Jessica found this dipshit Michael Smerconish praising the word “vajayjay” and confirming to me my initial discomfort with the word was right on the nose. His reasons to think it’s such a marvelous word? It pisses off feminists and coddles the supposedly universal male fear of the dreaded vagina.* Jessica points out that Smerconish is beating the hell out of the strawfeminist.
But the Times also shed light on controversy in certain quarters. It seems like Eve Ensler and Gloria Steinem are unenthused about adding “vajayjay” to the lexicon. And a Manhattan OB/GYN was actually quoted as saying the word is a step backward.
After hours of reflection, and in consultation with my man friends, I think I have it figured out.
Pardon my directness, but I refuse to beat around the bush. The feminists, it seems, have a proprietary interest in female genitalia.
I do admire his straightforward attitude about it: The problem with feminists is that they think that vaginas belong to women, when everyone knows that the proprietary interest in vaginas is all men’s, and we have a history of violence and oppression to back that up. Feeling lucky, punkettes?
No matter what you call it, many feminists don’t want guys attracted to it. If it were up to them, there’d be an image at www.dictionary.com with a sign next to “vagina” reading “No men allowed.”
This is why I think they like the status quo. Vagina is a tough word that refuses to roll easily off the tongue. It has such a sense of taboo that nobody feels totally comfortable talking about it - not even women, but especially men. So use of the word remains almost exclusively to the feminists.
As Jessica notes, he can’t actually find a feminist who says that she wants vaginas to be stolen away from male view, though admittedly we do want to steal them away from male ownership, which appears to be Smerconish’s real issue here. Most feminists are perfectly fine with men admiring, enjoying, touching, whatever, so long as the woman attached is enjoying it, but I guess unless men get to have proprietary interests, Smerconish is going to whine that feminists are big meanies.
Ugh, I just shuddered. But it gets worse!
I can’t quite put my finger on it, but it seems that vajayjay is different.
Probably because you’re a weiner.
Unlike the starkly clinical vagina, I see a vajayjay as a happy and inviting place, with a warm and fuzzy connotation. Vajayjay says “hello . . . welcome” and “open for business.” “Vagina” screams textbook. “Vajayjay” says Facebook.
Definitely because you’re a weiner.
But I do like that paragraph, because it’s on the Ace of Spades level of unintentionally revealing. Smerconish doesn’t view vaginas as warmly inviting and would like to blame feminists for the lack of warm vaginal invitations into his life. One is compelled to say words that sound rougher on the ear than “vagina”, such as “scapegoating”, and cruelly point out that plenty of men are not angry when they hear the word “vagina”, but then again, they may not be unfamiliar with the idea that women can in fact be warmly inviting.
But that would be cruel. Maybe Smerconish doesn’t view vaginas as warmly inviting for reasons other than an inability to get warm invitations due to unvarnished dipshittery. Maybe he gets laid all the time, but women glare at him during it for reasons he doesn’t care to understand. Maybe he does have a wife or girlfriend who sleeps with him with a generous, giving spirit, but he has secret doubts that she’s really all that enthusiastic. I suppose it could be anything, but all I know is that Smerconish is fooling himself if he thinks that all men have a problem with the word “vagina”, and it might be that they don’t have a reason to think it has a repellent connotation.
*It takes a special kind of lack of self-awareness to be a man who’s willing to admit in public that women’s bodies scare you. For real—that ranks up there with saying out loud that Thomas Kinkade is your favorite artist or that you don’t see why the kids shouldn’t get off your lawn. Having a certain amount of well-placed shame is a good thing in some circumstances.
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I really don’t understand our national discourse at all. So, somebody came up with a new word for one or the other kind of genitals.
That’s news? I predict a Pulitzer for the hack who pops in to an American middle school with a tape recorder, then.
I dislike vajayjay just because it sounds infantile.
But now that Michael Whassisnuts has decided that I shouldn’t be showing any proprietery interest in what I call my own genitalia, I dislike it on principle too.
(However, I am reminded of Lisa Kudrow rattling off, “Vagina vagina vagina vagina,” in the Opposite of Sex, and then asking, “Does that word do anything for you?”)
I feel as though there’s a willfulness to not wanting to like the word….and it has nothing to do with us man-hating feminists. In my experience, if I used the word vagina in discourse, to refer to natural functions, it was never the women who flinched.
I love how he hails the idea that “vajayjay” can be used by men, women, and children–um, hello, I never knew we had that problem with vagina. My parents certainly never called it by weird euphemisms, and neither of them showed skittishness when referring to it during educational talks.
I thought the same thing during the Great Hoo-ha Debacle of February 2007. Much eye rolling commenced then.
Also: I quickly polled my boyfriend. We have no television, and thus no exposure to the vajayjay meme. I said, “How do you feel about the word, “vagina”?” He shrugged and said he was fine with it, with this intonation of “Why do you ask?” I then asked, “Which do you prefer–vagina or vajayjay?” “Vagina. Vajayjay sounds stupid.”
