As for jobs at McDonald’s, the point is that you shouldn’t have to spend your early years slaving over a grease pit (frostbitten construction site, etc.) on crazy overtime to support a child because you has sex when you were 18. My people - a lot of them - screwed up their lives through their sexual choices. I feel lucky to have escaped a similar fate. It angers me to think that someone would take your advice and screw up her or his life. You are pro-choice, right?

I am sorely tempted to take your bait Amanda, as you seem to be accusing me of bad faith, “hypocrisy” here. I don’t impugn your motives, I don’t think you are TRYING to promote the scourges of teen pregnancy and STIs that afflict the city I live near. You are trying to help. I question the effectiveness of your approach. But again, not discussing my first sexual experience with your widespread readership for the same reason you aren’t discussing your last one.

Ms. Kate, you and I are closer in viewpoint, I think.

In fact, medication typically does the exact opposite– it’s supposed to ensure that you don’t care, so that you don’t get distracted with your depression weighing you down.

For Doug, there are no simple answers. Acting differently would require a substantial inner change that isn’t going to come out of a few medical prescriptions or counseling sessions.

Doug S, i think sleeping with teenagers would only increase your problems, so i recommend NOT doing that, regardless if you are attracted to them or not. please take care of yourself before you drag kids into your bed.

Um, duh?

Doug S, also, was wondering if you tried any medication? after finding the right one for me, it has improved my life SO MUCH.

Medication has helped, for a certain value of “help” - it makes me feel better and perhaps has made me more compliant, but it doesn’t make me care. I really only graduated high school and college because my parents demanded that I do so.

Doug, are you sure you don’t have a thyroid problem? A close friend of mine was once in your almost exact situation - no motivation, tired all the time, feeling “lazy”, depression - and it turned out to be his thyroid.

I’ve had lots of blood tests, and apparently my thyroid hormones are normal.

My “laziness” was somewhat deliberately constructed. I generally won’t do unpleasant things now in order to achieve a future reward. Thinking about my future has been the most reliable way to make myself feel miserable, so I’ve trained myself to only focus on the present. At times, I’ve found it fairly easy to achieve happiness in the present by distracting myself through books, video games, or the Internet. As my parents clearly care much more about my long-term prospects than I do, it’s lead to many conflicts.

Recently, though, my problems seem to have shifted from “there’s this big nasty thing, called school, that’s keeping me from doing what I really want to do” to “Now that nobody’s using threats to force me to do things, I no longer know what it is I wanted the free time to do in the first place.”

I didn’t have sex until I was 19, and that was an appropriate choice for me. Having sex earlier would not have made me better prepared for adult relationships because I wasn’t ready for sex.

So…I think it’s fine and healthy for many teenagers to have sex, and it’s fine and healthy for others not to, and I don’t think there should be pressure or value placed on either.

You may be set for now, but you probably aren’t set forever. At some point, something will need to change. I hope your both your sake and your family’s sake it isn’t your very existance!

Best of luck, whatever you may end up doing.

Doug, are you sure you don’t have a thyroid problem? A close friend of mine was once in your almost exact situation - no motivation, tired all the time, feeling “lazy”, depression - and it turned out to be his thyroid.

i’ve had casual relationships, and one night stands, and serious relationships, and i do have to agree, that the sex is always better with love, at least for me. i gave up on one night stands because i have never reached an orgasm a single time w/ them. (and i get orgasms VERY easily…) nowadays, if i’m not in a serious relationship but am horny, i won’t do one night stands, but will casually date someone and get to know them a bit (like 2 or 3 dates) to make sure they aren’t assholes and that has worked out very well for me.

as for therapy, if you think of it as PUNISHMENT, it’s going to be difficult for it to help you. try to think of it as HELP, since you can’t change yourself all on your own.