It's time for some afternoon absurdity. Darrel Ng, Fred Thompson's former mouthpiece and "main point of contact for the media on all travel logistics and scheduling" for the flatlined campaign, has plenty of time on his hands these days.
I guess he felt there was an overwhelming need to punish aging martial arts expert and "actor" Chuck Norris for supporting GOP clown car occupant Mike Huckabee, the rapist/murderer-releasing, Christian Reconstructionist-supported, Man-On-Dog wannabe and former Arkansas governor. Thus we have Boycott Chuck Norris.com.
I’m starting a boycott of Chuck Norris because he has endorsed a presidential candidate and supports ideas that are far out of the mainstream. Specifically:
- He’s endorsed a candidate who says that he does not believe in evolution.
- He’s endorsed a candidate who called for the isolation of AIDS patients – long after the Centers for Disease Control determined that the virus was not spread by casual contact. Even this year, the candidate declined to recant those views.
I want you to join me in boycotting all of the products that Chuck Norris endorses and some of the national companies that run advertisements on the show in which he starred and currently rerunning on the USA cable network, Walker, Texas Ranger. I also ask that you tell these companies why you are boycotting them. (See list to the right with contact information and post below for a sample e-mail.)
Among the companies expected to feel a pinch from this pee-wee boycott: KFC, Payless ShoeSource, Nutrisystem, Tylenol, and Geico. Ng also calls for folks looking to get into shape to refrain from ordering up the Norris-endorsed Total Gym when the infomercial comes on.
16 Responses to “Thompson ex-spokesman launches ‘Boycott Chuck Norris’ web site”
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Pffft… Snerk…
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAAaaaaaaa!
OMFG… no fucking introspection on these numbskulls at all.
Fool! Nothing you do can hurt Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris’ gym, I’ve been told, is a waste of money. A friend came over and saw my roomate’s Bowflex POS and tried it out. Said it was just as bad as the Chuck Norris one his parents had bought. I can’t speak for Norris’ “Total Gym,” but I have tried the Bowflex, and its horrible. The weight distribution changes as you pull/push the bars, and made getting a legitimate workout for any of the exercises I tried impossible.
Best bet is still some cheap freeweights, or a membership at the YMCA - here at least, they are cheaper than all other gyms.
Plus, Chuck Norris is only cool because of the Chuck Norris Facts. Walker, Texas Ranger was like Power Rangers for adults…..
never forget.
Chuck Norris doesn’t submit blogs. He makes blogs submit to him.
I’m sure Norris is going to lose up to 10 seconds of sleep over this.
Here’s my alternative suggestion: Boycott all companies that spend a good deal of money on famous people advertising contracts. (Not that I’d really do that- to many of those have products I find too useful.)
How about I ignore his endorsements and advertisers because professionally he’s a very bad actor, politically he’s a right-wing crank, and personally he’s an unpleasant jerk?
(I realize that for obvious reasons Thompson’s guy can’t advocate a boycott on those grounds, but they work for me….)
If I boycotted Chuck Norris, it would be an empty gesture. I can’t stand to look at him or see him “act” long enough to watch anything of his.
I will be joining this boycott! But I don’t really mean it. It’s sort of like my Coors boycott. I like beer I can taste. I never really got to the Coors family right wing politics.
I can get better fried chicken cheaper at my local supermarket on the rare occasision I crave it - no KFC. For some strange reason I prefer to wear shoes that fit - No Payless. I’m congenitally thin, so I’m immune to diet fads - no Nutrisystem. Tylenol’s hard on the liver and ibuprofen doesn’t upset my tummy - no Tylenol. I get a better deal on car insurance elsewhere (although I do like the Geico Gecko) - no Geico.
I’ll also be boycotting Chuck Norris because he makes Pauly Shore seem talented.
I should also mention that I’ve never voted for a Republican in my life and do not let celebrities (hot or has-been) influence my vote. That’s the way I roll.
Great. You just know most of the reichwingers will assume (between the concept of the boycott itself, not to mention the likely non-White name of its progenitor, let alone the professed reason that he supported someone who “doesn’t believe in evolution” and “called for the isolatoin fo AIDS patients” — and since when are either of those a problem for wingnuts?) that this is a leftwing device, and further enrage them at us (wait — if you’re already at 11, can you be further enraged?).
Say, you don’t suppose…
Not only that, but Huckabee just said at a speech in AL–jokingly I’m sure, but then again one can only be so hopeful about these things–that Norris is his nominee for both Secretary of Defense/Director of Homeland Security.
Chuck Norris can wear white after Labor Day.
Fool! Nothing you do can hurt Chuck Norris.
Not quite true:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbni4eNF4uM
The word “expert” after the phrase “martial arts” should also be in quotes when applied to Chuck Norris. He’s just not that good. Decent enough for movies/TV, but hardly expert.
What the hell was Huckabee thinking when he said that it might be a good odea to isolate AIDS patients? Didn’t he get Koop’s mass mailing back in the late 80s? Every home address in the US got a mailing from the Surgeon General’s Office explaining as much as was known about HIV at that time. This included he fact that there was no chance of getting HIV from casual contact. Every TV and radio station said that Koop’s report was coming out. How could Huckabee have mssed it?
KFC, Payless ShoeSource, Nutrisystem, Tylenol, and Geico
He forgot Mike Huckabee in that list. But I never use those products, so I guess I’m incidentally supporting the Chuck Norris boycott.
KFC? Krappy Fatty Chicken? No thanks. Payless ShoeSource? I don’t even know what that is? Nutrisystem? I had a friend who went on that Nutrisystem diet a few years ago. It’s apparently designed to make you fart. And not those noisy but otherwise harmless farts, either. I’m talking about those, “Give me a knife so I can hack off my nose” farts. Tylenol? If I don’t listen to Republican politicians, I don’t get headaches. Geico? I have NJM. I’ll leave it to other Jerseyites to fill you in on the superiority of NJM to Geico.
Funny, but if Thompson could have done better than to give a bunch of Inside the Beltway pundidiots wood that they didn’t know what to do with, he’d have had a chance at the Republican nomination and Ng wouldn’t be attention-whoring with stupid calls for a boycott of Chuck Frickin’ Norris, of all irrelevant people.