So, anecodotal evidence that “vajayjay” does not immediately engender warm and fuzzy feelings on behalf of the menfolk.
I’m with you, Pixelfish–if people are going to resort to vajayjay, why not just stick with the time-honored “hoohah” or “cooter.” At least they don’t sound like an out-of-date MTV job description.
Everything I know about Cooter I learned from the Duke boys.
Where’s Cooter?
- He’s out back, workin’ on the Dodge.
“Where’s Cooter?
- He’s out back, workin’ on the Dodge.”
Now THAT takes some talent…
You know, I’m really bothered by the proprietary attitude men have towards their assholes. So uninviting. As if they wouldn’t take delight in my thick johnson sliding into their well-lubricated tunnel of love. Therefore, I would like to propose a new word for the asshole.
From now on, I will call it the Smerconish. Isn’t that warm and fuzzy? I’m sure that when I say to some big, hairy biker “Hey dude, can I grease your Smerconish?”, he’s going to be much more accommodating.
From now on, I will call it the Smerconish.
I can get behind that.
Sorry. I’ll just be over here in the corner.
My vagina doesn’t “open for business”–a really telling phrase by Smerconish, in my view. It only opens for pleasure.
Vajayjay just sounds…dumb. Maybe I don’t watch enough TV. Vagina sounds faintly clinical, but that’s because I don’t hear people talking about it–on the other hand, in real life I don’t hear too many people saying penis, either.
On the third hand, if I didn’t know what vagina meant, I’d think it made a pretty fantasy name for girls. Vagina, Good Witch of the North…
If women don’t have a “proprietary interest” in our own body parts, who the hell does??
Vajayjay just sounds…dumb. Maybe I don’t watch enough TV. Vagina sounds faintly clinical, but that’s because I don’t hear people talking about it–on the other hand, in real life I don’t hear too many people saying penis, either.
On the third hand, if I didn’t know what vagina meant, I’d think it made a pretty fantasy name for girls. Vagina, Good Witch of the North…
If women don’t have a “proprietary interest” in our own body parts, who the hell does??
(Hope this didn’t repost three times.)
I hate vajayjay. What the hell is a vajayjay? I have a vagina, and a vulva, I’ve never had anything else, and all these euphemisms don’t do anything but annoy and irritate me.
That Smerconish is such a vajayjay.
You know, I wonder how many folks like him complain about the Vagina Monologues (since that’s apparently in vogue these days).
It surprises me that there are people who think words have problems because of the words themselves, and not the baggage of the speaker or the society. If I have trouble getting “vagina” to roll of my tongue, it’s because I don’t feel comfortable saying it… not because it’s not a nice, rolls off the tongue word.
(Yes, I know. And I’m consciously pretending there’s no joke to be made.)
I am amused that the words ‘penis’ and ‘vagina’ were late Roman slang words for the very things they are the modern English technical terms for. This always makes me laugh a little.
Perhaps some day in the future, when people speak sino-nipponese-spanish as their everyday language, ‘vajayay’ will be the technical/scientific term for vaginas.
That smerconish Smerconish aside, I do have to say that vagina falls short of colloquial needs sometimes because the vagina isn’t where it’s all going on. And “vagina, vulva, clitoris, and g-spot” is kind of mouthful (sometimes literally). Some word is going to fill that linguistic gap no matter our objections. The question is whether that word is going to be a canvass for projecting all those misogynist anxieties–I haven’t seen one that isn’t. I wish there were some analog to ‘package,’ which feels like a pretty neutral and not too childish way to refer a guy’s genitalia.
I am amused that the words ‘penis’ and ‘vagina’ were late Roman slang words for the very things they are the modern English technical terms for. This always makes me laugh a little.
Perhaps some day in the future, when people speak sino-nipponese-spanish as their everyday language, ‘vajayay’ will be the technical/scientific term for vaginas.
@BetsyD. Right on. “open for business”?? WTF!
Before I read that article, I thought “vajayjay” was cutesy and infantile but mostly harmless… I guess I was wrong.
I’ve heard people say that they thought “vagina” sounded clinical before. I’ve always thought it sounded kind of pretty.
Isn’t this the same Smerconish who published the “To Save America, We Need Another 9/11″?
How does he still have a job?!
We must turn the word “smerconish” into the new “santorum.”
loneoak, I never considered that the word vagina falls short because it doesn’t take in the whole “package.” I think you’re completely right about that.
It’s absolutely astounding to me the number of full grown adult men that don’t know about the clit and how to use it…maybe there’s a link there…
Any man that doesn’t know what/where the clit is or how to use it needs reeducation, stat!
Ditto for the g-spot.
