When it’s been a rough day, you have to turn to a little loony levity for the evening…
Wow. You know the Bush economy is weak when sad sacks like this feel the need to steal sexual aids. < /snark >
Jose A. Sandoval, 26, led detectives to spots where he had stashed the dolls and other items he allegedly took from Naughty Novelties, 6011 Highway 51, according to a criminal complaint filed Monday in Dane County Circuit Court.Can you think of any fundies who might like to receive “Linn” under the Christmas tree? For research, of course.Sandoval was charged with burglary for allegedly taking such things as sex dolls, thong underwear and lotion in the Nov. 10 break-in, according to the complaint. Naughty Novelties co-owner Roger Hellenbrand told police, however, that none of the money in the store had been touched.
Using surveillance video from the shop, Dane County Sheriff’s Office detectives were able to see a large man get out of a distinctive-looking General Motors car, smash through a front door, grab items from the shop and drive off.
…Among the items that were found was a Linn Thomas talking love doll, priced at $269.99, which is shaped to resemble the porn star of the same name. According to one review by an Internet retailer, the 5-foot-3-inch doll vibrates and blurts out recorded encouragements to its user.
11 Responses to “Wisconsin: smash and grab of blow-up dolls”
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That would be the kind of burglary to happen in Madison.
Considering he left the cash alone, I wonder if he stole the things because he was too embarrassed to buy them? And now this is so much more embarrassing — instead of mumbling his way through a purchase, he gets to explain himself in court. The stupid is burning, but I feel kind of sorry for the idiot.
Fundies would be more interested in a Zac Efron (sp?) doll…
Nah, the fundies need International Mr. Leather videos more than they need blow-up facsimiles of women.
Except that an organized mass mailing campaign of sexual aids sent anonymously to prominent (and not-so-prominent) fundagelicals would be more of a gift for us than it would be for them, at least when it comes to entertainment value.
It’d probably give a new layer of meaning to the phrase “gag gift,” though.
…but were the thongs for the doll, or for him?
//inquireing minds want to know.
I think the problem may have been simply that the store was closed and poor Jose just couldn’t control himself any longer. Another article about the break-in did report that Jose was drunk at the time.
Are those things illegal in Alabama, or is it just vibrators?
So to destroy these terribly dangerous confiscated items, are they going to blow up the blow ups?
23-19! We have a 23-19!!!
“the 5-foot-3-inch doll vibrates and blurts out recorded encouragements to its user.”
‘cause when you’re spanking the vinyl, you really need a recorded message urging you over the goal line.
So did the doll ask for it by displaying itself in the store window, or did the owner ask for it?