybe a small percentage who are bi) ?

Namely, is a woman who wants to pay a guy for sex as bad as a man paying a woman to have sex?

I recommend you take your experiment a little further… go ahead, find that male escort (I suspect some of the gay ones are bi enough that they’d go for it), meet up, let him know what you’re looking for… maybe even pay for that sex act. At what point do you realize, hmm, actually you want to have sex with someone who is mutually into the act for something other than money?

If you get all the way there without having this feeling –without basically feeling like a creepy person– you’re objectifying someone, no matter the configuration of your genitals.

This sort of objectification is dehumanizing someone, is an act of (non-BDSM) domination/submission, is part of the patriarchy.

Are you doing terrible damage to someone, akin to coercion and/or force of a young girl into prostitution? Likely, no. Are you still part of the problem for objectifying someone for sex? Yes.

A lot of what happens on blogs are “thought experiments.” It’s when people come together and express ideas and work out the issues and angles and talk about their experiences and sometimes get a little flourish-y with the fancy words. That’s writing.

I’ve rarely seen such misplaced condescension.

And of course, one more way to refuse to address the issues I brought up.

That strikes me as a pretty astute observation, as did the rest of what you said.

I understand the confusion and reactions of people to that kind of scenario-flipping, I even sympathize, because it is truly rocking their world; but at the same time I always feel like there’s a group whose reaction to turning the tables (even only in dialogue, not in real life) will always be “OMG NO FAIR WAAAAAAAH YOU’RE CRAZY.”

How about we talk about the assholes in Congress, circuit courts, state assemblies and pulpits who are enacting their own personal agendas on our bodies ? Or is it easier to pick on a blogger ? I’d concern myself with the actual experiments before I struck out at the thought ones.

A lot of what happens on blogs are “thought experiments.” It’s when people come together and express ideas and work out the issues and angles and talk about their experiences and sometimes get a little flourish-y with the fancy words. That’s writing.

If you were actually confused, and believed that Twisty was the ruler of your particular city-state and was going to enact that law tomorrow, I apologize. I hope you feel better now.