Come on guys, it’s not THAT hard
I don’t like the word vagina much. I don’t dislike it per se, but I feel like there’s a linguistic gap. There are occasions during sex when I want to talk about a vagina and there’s no word that seems right. There’s no word that can express genuine admiration for a vagina without diminishing it somehow. “Vagina” feels too clinical, “pussy” feels too crude, and “vajayjay” and the like feel too cutesy.
@themann1086
I’ve made it my personal mission to reeducate as many men as possible over the years, but alas there’s only so much one woman can do
Given this conversation at the end of the article,
I think the smerconish Smerconish is just bitter that he’s never actually seen a woman’s vagina/vulva before. Unless he views the creation of the term “vajayjay” as the only way to achieve his life long dream of giving women pap smears…
Tom Robbins dubbed that area the “peachfish” in one of his books; I’ve always thought that sums it up pretty well.
PS
These were the links on the top of the page. Hilarious!
Vagina Odor
A women’s guide with expert advice on vaginal health and more.
www.ivillage.comSmell Vagina
Don’t deal with the smell. Find out what over 68,000 women have done.
www.Enzara.com
Dude named “Smerconish” is whining about a word that “doesn’t roll easily off the tongue”?? OK, Tony has the clue here and maybe we’ve just found the new, well, is it a euphemism or an eponym? Maybe both. Thinking about it rather more than I’d prefer to just after breakfast, though, I’ll have to stipulate that the word sounds like what you might get if the guy that Tony was hypothetically addressing said “OK” and proceeded without quite attending to the expectant emptiness of the cavity in question. (The medical term is “rectal ampulla” in case anyone else needs to discuss this.) A little more substantial a matter than santorum is.
Wonder how scared Smerconish is of (brace yaselves now, guys: possible trigger) “vulva”? Ooooooo booggabooggaboooggah.
Guess he just wants to put his peepee into someone’s vajayjay. Maybe he’s still putting his bowling ball into the toilet. (Ref: very old joke.)
As for the ladyparts: I like my cunt a lot, and have a vague preference that no one who hasn’t had his or her tongue there get to have the word on their tongue. It does cover the whole package, though. “Package” might do, or the Pythonesque “naughty bits.” Or “my MMMmmmmm,” spelled with the uppercase letters exactly thus and a smile. It certainly has made me smile frequently over the 58 years I’ve had it.
Like PixelFish, I dislike “vajayjay” because it sounds like a children’s word. You know, like “wee wee” or “cha cha.”
Can’t we call things by their proper names, please? Especially those of us who aren’t still being potty-trained?
Also totally agree with the “willful dislike” theory for “vagina.” I never hear anyone bitching about what a yucky, “uninviting” word “penis” is.
No, I think it was another smerconish named Stu Bykofsky. He appears to be a particularly hairy and greasy smerconish, with dingleberries of idotic wingnuttery.
New Rule, submitted for your approval:
When a conservative accidentally reveals something wierd, hilarious, and totally confirmative of our deepest suspicions about their twisted view of sexuality, it shall be referred to as ‘Pulling an Ace O’ Spades.” When a conservative does so on purpose thinking that he’s being clever, it shall be referred to as “Smerconishing all over the Room.”
I love vagina!
I think we should ‘vagina’ day.
God, what an idiot…here in Philly we get a daily dose.
see what brendan says:
Cock-Headed Columnist Obsesses About Vaginas
Michael Smerconish. Who the fuck is he?
No, no, no, media morons, you’ve got it all wrong. There’s only one man who’s qualified to discourse on “vagina” versus “vajayjay,” and that man is Prince.
Yes, Prince. Consider this: Way back in history 3000 years, in fact ever since the world began…no, wait a minute, make that about 25 years ago, Prince met a nude model named Denise Matthews and suggested she take the stage name “Vagina.” Only he pronounced it “Va-GEE-na.” She refused. Therefore, she became “Vanity” instead. And the rest is obscure musical footnote history. I’ll bet to this day, Prince thinks she (and he) could’ve made a lot more money if she’d gone with “Vagina.” Who knows, maybe now we’d all be pronouncing it that way, and we’d never have to know who Michael Smerconish was.
Which reminds me that a few years before that, Elvis Costello did a song on his Armed Forces album called “Big Boys,” which had a line that went, “I got down upon one knee/stroking her vanity.” My vanity. Hmmm. Naah, sounds too much like a sanitary product.
I can tell you one thing right now. I’ve transcribed or edited thousands of medical reports in my lifetime, many of which have involved female genitalia, and no doctor in a million squillion years would ever ever EVER use the word “vajayjay” in a professional capacity. If you’re doing slang, do slang for male and female. If you’re doing not-slang, do not-slang for male and female. It’s that simple. A penis is not “cleaner” than a vagina. It’s just not. Mouths have way more bacteria than either of ‘em, anyway.
