On the black hair front, I wish there were a glamorous African-American woman out there who treated her hair the way Carl Reiner used to treat his toupee — strictly as an accessory. Sometimes he’d wear it, sometimes he wouldn’t, and he basically dared people to comment on it. Sometimes he’d even doff it like a hat when he took a bow.

I know, I’m dreaming if I think that could happen in our society with our media. But a girl can dream, can’t she?

Nothing else to add.

EH? I think the issue is the guy, not the hair. I don’t know what his dealie was about touching them, there’s nothing mysterious about it — it’s just hair. As for wrapping it up at night, if his locs were really long or heavy, he may have done that to reduce the chances of them breaking at the scalp. Mine are shoulder length and I just put them in a pony tail at night, or if I want them to curl the next day, spritz them, separate them into groups of 4 or 5, twist those together and put a bandanna on. Undo them the next day and off I go.

Thanks for clearing that up for me. He gave me the impression that i would seriously mess up his dreads if i touched them. His hair was just past his collar and always wrapped it up the way Lucy(I Love Lucy)would when doing heavy housework, before going to bed. He instilled a fear in me of dating guys with dreads.

Tlazolteotl, I agree about your idea of a gorgeous head of black hair, I have always LOVED the look of the natural 70’s afro! And I was thinking about this woman here where I work, and the first time I saw her: She’s very tall and was wearing some tall shoes on top of that, bright clothes and this big beautiful afro, and I was just stunned by how GORGEOUS she looked — so bold and powerful, a downright Amazon! Wow! and I was thinking about that when I read Serena’s comment:

but seriously, why should black people’s hair even *be able* to intimidate white people?

and I consider that comment in light of the words that pop into my head when I describe my co-worker’s look: bold, proud, powerful…. well, serena, there’s your answer right there.

I witnessed the hassle and pain of removing the extions once in preperation for a new set, and I was saddened by how damaged the natural hair was. I expect my future children to have pretty kinky hair like their Nigerian dad, and I have vowed not to do that to their hair.

As a side note, I wish more women would be happy with the hair they have. I have finally accepted my straight, no volume hair for what it is, and it has made all the difference in how much money and time I spend on it.

Not only nutty, but kind of hilarious if you starting thinking about hair-fu as a martial art.

i think Donna Edwards is a good candidate, but seriously, why should black people’s hair even *be able* to intimidate white people? think about that: someone has the right to react with fear and anger to the hair that grows out of your head– regardless of what you do with it, they reserve that right? that’s nutty. it smacks of a sense of ownership over other people’s bodies, and the fact that the fear-and-anger response is tempered only by looking “sexy” really says what that sense of ownership is for.

On the other hand, does it still suck feeling pressured to see your natural hair as unacceptable/ugly/’inappropriate’? Also, absolutely.”

I agree. I have dark, long, curly-hair and the first person who ever helped me style it was a black woman because the straight-haired (white) hair stylists at the salon took one look at it and freaked and immediately wanted to straighten it.

While I don’t experience racism, all of the slurs that have been directed at me and my hair were all racialized (”afro puff”, “kinky”, etc). While I still maintain my white privilege, the white people around me are making racist comments about my hair because they associate it with something they don’t approve of = black women’s hair or “ethnic hair”. After all they said to me I shudder to think what they say to WOC with kinky hair, locs, etc. I could talk all day on how I’m perceived simply because I have dark, curly hair.

Those stupid kiosks at the mall with straightening products they try to push on you? Wow, do I love telling those people to shove it.