While our state is trying to ban sex toys, the state in Sweden has started to sell them.
According to Linge Bergman, the element of popular trust in RFSU and Apoteket made the state pharmacies a good place to sell erotic toys.
“We want to have a broad perspective on health, and people would prefer to buy these items in Apoteket than online or in some other shop. We are seen as good trademarks that can guarantee quality.”
The great irony is that the Texas law has a bunch of educational and medical loopholes, but if you think about it, it’s always about health, even if that’s a secondary goal next to pleasure. It’s not just mental health, either. Frequent orgasming is good for the heart and good for the pelvic muscles, and keeping the latter strong could mean less peeing when you sneeze as you age. Maybe stores here could sell vibrators as incontinence-prevention devices?
39 Responses to “I still love Texas, but…”
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Hmmm … if they were made by IKEA, I can just imagine the names they might be tagged with. Anybody got a good map of Sverige to work with?
soooooooooooooooooo, you’re saying there should be some concern that, as a 25 year old, sexually healthy man, I find myself peeing when I sneeze?
I’ve GOT to stop ignoring these little things.
Frequent orgasming is good for the heart and good for the pelvic muscles, and keeping the latter strong could mean less peeing when you sneeze as you age. Maybe stores here could sell vibrators as incontinence-prevention devices?
Of course, that is just screaming for AbFab!
According to Google, Kegel is the name of the leading bowling lane maintenance supply company in Sweden. Nice cover, huh? You can either hide mini dildos in the holes of the bowling balls or in a hidden compartment underneath the ball in the bag…
Makes Ladies League Night more fun with all those “spares”!
So, when are they going to outlaw hands? ‘Cause they might as well, if they wanna basically outlaw masturbation.
“If god wanted us to not masturbate then he would have made our arms shorter” George Carlin
For those interested, RFSU’s web page is www.rfsu.se, and they have an English version. This is an old non-profit organisation devoted to education on sexual matters, and the ones making the stuff Apoteket will be selling.
I’m sure Swedish dildos are sleek and stylish, but budget-friendly. Although they tend to fall apart after a year of two, they’re great starter dildos for grad students and hip urban newlyweds.
If you masturbate more, when you get old you you won’t pee (as much) when you sneeze?
Hey, even a convoluted reason is a good enough reason for me. Actually, no reason at all is a good enough reason for me, too.
and, uh, Amanda …. why?
“I’m sure Swedish dildos are sleek and stylish, but budget-friendly. Although they tend to fall apart after a year of two, they’re great starter dildos for grad students and hip urban newlyweds.”
I heard they’re really good in the snow too. Lots of traction…
The somewhat brick-like shape of the older ones may have resulted in too much drag.
Why? Well, for women, orgasms contract the muscles in your pelvic area that hold the pee in. It’s exercise!
You know, back in Victorian days, they used to treat women for hysteria with pelvic massages.
This turned out to be too onorous* for all the (male) doctors, so they developed the first vibrators as chairs that would buzz.
Over the years, obviously this medical technology, like all other technology, has become more compact and efficient.
We just need to return to that old medical diagnosis, then we’d slip through all the Texas loopholes.
That means believing women get hysterical every so often just because they’re women, but that’s a price I’m willing to pay.
/snark
*boggles
Yeah, I had a feeling that benefit didn’t apply to men. If anything, we’re probably only hastening the inevitable decline of our prostate. Oh well, back to Plan B: no reason at all …
I think firefall was asking the same question I am, which is, “why do you still love Texas?” — in distinction to loving Austin, which (I am informed from all sides) is a *completely different* thing, or maybe different *planet*.
In 2006 17,034 people in the US were murdered. That’s 46 people a day. Assume that stat is flat in 2008. If the gay population is 5% of the US population as a whole, 2 gay people per day would represent a proportional murder rate for their population - 10% of the population 5 people per day. This video says 1 gay person every 8 days in 2008 is being murdered. Wake up is a very fair call from this video.