Smerconish recently wrote another column about how on his early AM drive into the city for his radio show, teh traffic lights are timed to make his drive as efficent as possible.
He wrote it under the guise of ‘fuel economy’ but I think we can now see that he’s a typical right wiong jerk who thinks all his vajayjays should be warm and inviting and all his traffic lights should be green.
My wife worked at anm elementary school where Smerconish was a honorary board member or some such nonsense; she said he’s so full of himself, he could barely share the stage with second graders…
oops that last post should be ‘the…lights aren’t timed’
I’m wondering what he feels about the word “cunt”…
I kinda wonder if the guy is serious considering some of his language…”beat around the bush”, “can’t put my finger on it”, “roll off the tounge”….What is this really about?
I like Vajayjay cause…I like that character on Grey’s and the way it was delivered.
lutton,
thanks to the link to brendan, which had a link to the new york times article. the nytimes piece was much more interesting and discussed some girl positive reasons the word might be catching on.
I don’t have tv and so this all comes to me, as it were, after the fact but I ahve to say I like the word “vajayjay” because it makes me giggle. I’ve got a vagina, and I’ve gotten some great fun out of it, but I think the word vajayjay is hysterically funny. Maybe because its more user friendly, like “dick” as opposed to “penis.” There have always been a host of words *men* used to describe women’s vaginas and because the context is usually hostile the terms come accross as hostile. But vajayay, besides sounding vaguely hindi to me, like yoni or puti, just sounds like a word we can take ownership of. And why not? In fact I just used it recently in a post on the whole hillary clinton dust up over “using her gender” because, to me, vajayj this connotation that the very word “vagina” is to scary for men to hear and we are having to protect them from our vagina dentata like power. To me its infantilizing *the male auditor* and pointing out that they aren’t really ready to handle the real name of things.
aimai
I don’t have tv and so this all comes to me, as it were, after the fact but I ahve to say I like the word “vajayjay” because it makes me giggle. I’ve got a vagina, and I’ve gotten some great fun out of it, but I think the word vajayjay is hysterically funny. Maybe because its more user friendly, like “dick” as opposed to “penis.” There have always been a host of words *men* used to describe women’s vaginas and because the context is usually hostile the terms come accross as hostile. But vajayay, besides sounding vaguely hindi to me, like yoni or puti, just sounds like a word we can take ownership of. And why not? In fact I just used it recently in a post on the whole hillary clinton dust up over “using her gender” because, to me, vajayj this connotation that the very word “vagina” is to scary for men to hear and we are having to protect them from our vagina dentata like power. To me its infantilizing *the male auditor* and pointing out that they aren’t really ready to handle the real name of things.
aimai
I don’t have tv and so this all comes to me, as it were, after the fact but I ahve to say I like the word “vajayjay” because it makes me giggle. I’ve got a vagina, and I’ve gotten some great fun out of it, but I think the word vajayjay is hysterically funny. Maybe because its more user friendly, like “dick” as opposed to “penis.” There have always been a host of words *men* used to describe women’s vaginas and because the context is usually hostile the terms come accross as hostile. But vajayay, besides sounding vaguely hindi to me, like yoni or puti, just sounds like a word we can take ownership of. And why not? In fact I just used it recently in a post on the whole hillary clinton dust up over “using her gender” because, to me, vajayj this connotation that the very word “vagina” is to scary for men to hear and we are having to protect them from our vagina dentata like power. To me its infantilizing *the male auditor* and pointing out that they aren’t really ready to handle the real name of things.
aimai
I don’t have tv and so this all comes to me, as it were, after the fact but I ahve to say I like the word “vajayjay” because it makes me giggle. I’ve got a vagina, and I’ve gotten some great fun out of it, but I think the word vajayjay is hysterically funny. Maybe because its more user friendly, like “dick” as opposed to “penis.” There have always been a host of words *men* used to describe women’s vaginas and because the context is usually hostile the terms come accross as hostile. But vajayay, besides sounding vaguely hindi to me, like yoni or puti, just sounds like a word we can take ownership of. And why not? In fact I just used it recently in a post on the whole hillary clinton dust up over “using her gender” because, to me, vajayj this connotation that the very word “vagina” is to scary for men to hear and we are having to protect them from our vagina dentata like power. To me its infantilizing *the male auditor* and pointing out that they aren’t really ready to handle the real name of things.
aimai
I don’t have tv and so this all comes to me, as it were, after the fact but I ahve to say I like the word “vajayjay” because it makes me giggle. I’ve got a vagina, and I’ve gotten some great fun out of it, but I think the word vajayjay is hysterically funny. Maybe because its more user friendly, like “dick” as opposed to “penis.” There have always been a host of words *men* used to describe women’s vaginas and because the context is usually hostile the terms come accross as hostile. But vajayay, besides sounding vaguely hindi to me, like yoni or puti, just sounds like a word we can take ownership of. And why not? In fact I just used it recently in a post on the whole hillary clinton dust up over “using her gender” because, to me, vajayj this connotation that the very word “vagina” is to scary for men to hear and we are having to protect them from our vagina dentata like power. To me its infantilizing *the male auditor* and pointing out that they aren’t really ready to handle the real name of things.
aimai
my apologies if this comment appears more than once, I can’t get the captcha to work for some reason.
