Posted by Amanda Marcotte December 3, 2007 in Fun stuff, Images
Since the tradition started here, we shall join the pile-on. The original baffling stinker of non-humor:
My remake:
Today’s is nearly as bad:
So I recaptioned that one as well:
Leave yours in comments, either by actually doing the photoshop and linking the image or doing the luddite recaptioning, which is to type out the dialogue.
37 Responses to “Help Chris Muir Find Teh Funny “My Boobies!” Edition”
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The crime is not that I rebelled.
Palm tree shadows are a metaphor for gout.
Well a very small kudos to Muir for showing a proper hold for twins nursing, though in real life her hair would not be done and she would be gasping for water (you get dehydrated super fast when nursing) instead of making lame quips. Probably she would also be snarling about how much her ass hurts after labor, and would someone fix her a damn sandwich already?!
But the fetishy creepiness of Muir’s treatment of his female characters (the sound effects are just…ew) overwhelms his brief moment of accuracy. Gack.
Yes, I think she needs to say “Shut-up and bring me more ice!” somewhere in there.
Is anyone else creeped out by the fact that Muir can’t draw an adult woman in a way that doesn’t make it look like her spine is broken, but he’s pretty much nailed the “proper hold for twins nursing,” which quite frankly is not exactly common knowledge.
Basic anatomy = not so much; boobies, sucking thereof, = all over it, baby!
I read “I gotta say our girls are cute” and am unclear as to whether or not he’s talking about the babies or her breasts. (Particularly in conjunction with the thup, thup, thup in the previous strip.) It makes it look like he watches her breastfeed so he can masturbate.
Thank god Day by Day didn’t win this award.
You’d be doing yourself a favor if you took the man’s advice, btw, and checked out XKCD, which did win.
I thought I’d see for myself before voting and I looked at both comics. With “Day by Day” my reaction was invariably “OK, I see that there is something that might charitably be called a joke here, but it’s nowhere near good enough to make me laugh out loud or even smile. And if he has to beat us over the head with his politics, can he at least make points that haven’t been made a krillion times before? Al Gore travels in airplanes? My god, I’m shocked, for nobody on the right had ever thought to point that out before you did, Chris!”
Then I got to this one:
“Hillary left her cat ‘Socks’ to her secretary when she left the White House. Can you believe some make an issue of that?!?”
“Skye-it’s all about image. Maybe when she’s President, Hillary could get ‘Socks’ on her new national health plan.”
“That would fix her image?”
“No, but under that plan, we’ll all be eating cat food anyway.”
Now that…is just stupid. It doesn’t even make sense. Kinda like “Good timing. I hear Santa’s got a list.” If there were a smiley for rolling my eyes or retching, I would be using it here (indeed, there is no emoticon for what I’m feeling).
Just goes to show that writing’s far more important than art; XKCD isn’t much more than stick figures, but the dialogue and the concepts were LOL funny for me. The art is the only good part of Day by Day, and I doubt anybody here would disagree when I say that’s not enough by itself.
It’s been a long time, so long that my Photoshop is broken. However, there’s always the standby MS Paint… so with that caveat, I present Total Recall II (click on ‘all sizes’ to read the tiny, pathetic text).
Writing really changes how the art works, too. In the second set of comics, in the first original one, his looking away is a badly rendered attempt at capturing some sort of patriarchal pride. It hardly works; shouldn’t the man swelling with his awesome penile powers of life and death look at his female property (wife and daughters) with a sweetly condescending smirk?
But in the second version (mine), it makes more sense. He’s looking away. He can’t bear to look at his wife. He thought he knew her, but no, it can’t be. How could he have married a woman who pushes heteronormativity on her own children? While they’re still at the breast, no less? The picture is coherent now. His expression is clearly one of shame and confusion.
1a) Hang on a sec, babe. Watching my spawn suck the life out of your boobies has left me with the need to rub one out.
