Now that The Left, aka norbizness, has ceased blogging, I thought I would give him a guest blog platform to make the official primary endorsement of The Left.
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Five Reasons Why The Left is Endorsing Senator Barack Hussein-Jamaal Warner Obama in the Texas Democratic Primary, March 4th, and May Himself Even Vote In It.
by The Left
1. I want Obama to trigger bad flashbacks for McCain… no, not of his Vietnam War experiences, but of the dirty campaigning in South Carolina in 2000. All he needs to do is whisper “I’m your black child they were talking about!” in The Maverick’s ear right before the first debate.
2. It is going to be really boring for the apple-cheeked schoolchildren of the future to read and learn about this era if the President’s last name never varies… if you throw in the potential candidacies of George P. (Ricky Martin) Bush and Chelsea Clinton-LaBeouf beginning in 2016, we could be talking a solid 40 years of dynasty, approaching the Suhartos, Duvaliers, and Plantagenets.
3. I am hoping that Obama picks Governor Janet Napolitano from Arizona as a running mate, for several reasons: (a) it will further destabilize the Republican nominee; (b) I loved her in Concrete Blonde; and (c) they could merge into a greater entity named Obamapalitano.
4. I want to see some motherfucking dirt shoveled on Republicans in all branches of government. It began in the legislative branch in 2006 by retaking the House and Senate, it’s continuing now with the 30-or-so Republican retirements. I have the unshakeable feeling that McCain-Clinton is a coin flip, whereas McCain vs. Obama is about 20% Maverick victorious, 45% Obama barely victorious, and 35% Obama stomping a motherfucking mudhole in his ass and walking it dry. And let’s face it: McCain is the best the GOP has or will have for years and years, as sad as that sounds. Who will they run in 2012? Romney again? George “Macaca” Allen? A re-educated and re-oriented Mary Cheney-Trebek? It is to laugh!
5. In a shocking twist ending worthy of M. Night Shyamalan before his movies became unwatchable and anger-inducing, the crazy right-wing newsletters, websites and editorials were RIGHT! Obama, with my assistance, will usher in a glorious new age of Islamic dhimmitude! Oh, don’t tell me you didn’t see this coming and don’t be caliphatin’.
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Thank you, The Left. Let there be no doubt that The Left is unifted behind the global jihadist movement as represented by Barack Obama, regardless of any minor issues like an actual split in the Democratic electorate. As a value-add to this post, I give you the McCain retort to the “Yes We Can” video from the Obama campaign.
25 Responses to “The Left makes an official Leftist endorsement”
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Is that a picture of the band The Left Bank? Do I get points for knowing that?
Just walk away, Renee.
Oh, and good post!
D’oh! I mean The Left Banke.
Do I get my pre-indie baroque rock cred taken away now?
That may be my favorite video of all time….Seriously…
Obamapalitano would also be the natural name of the new pistachio and butter pecan-flavored ice cream pints by Ben & Jerry.
potential candidacies of … Chelsea Clinton-LaBeouf beginning in 2016, we could be talking a solid 40 years of dynasty, approaching the Suhartos, Duvaliers, and Plantagenets.
On the other hand, I would love to see Bill Clinton’s filling up the White House with a collection of designer pumps, a la Imelda Marcos.
Rebecca, you get to be IMS Queen of the Day.
I’ve been WAITING for someone else to make the Janet/Johnette Napolitano connection/joke! I was wondering the exact same thing.
No. 2 is my argument from now on.
Vote Obama. For the Chidren of the 22nd Century.
Children
The ticket described would be worth for no other reason than Butter Pecan Pistachio ice cream. Anyone else up for Austin Scoops this afternoon?
I say if you’re going to go for a Napolitano, why not go all out and use Johnette? And how’s about Jello Biafra as …. hmm..,.press secretary…ambassador to Cambodia?
“…they could merge into a greater entity named Obamapalitano.”
ROFL!!
Nuggets of wisdom, like Gandalf speaking to pretty ballerinas. Come and take me by the hand, we’ll fly to never never land.
You’re forgetting Santorum! He’ll be back in 2012, faster than you can say mudhole.
This post is made of FTW.
Don’t forget that we are having both a primary and a caucus on the same day. I hate for the Left to be left out…
I was getting REALLY hungry for ice cream until Santorum was mentioned. Appetite gone…
Real reasons The Left supports Obama:
They are too young to know that his feel good rhetoric about the red states joining us, and financial interests letting him remake the election system, and uniting the country while he brings republican smear tactics into the democratic party, the rhetoric is absurd and designed for inexperienced people. These are promises he won’t keep, but Hillary has only made promises she can keep. And they’re too young to have seen the spectaculer Clinton governing record, or know that the policies Obama is tweaking and calling his own were created by the Clintons when Bill was a leading intellectual in the DLC.
Hmm… Santorum icecream? Have to be chocolate caramel swirl.
Kerlyssa: German chocolate caramel swirl. With a little extra protein thrown in.
(Sorry, Louise.)
Will,
Yes. I would also say that Obama supporters lack perspective on those wonderous and leadership-laden years of the DLC.
Why do you hate centrism and America, Obama supporters?
Hard as it may be to believe, Will, not everyone who remembers the Clinton governing record considers it spectacular. And as I recall, Bill had absolutely zero coattails when it came to the downticket races, which is why the years 1994-2000 were so very, very good for Republican officeseekers. So vote Obama — for the Left, for the kids of the 22nd century, for the Left Banke, but most of all for all the little Democrats running in all the little races from coast to coast who just might become the 60 Senators and 250 Congressmen we need to begin undoing the damage of the long Bush winter.
I would say something in response to Will, except that he posted the exact same comment on Yglesias’ website in a non-responsive attempt to not-explain away HRC’s laughable explanation for losing so many goddamned states in a row, took about 22 broadsides in rebuttal, and didn’t bother saying anything further.
In any event, my point #5 stands, and enjoy Sharia law, you sap.
That does it; rainbow sherbet from now on!
Santorum made me think of “rocky road” with all of those nuts and icky marshmallow swirls, anyways…
Jello Biafra as press secretary would make my freakin decade!