I don’t have tv and so this all comes to me, as it were, after the fact but I ahve to say I like the word “vajayjay” because it makes me giggle. I’ve got a vagina, and I’ve gotten some great fun out of it, but I think the word vajayjay is hysterically funny. Maybe because its more user friendly, like “dick” as opposed to “penis.” There have always been a host of words *men* used to describe women’s vaginas and because the context is usually hostile the terms come accross as hostile. But vajayay, besides sounding vaguely hindi to me, like yoni or puti, just sounds like a word we can take ownership of. And why not? In fact I just used it recently in a post on the whole hillary clinton dust up over “using her gender” because, to me, vajayj this connotation that the very word “vagina” is to scary for men to hear and we are having to protect them from our vagina dentata like power. To me its infantilizing *the male auditor* and pointing out that they aren’t really ready to handle the real name of things.
aimai
“Vagina is a tough word that refuses to roll easily off the tongue”
Really? Actually, I can’t think of a more elegant-sounding word.
“Vagina is a tough word that refuses to roll easily off the tongue”
Really? I can’t think of a more elegant-sounding word.
smerconish = 1) asshole; 2) assholeLOSER.
these guys are less opapaque in their misogyny than ted bundy ever was. i want a lasergun to just evaoprate them & their fecal vapors.
also: that little gem of an anecdote with the smerconish gyn sounds like it was lifted from a cartoon in Penthouse.
i dont think the word vagina is negative at all. but vagina always makes me think of the vaginal canal only, & so it is limiting.
my bf calls my genitals my ‘vagenie’, which i like because it defines the powerful, magical little entity (my clit) which grants wishes & brings pleasure to all, along with the magical vessel the ‘genie’ sits atop of
I’m sort of pleased by the “vajayjay” phenomenon. We need more mater-of-fact slang terms for vulvas and vaginas. Most of the applicable English slang has crass or overly sexualized connotations. These words have their place, but they aren’t as versatile as they could be. We need more plain old words that don’t sound like euphemisms, epithets, or cutesy nicknames.
There are lots of slang terms for penises and testicles are just straightforward colloquial names for body parts. “Dick” and “balls” are good examples of common words for common body parts. They’re colloquial without being euphemistic or overtly lascivious.
Oprah’s never going to say “pussy” on TV. If she feels comfortable using “vajayjay,” that’s fine. It’s not a term I’m going to use, but I hope it sparks a proliferation of low-key slang for vulvas and vaginas. It’s easier to talk about things when you have the right vocabulary.
I kinda wonder if the guy is serious considering some of his language…”beat around the bush”, “can’t put my finger on it”, “roll off the tounge”
Not to mention “warm and fuzzy.” It’s clearly a deliberate nudge-nudge wink-wink piece of work, saying almost-but-not-quite leeringly that he’s willing to go down on a “vajayjay” but not a “vagina.”
And presuming that having Michael Smerconish anywhere near that vicinity is, you know, desirable.
Hate the silliness of the word- won’t use it at all.
Re: vulva- my grief therapist and I were comparing notes about our mothers one session. I told her about my mom saying we have pubic hair, but rhyming it to “public”, and calling pads “sanity” napkins instead of “sanitary”.
My therapist replied that her 80 year old mother tells everyone how much she adores her car: “Oh, I just LOVE my VULVA! It takes me everywhere with no trouble at all!”
Neither of us have the heart to correct our moms…
Sadly, it’s a lot easier to find the P-spot than the G-spot.
I agree with other posters on it sounding incredibly infantile, and would simply ask Smerconish if he refers to his dick as his “weewee.” If yes, then sure, I guess saying “vajayjay” is fine.
But I’m betting he doesn’t. because it isn’t “manly.” Funny thing about manly, you’d think the prerequisites to “being like a man” are “being male” and “being an adult.” funny how often that second one gets left out of the dialog.
So in a compromise, feminists will refrain from referring to Smerconish’s “adorable little peepee” and he doesn’t ever, EVER use the term “vajayjay” again. Also, he has to hold still while we beat him with a PVC pipe for that “vagina sounds textbook, vajayjay sounds facebook” thing. Because there is only so much misogyny and pigheaded anti-intellectualism you can put in a sentence before consequences must be faced.
Seriously, that’s on the order of demanding the ACLU stop referring to itself as “American” because they don’t sponsor a NASCAR stockcar.