Dr T, and this relates to “marital aids” how?…
I suspect Dr T replied to the wrong thread. Even so, maybe gay people wouldn’t be targeted like this if certain heterosexuals just learned to wank not hate? If your fleshlight loves you, you might not need to whack someone to feel like a real man, ya know?
Perhaps Dr. T. should drop the copy of How To Lie With Statistics and go get a fleshlight himself?
“Perhaps Dr. T. should drop the copy of How To Lie With Statistics and go get a fleshlight himself?”
Maybe we could all chip in. He might become so contented (or obsessed) that he won’t bother to post here any more…
Okay, I got my Sweden map. Here’s some IKEA sex toy names!
Jonkoping Dildo
Lycksele Lubricant
Vasteras male toy
Assterod but plug
I’m sure there are other possibilities
But what if one becomes addicted to their dildo? Is that a new definition of “Stockholm Syndrome”?
Couldn’t we also argue that good strong pelvic muscles will be better for pushing out baybeez? They do love the baybeez, right?
and re Dr. T’s mispost, I think the thing he’s referring to meant a gay person killed every 8 days because they are gay. Gay people are of course killed in robberies and bad drug deals and domestic disputes and such just like everyone else, but there’s no statistics kept on sexual orientation when it is not relevant to the killing, so you wouldn’t know. One assumes those kinds of deaths are roughly proportional (since I didn’t get my special protective gay-armor, did you?).
not trying to derail, just couldn’t let that stand.
And yet, here in America, we’re still stuck with anti-sex, pearl-clutching morons who are terrified their kids might see a vibrator at a Spencer’s in the mall.
Now I’m picturing all of those sex toys in the utilitarian IKEA packaging, complete with the instruction sheet. Imagine the baffled IKEA guy holding a Hammer of Insatiability in one hand and the phone in the other.
Imagine the baffled IKEA guy holding a Hammer of Insatiability in one hand and the phone in the other.
He doesn’t wear any clothing already … but he does have some rather intense facial expressions.
This has possibilities.
Hammer of Insatiability
Only it will be called Röd.
They could even sell a special drawer organizer, for use with the bedroom and closet and bathroom furniture.
(Gack, I know to much. can you tell that I just did my own IKEA kitchen??
hmm, I can’t quite figure out this picture for step 3, is that a leg…? but no, that would make for 3 legs so it must be an arm…. wait, no, that’s too many arms too so it has to be….OOOHHHH! I SEE!
Actually, according to this study, it’s just the opposite.http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn3942-masturbating-may-protect-against-prostate-cancer.html
So there are likely benefits for men as well, just different ones.
Texas and Sweden pretty much represent both sides of the spectrum when it comes to western civilization, don’t they?
I am not sure I can stand sex toys with IKEA color schemes. Too post-modern.
For both the girls and the boys — but for the latter don’t forget the actual medical/prostate benefits of the frequent! ejaculation.
[NEJM..2003] LO-ve that article…such a great incentive.]
MY PEEEEEPLLLLLLE!!!!
[vibrating with pride]
“Lycksele Lubricant”
Oh great… now I’m going to be looking at my futon weird for weeks!
http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/10119584
Oh great… now I’m going to be looking at my futon weird for weeks!
Well, we’ve found what that lube was made for. If you get some of that lube, you can slide the chair around a lot easier. Its a futon. Does it have any moving parts that could use Lycksele Lubricant?
Damn. My neighbors probably think I’ve gone off the deep end, what w/ the inexplicable (to them) laughter erupting from my apartment. Damn thin walls…
If you mean across the board, not necessarily. In Sweden you can meet plenty of redneck types, who like their beer, barbecues, pick-up trucks and guns (except they think guns, instead of dildos, should be regulated by the government)
And then there are even weirder things like the Raggare.
“why do you still love Texas?”
The people are friendly, the state is a giant fossil bed from
end to end, and the ‘go your own way’ attitude is refreshing when you come from other parts of the country.
Of course I come from the San Joaquin Valley, which has a climate much like Texas, along with a population from ‘back East’ including refugees from the Lone Star state, like Grandfather Avenger, so it’s a matter of loving the ones you’re with(to paraphrase an old ’60s lyric.) as well :>)