1b) You asshole! You can’t bring yourself to touch me since I gave birth, but THIS turns you on?
1c) Since I gave birth, babe. Since I gave birth.
)Don’t think my murderous rage is the result of partum depression….
Misread the title. Thought it was “help Muir find teh Boobies”, b/c god knows his knowledge of anatomy is lacking.
And while he does have the double football hold down, I still couldn’t figure out they were babies until the 2nd frame
norbiz was funnier than anything I can come up with tonite.
I don’t get the first one. Like, really really don’t get it. The second one is unfunny, but I can see how if one bought into certain idiotic assumptions one might find it funny, but the first one? The only explanation is that it was ghost written by someone with only a marginal grasp of English.
Sad to say, “I hear Santa’s got a list” is far and away Muir’s funniest punch line.
The artist does do some rather decent landscapes sometimes; see “Beliefs” (#154). I think the stick figures work weirdly well for the kind of jokes he does, though; maybe that’s why he keeps them. (It’s more likely laziness.) In the sense that being pinched on the nose is better than being kicked in the balls, the art in “Day by Day” is good, I suppose. But there’s some really good art in webcomics; see Chris Baldwin’s now-defunct “Bruno”. The art in “Girl Genius” is at least competent and sometimes quite good; “Perry Bible Fellowship” is very well drawn, despite being unrealistic. “Penny Arcade”’s art is about as stylized as “Day by Day”’s, and it’s actully good.It’s not actually impossible to have well-drawn right-wing comics; “Cox and Forkum” had excellent art tied to nauseating content.
By gum you’re right; that’s not bad-looking at all! I also laughed at the last line in that particular strip.
Anyway, not being a connoisseur of webcomics I will defer to your superior knowledge here (I’ve read Penny Arcade and Flintlocke’s Guide to Azeroth on Gamespy, but that’s about it.)
What I like about xkcd is that the author is a good writer and uses the comic form effectively despite not haviing highly detailed drawings of people- and because of his talent elsewhere, he doesn’t need to. You could almost say it works better for what he does that he draws stick figures because we focus less on the who the characters are themselves and more on readinig our own lives and personalities into the characters.
Unlike, say, Mallard fillmore where the author can draw passably decent humanoids but rarely ever varies the format-it’s three panels with a person, duck, or building talking.
Bein’ as it’s Christmas and all, a reference to the Slaughter of the Innocents, as any Christian Bible-reader should know, is much more appropriate than one to Santa’s list. I mean, wiping out all male babies in a fit of jealousy fits right in, doesn’t it?
Maybe his expression is reflective of his deep disappointment- HIS manly loins produced only girlz and not beloved SONZ???
(slight bit of projecting- my father actually made a long-standing family “joke” about how disappointed he was when both of his children were born, even asking the nurse to “go back in and check again” when my younger sister was born)
grendelkhan:
“At least competent”? Are we talking about the same comic?
If that only qualifies as “competent” in comic art, I’d love to see an example of “superior”.
There is plenty of webcomic goodness. Just not from Muir
Ok, my reads:
Penny & Aggie (currently on vacation, check archives) has become something of a teen-angst guilty pleasure.
Scary Go Round once I got used to the style.
Daily Dinosaur Comics, life, death and quantum physics in the same six panels, week after week after week. Sometimes lame, sometimes hilarious.
The Book of Biff is the best one-panel I’ve seen.
Heh, I like I Girl Genius even if the artwork is kinda…flat. But, it is fairly obvious that the artist is getting better.
My top 3:
Scary-go-Round
Diesel Sweeties
Cyanide and Happiness
I used to read Questionable Content religiously, but the plot really isn’t going anywhere, and even when it does develop the gender dynamics (which are the point of the comic) are not very believable. An alcoholic ex-porn star dating a robot who has no problem with any of her faults is more believable to me than a Nice Guy who would pursue an emotionally unavailable woman only to get over it with absolutely no bitterness and then maintain a completely platonic friendship as her roommate. It would be great if that happened, but it’s a fantasy, man!