You guys, come on. It’s already tailormade to be an adjective, the adjectival form of “Nice Guy ™”. As in, “I can’t believe that a totally smerconish guy like that thought he had a chance with you!” Or “I spent the afternoon chatting with Fred; he keeps complaining how girls aren’t interested in him, so I was telling him that if he’d just stop being so smerconish he’d be fine…”
I knew that was gonna happen. Arrg!
MRAs just keep ruining good words!!!
Okay, we can use Vajayjay, but we must then ALSO use teeenypeeeny whenever male genitalia is referenced. I’m sure that both kid-friendly words will be liberally used in all potty-training endeavors.
That’s better widdle boy! We all toddwers now! All done!
I honestly don’t interact with the rest of humanity probably as much as I should, but are y’all fuckin’ kiddin’ me? Are there men in this world, grown men, who can buy alcohol and vote and all that, yet get squicked out when they have to say the word “vagina” in its correct context? Seriously?
Vagina. Vagina vagina vagina. Vulva. Clitoris. Labia, majora and minora. Mons pubis.
Christ almighty, this is some silly shit. And how often is the average dude put into a position where he has no other option of refering to the female genital area as anything other than “vagina”? Really, it can’t be more than two, three times a month, unless he’s in sort of medical field, right? Does my hermitic experience throw me off? I mean, you wouldn’t want to tell your special lady “Dearest, I would like to masticate your vagina” during the height of passion, maybe. That I could understand. But otherwise? Suck it up and say “vagina” when “vagina” fits, dude, and then shut the fuck up.
Sheesh.
My last comment might be in moderation, so forgive me if I end up repeating myself.
I like the “vajayjay” phenomenon because we’ve created a slang term for vagina that you can use on TV.
Male parts have perfectly good colloquial names like “dick” and “balls”–words you can use to say what you mean without a lot of extraneous connotations. In English, virtually every slang term for vulvas and vaginas is some kind of euphemism or epithet or cutesy nickname.
“Vajayjay” is still too cutesy for my taste, but at least it doesn’t have the baggage that goes with the current alternatives like “pussy” or “beaver.”
I like the “vajayjay” phenomenon because we’ve created a slang term for vagina that you can use on TV.
Male parts have perfectly good colloquial names like “dick” and “balls”–words you can use to say what you mean without a lot of extraneous connotations. In English, virtually every slang term for vulvas and vaginas is some kind of euphemism or epithet or cutesy nickname.
It’s not my favoritest word ever, but I agree with Lindsay: male genitals have plenty of nicknames that can be used in public or on TV, but until they used “vajayjay” on “Grey’s Anatomy,” there really wasn’t one for the vagina. “Pussy” and “cunt” are still very much considered dirty words that you can only say on “Sex & the City,” if that.
And, I’m sorry, but body parts get nicknamed all the time, not just the genitals. Has no one ever heard of “belly” or “bottom” or “butt”? It’s not like giving a nickname to the vagina is something so very weird and strange and unheard of. It’s just what we do in English.
Male parts have perfectly good colloquial names like “dick” and “balls”–words you can use to say what you mean without a lot of extraneous connotations. In English, virtually every slang term for vulvas and vaginas is some kind of euphemism or epithet or cutesy nickname.
It’s not the word, it’s what the word means. “Vajayjay” is going to go the way of “retarded,” “handicapped,” “disabled,” and the rest of that series of euphemisms for “moron” and “idiot.” Until we start thinking of women as human, any euphemism for “vagina” is eventually going to make people shudder.
mnemosyne makes my point, as does lindsay beyerstein, I tried saying this in a long and eloquent post hours ago but the darn thing wouldn’t recognize my capcha readings, somehow. At any rate, I postively like “vajajay” and to my mind it smacks of a word invented to parody the fact that men are so terrified of women’s parts. Its diminutive nature and the fact that it is historically first said by a female character makes it something that women can and will use–not appropriating men’s often crude slang terms but appropriating a childishly funny term and making it, well, a challenge to a world that insists that women not speak about their private parts. It makes me laugh in the same way that saying “Republicans are determined to know who puts their wing wang in the hoo hah” makes me laugh–because it casts doubt on the whole right wing obsession with sex and sexual parts. Its like “queer” when it was repossessed.
aimai
Penis:
Panunu?
Panono? (we could make this lesbian slang)
Pahnyenye?
Peeneenee?
Iz funs.
I can’t quite put my finger on it, but it seems that vajayjay is different.
He really didn’t need to share his sexual frustrations there.
The new word is just dumb, obviously. Personally (and I know preferences differ), ‘vagina’, ‘twat’, and ‘cunt’ have all been part of my vocabulary throughout my sexual life, and the women I’ve slept with have not taken issue with my usage. Some of the other, IMHO, more derogatory phrases I’ve used for humor (usually mocking those that use those phrases - hard to describe).
