This:
[Via Atrios.]A Utah retailer of family-friendly tapes and DVDs - Hollywood films with the “dirty parts” cut out of them - has been arrested for trading sex with two 14-year-old girls.
Orem police say Flix Club owner Daniel Dean Thompson, 31, and Issac Lifferth, 24, were booked into the Utah County jail on charges of sexual abuse and unlawful sexual activity with a 14-year-old.
and that:
The Federal Communications Commission has proposed a $1.4 million fine against 52 ABC Television Network stations over a 2003 broadcast of cop drama NYPD Blue.
The fine is for a scene where a boy surprises a woman as she prepares to take a shower. The scene depicted “multiple, close-up views” of the woman’s “nude buttocks” according to an agency order issued late Friday.
Nope. No relation at all.
The FCC story is particularly obnoxious both because, as Nezua points out,
…nevermind wars of aggression and greed and the rape of the constitution and secret prisons and water torture. Our children can see this and know we approve and won’t fight it because IMPEACHMENT IS OFF THE TABLE or something, but show me your tits and I’ma sue you blind.
but also because, if I’m not mistaken, we’re still waiting for the first fine for an NYPD Blue male ass. And you couldn’t go five minutes in the first few seasons without seeing one of those.
23 Responses to “Two Stories Which Are Entirely Unrelated to Each Other”
Leave a comment
Line and paragraph breaks automatic, e-mail address never displayed, HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>
Unless I imagined it, I remember seeing Dennis Franz’s ass on NYPD Blue.
Otherwise, I’m Chris Hansen, please have a seat.
You certainly did, Sirk. As well as everyone else’s, I believe literally.
Oh, you said “waiting for the first fine”, I misread that as “first male ass”.
(I was starting to wonder why I would have imagined Dennis Franz’s ass and why.)
I have a hypothesis that Dennis Franz’s ass has the ability to hypnotize the easily offended long enough that they forget to write the FCC complaint people.
Remember, it’s only a hypothesis and has yet to be tested.
trading sex with
What an interesting way for a reputable news source to describe statutory rape.
Lessee:
1992: Bill Clinton elected. Age of Degenerate Liberalism starts
1993: NYPD debuts. Male ass noticable.
1996: Age of Degenerate Liberalism continues.
1998: Sex and the City starts. This, as I understand it, involves sex. And a city,
1998: Will and Grace starts. This is not a look at Christian theological values.
1998: Audience figures for Fox start to rise
2000: Bush elected. Age of Moral Values begins
2001: Terrorist threat (Type A) identified. Liberal Degeneratism linked with Muslim terrorists.
2004: Sex and the City leaves television
2004: Will and Grace starts to slip in ratings. Still not about Christian theology.
2004: Terrorist threat (Type B) identified. Liberal Degeneratism linked with Janet Jackson’s nipple.
2004: Age of Moral Values continues.
2005: NYPD Blue ceases, although deadender conflict continues in syndication.
2006: Will and Grace ceases.
2007: The 1/2 Hour News Hour starts
2007: 1/2 Hour News Hour ceases, unaccountably.
2008: NYPD Blue under attack for exposing female ass 5 years ago.
A woman’s buttocks, according to the FCC, are both sexual and excretory organs. A man’s buttocks, apparently, are neither. Good thing no one ever runs pictures of women in bikini bottoms. (There’s probably something really interesting to be said about a culture in which seeing naked men from behind is “decent” but seeing naked women from behind is “indecent” at the same time that seeing full frontal naked women is almost always R, but seeing full frontal naked men is typically NC-17.)
In that context it makes perfect sense that a couple of guys whose business involves selling confusion about appropriate limits of sexual expression should themselves be confused. In for a penny…
I’m totally owed pain and suffering damages for some of the male asses on NYPD Blue. Correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t the show come with a big warning at the beginning about mature themes, violence, and partial nudity? Did people think they were kidding or something?
I made a dangerous 4 hour drive with my ass today to pick up dog food. Thankfully no one was hurt by my excreting ass muscles.
I journaled my dangerous journey.
My evil ass is still attached to my backside. I was dismayed to see a car accident on my trip. No, No I do not think anyone spotted me driving with my ass. T’was not my ass that caused the accident. It had already occurred when I came upon them.