Oh, and let’s not forget Basic Instructions!
Louise — Muir made them girls for a reason, and it’s the same reason he has an African American in his strips spouting nutting rightwing racist ideology.
Hehe, I wouldn’t be surprised. Now all that’s needed to complete this little tableau is a Log Cabin Republican I guess.
If it’s okay to briefly go OT, that’s a big reason I’m not religious. I’m thinking “even if there is a God, why would I want to worship him after he did things like that?” I’m also guessing that everybody here appreciates the irony of the pro-lifers worshipping a being with that kind of baby blood on its hands.
Um, the Slaughter of the Innocent is Herod’s fault, not God’s (though you could argue that it is technically God’s fault). Not that there isn’t any other God mandated slaughters in the Bible, but that isn’t one of them.
Oh, sorry. I thought you meant one of the plagues he inflicted upon Egypt, where he killed all the firstborn babies.
I mean I thought that’s what idlemind meant.
I dunno…I’m nursing a three-month old, and “thup thup” is about right — although an occasional snort and grunt is heard. As well as the obligatory, “While I’m taking in at the upper end, I’m making room on my digestive tract at the other” pooooot noise.
Which is what I equate Muir’s cartoons to.
Well, the story is that Herod, fearful that the prophesied birth of Jesus was a threat to his power, had all male children of a certain aged killed. Kind of like the goateed fellow in Chris Muir’s “comic” who fears loss of control over his girl-children in competition with their male peers.
Ok, my luddite version:
Panel 1:
He: How are you feeling, my queen?
She: Pretty thirsty. Can you bring me some water?
Panel 2:
He: No can do, my fertility goddess. I’m busy blogging. I’ve got to tell the world how proud I am that my manly loins produced twins. Can’t you get it yourself?
She: Let me explain something about the post-partum period to you. Women who have just given birth go through huge hormone fluctuations, larger than men dream of even in the worst throws of puberty. This leads to (among other things) moodiness and a temporary loss of sense of humor.
Panel 3:
He: Your point, my lovely little incubator?
She: Get me some water and can the dumb pseudo-compliments if you want to maintain your ability to sire another kid some day.
Has he improved then? Last time I read through the archives, the strips where I could conceivably see a weak joke if I agreed with the politics were in the minority. Most of them just left me baffled.
The fact that in the poll it beat Sluggy, PA, PvP and Girl Genius, and even the ones I’d never heard of, left me appalled.
The thing that bugs me the most about the first comic is that Muir has the woman make the ‘Dairy Queen’ crack, and then has her threaten to punish the man for it. I mean, WTF. Yes, yes, I know women are supposed to be senselessly bitchy and bite their husbands’ heads off for the slightest misstep (at least in Chris Muir’s world), but geez.
Amanda’s lesbians made me LOL, though.
yes yes, and PvP has an Eisner.
what a crime against humanity THAT little factoid is.
still, as of late, my resentment toward Chris Muir has subsided. Because I’m spent much, much more time hating Chris Buckley of Ctrl+Alt+Del, and that goddamn fratboy moron from Shredded Moose.
there really isn’t anyone in comics, at all, that I can think of who is more of a sexist, racist moron than the guy from Shredded Moose.
anyway, in terms of GOOD webcomics, Perry Bible Fellowship is pretty much the end-all be-all, and it’s lack of mention here is disturbing.
The Foglios of Girl Genius also used to(?) produce “Xenophile”, which was, uhhhhh, s.f./fantasy sex farce comedy…. or something. Anyway, made me laugh.
However, I take exception to the idea that the art in GG is flat.
Sad to say, “I hear Santa’s got a list” is far and away Muir’s funniest punch line.
I’d say the “bad boy” thing was the real punch line, with the Santa crack being more a denouemont.
Apparently Sam is half Japanese?