My daughter (age 9) sat in our backseat between my partner’s two sons (ages 7 and 9) with look of pained annoyance while they went off on a long chant of “penis penis penis. They aren’t encouraged to use this word at their mother’s home but rather the euphemism “schmenge”. Really not a bad word at all — rather cute. But they were so excited that I not only allow the clinical terms, but have taught them exclusively to my daughter and felt the need to repeat it ad nauseum. So my daughter puts up with this for about three minutes before announcing loudly “If you don’t stop….I’ll say VAGINA.’ It was really priceless the way the boys’ eyes got really big and they both immediately agreed to shut up. They have some smerconish damage already, but I was proud of Charlotte recognizing and owning VAGINA as a word both powerful and empowering. She sees nothing wrong with it but recognizes that others might and uses it accordingly. I’m most pleased.
The whole thing just makes me glad I don’t have TV. My nine year old Charlotte had the good sense to shut up the sons of my partner who were chanting “penis penis penis” one day (this is apparently very exciting to kids that are taught that clinical terms are “nasty” by their mom). She merely said “If you don’t stop saying penis, I’ll say VAGINA.” They immediately gulped, got glassy eyed, and agreed it was time to change the subject. I was proud of Charlotte for owning VAGINA as a powerful and empowering word. There are no forbidden words in our house (which is amusing now that she’s taken to saying “fuckin” periodically with furtive glances my way for a reaction) so it’s a totally normalized concept and term for her, but knows that other kids can get really freaked and weird. And uses it accordingly. Knowledge is girlpower.
Oh for cryin’ out loud…does anyone else remember when teenage girls used “the unit” when speaking of their vaginas? I still use it…from time to time.
Anyhow, I love Tony’s response, and wish there was some way that Smerconish could read it.
I like vajayjay because it was coined for the express purpose of making network standards and practices look stupid. *shrug* I say vagina, too, though, and I imagine within a month or two vajayjay will have left my vocabulary.
I heart emo cat.
. And “vagina, vulva, clitoris, and g-spot” is kind of mouthful (sometimes literally).
You have a prehensile tongue?
You know, my man and the men I’ve enjoyed in the past seem to have no problem finding a word to refer to my vagina and other related parts.
Possibly its because the man I enjoy now and the ones in past actually enjoyed, lusted after, loved and yearned for my vagina and its related parts to the point where simple mention of the name, whether vagina or any other crude colloquialism could get their motor running. They dive their face into it, snuggle it, love it, proclaim their devotion to it…
I married a man that had problems with referencing genitalia and let me tell you, his apprehension didn’t stop there.
Smerconish - sexually inexperienced man; sexually inept; a man fearful of female genitalia.
My problem with “vajayjay” is that I knew a couple of Indian boys named Vijay when I was growing up, and I keep thinking of them when I hear the word. I mean, I liked them well enough, but I like the vagina in a very different way.
“You’re a weiner”?
That’s very mature…
So, are we going to have to rename an entire provincial capital of Canada so we can say it on TV? Or will that just result in a suspiciously Arabic/Indian sounding sort of pet name? http://www.regina.ca/
So this was coined by a TV producer. The disnification of female anatomy must stop!
“Open for business”… yes, proof again the the smerconishes of the world think all women are whores.
Then again, with his personality, he may simply be revealing that he can only get laid as a business arrangement.
As I read the post, all of it seemed something that could be attributed to someone merely misguided in his idea of gender relations — the “proprietary interest” comment was telling, but could have been chalked up to a poor choice of words — until he said “Open for business.” At that point, he confirmed everything Amanda said.
Amazing.
The only thing worse than knowing that there are people who think this way is realizing that the moment these assholes met, in a social context, a strong, intelligent woman, they’d do everything, including misrepresenting themselves and apologizing for things for which they are not sorry, to be with these women. In my experience, they succeed more often than not — not because the women are suckers for being worshiped as much as they are unprepared for someone to be so deceitful in the pursuit of an honest, long-term relationship.
Of course, landing that strong, intelligent woman both fails to change his mind about women in general, she being the exception to all the “rules,” and she’ll be unavailable to pursue a healthy relationship with someone who already respects women and would value her as something other than a genetic oddity.
Richard Goblin: Is that thing about Roman slang really true? I hadn’t heard that. If you’ve got a link, I’d love to see it — not that I doubt you, but that’s interesting enough that I’d like to put it in context.
My wife and I watched “the Vagina Monologues” tonight for the first time. Someone - maybe I - should send a copy to Smerconish so that he will finally complete his plans to rip his eyeballs out. Eve Ensler is an amazing actress.
Santorum, n.: The frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex.
Malkin, n.: An ill-fed, bad-tempered cat.
Vajayjay, n.: An infantile euphemism for vagina used by the immature.
Smerconish, adj.: A tendency in a man to claim a proprietary interest in women’s genitalia.