Normally I would have attributed these accidents to silly fools driving too fast and hitting ice, but no. Now that I have learned that woman asses excrete icky excretions that cause terrible things to happen, I knew somewhere, somehow an uninformed woman’s ass caused the accidents. The cop and the man driver actually thought it was the driver’s fault. They should pay attention to the Kaiser Family Foundation and the FCC.
In my concern to uphold the FCC and Kaiser Family Foundation march to save the nation from being infected by woman ass, I did think about getting out of the HHR and spanking my own ass in a very public and humiliating way. Right in front of the cop. I figured that the humiliation and mortification my ass would suffer would teach it not excrete things and not turn itself into a sex organ.
Then I thought of how the cops have guns and tasers. The idea of a bullet in my ass or 50,000 volts shooting thought it would be a waste of taxpayers monies if I ended up in the hospital for having such a treacherous devious ass.
I decided to beat my own ass later.
No I did not go looking for a steel butt plate. My dastardly woman belly betrayed my desire to seal and hide my ass forevah by wanting a ham and swiss sandwich and a salad.
That’s because when TV Land sees a male butt, the viewers are either a) Godly heterosexual men, who get no excitement out of seeing their own hindquarters, or b) Godly heterosexual women, who get no excitement out of seeing a strange guy’s buttocks; they get their thrills from wedding rings and the male owners of said wedding rings, just like it says in Genesis*, or c) ungodly gay men, who don’t exist, because the Christian right says so.
Whereas when TV Land sees a femal butt, the viewers are either a) Godly Christian men, who are being corrupted by sexually desiring a strange woman, or b) Godly Christian women, who are being corrupted by desiring to be that strange woman, or c) ungodly lesbians, who don’t exist, because the Christian right says so.
See? It’s all perfectly normal.
*Just don’t tell the women who lined up to see Emilio Estevez flash the cam in “Young Guns Two”, or Patrick Swayze’s wake up nude scene in “Road House”, etc.
“A woman’s buttocks, according to the FCC, are both sexual and excretory organs. A man’s buttocks, apparently, are neither.”
Wow. I’ve been using mine the wrong way for a long time…
There is something twisted about people from backwards underpopulated states like Utah. We get excited when ANY national story features something Utahn, no matter how negative.
Hollywood films with the “dirty parts” cut out of them - has been arrested for trading sex with two 14-year-old girls.
-See, if they had just left the dirty parts *in* the movies, they wouldn’t have had to try it in real life.
Unless, of course, they saw that woman’s ass on TV.
Me, I suffered from hysterical blindness when I saw Harvey Keitel’s full frontal view in “The Piano”, and was therefore unable to see Dennis Franz’s ass.
Ever.
Do recall Hillary’s forays into video game hate last year. Violence in video games was evil, voting for raping and murdering of real people overseas, kosher. Puritans care about the appearance of evil, but support the doing of evil.
The connection? 14-year-olds and $1.4M. Answer: the numbers one and four. And if you put a three in front, you have Pi.
Mmmmmm, pi.
The other connection? How fucking glad I am that the F Fucking C Cocksucking C doesn’t have any control over the Internet. I’d rather be recorded skull-raping an anteater than cede any more control to those shit-eating, monkey-fellating, mollusk-cunnilinguising deviants who assess such nonsense as the socio-contextual meanings of men’s and women’s asses. And now I think I have to go to church.
Seriously, what is with the “trading sex?” WTF is wrong with CBS? I’ve looked at other reports and no one else is using that phrase. It’s not from the AP.
ABC’s lawyers argued that a woman’s buttocks are not a sexual organ. It would appear that the ABC lawyers have a rudimentary understanding of human biology. The FCC said “Au contraire, her ass is totally a sexual organ,” and leveled a fine.
I’m sitting on my sexual organ right now. It’s hawt.
I keep wanting to make an American “fanny” vs. English “fanny” joke but I can’t quite figure out how to phrase it.
But a woman’s body imply sex the way a man’s body don’t, because that’s what Eve was made for? (That whole story was illogical BTW, because if there was never supposed to be a woman, why would there be a man? What would the penis and sperms exist for?)
I’m so glad I live in Canada, I’m so glad I live in Canada, it’s not good but it’s not as bad…
Everyone who thinks Dennis Franz’s ass is a sexual organ, raise their hands.
I saw an ass on Law & Order once. He was playing the DA . . .
The fine is for a scene where a boy surprises a woman as she prepares to take a shower.
cf Galaxy Express 999