I’m sort of pleased by the “vajayjay” phenomenon. We need more mater-of-fact slang terms for vulvas and vaginas. Most of the applicable English slang has crass or overly sexualized connotations. These words have their place, but they aren’t as versatile as they could be. We need more plain old words that don’t sound like euphemisms, epithets, or cutesy nicknames.
Well, it is in fact a euphemism, though. And euphemisms can only go in two directions: disappear or become as dirty as the word they’re replacing. So it seems like a solution, but so did “vagina” when it was constructed to replace “cunt”.
I get where Lindsay and Aimai are coming from….but my brain still rejects vajayjay as sounding stupid. (Perhaps it’s the repeating syllables that put it in the same territory as weewee and peepee.)
But Aimai does mention the word “Yoni” which is actually my bf’s favourite phrase for my vaginal area. (We discovered it in our illustrated Kama Sutra.) I personally like that just fine, because it doesn’t sound infantile or overly cutesy and it has nice connotations. (According to wikipedia, it means “Divine Passage”….)
Anecdote #1
I am American and have an American friend named Regina. We usually call her Reg. We both have a passing acquaintance with a Canadian man, not intimate with either of us to be using nicknames. She cringes and turns all red whenever he pronounces her name, because he rhymes it with the Canadian city. I’m not sure if Regina as a girl’s name is pronounced that way in Canada or just uncommon, but I’m sure glad it’s her name and not mine!
Anecdote #2
I once knew a young girl with several learning disabilities, including dyslexia. She was in some mainstream classes and some pull-out special ed. When she was about 14, she had to give a report about her family history, something no longer done in the school district where I taught a few years ago, but this was a few years before that and in another state. Anyway, the girl memorized her presentation very carefully, including the line, “My grandmother was born in Virginia.” Being a shy girl, she was nervous when giving her presentation, and even though she had it memorized, glanced at her note cards anyway. What did she say? “My grandmother was born in vagina.” The teacher covered for her quickly and said, “Most people are.”
As far as using smearconish for asshole, along with the real meaning santorum: I thought Santorum was Latin for asshole! (from Bob Kerrey)
‘penis’ = Latin for ‘tail’
‘vagina’ = Latin for ’scabbard’
These were the Roman slang terms, people. ‘Vagina’ was the Roman equivalent of ‘pussy’. The problem isn’t the word, the problem is the mysogyny (a Greek word, BTW).
Looking around the internet, it looks like Grey’s was not the first use of it. I’d seen and heard “vajayjay” used before. I’ve heard it on the radio. I’ve seen it on the internet. Even the NY Times article mentions that she was not the one who coined the word, she boosted it’s popularity.
“Long before “Grey’s Anatomy” set vajayjay on its course to being a T-shirt-worthy catchphrase, it was used by some circles of women, on blogs and, briefly, in Regena Thomashauer’s book about pleasure, “Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts” (Simon & Schuster, 2002)…
“Ms. Rhimes asked the show’s writers for alternative words, but it was an assistant, Blythe Robe, who volunteered her own alias: vajayjay. “As in ‘I’m off to the gynie to see about my vajayjay,’” Ms. Rhimes said.”
I’m mentioning this because so many comments have mentioned the writer as the creator of the word (which she wasn’t), rather than using an existing slang term and putting it in the mainstream.
Syfr: “I hate vajayjay. What the hell is a vajayjay? I have a vagina, and a vulva, I’ve never had anything else, and all these euphemisms don’t do anything but annoy and irritate me.”
Before I knew what they meant, I disliked the words vulva and volvo (vulva more.) I tried to think of why, it seems to be just the unpleasing (to my ear) sound of multiple v’s and u’s, as well as those being the worst letters in Scrabble (which I played a lot from a very young age.) Vagina doesn’t bother me, though I don’t use or hear it much in real life, any more than I hear or use penis very much in real life. Not many people at work walk up and ask how your vagina/penis is doing, or ask to have a look. I don’t talk to my neighbor over the fence about her vagina unless she’s having a medical issue. I don’t ask our other neighbor if he’s having trouble with his penis. These things just don’t come up very often for many of us.
My parents used a name for my genitals when I was little that I’ve never heard since - chichiroo. No, really. I never EVER liked it. It was cutesy and silly and embarrassing to say. I don’t even know if they taught me the real name or I picked it up in my reading. There was some stupid name my brother gave his own nutsack but it wasn’t bestowed on him.
I don’t quite read the ill intent on this guy as others are though - I certainly see how it sounds and it sounds awful, but. Kids, little kids, have a natural curiosity and little fear. Then sometimes they’re caught “looking” and they are reamed out. Little boys don’t DO that, they don’t look at girls there. Girls and boys don’t pull down their pants and look! Immediately that fear and forbidden feeling get ingrained. Later, in social situations, if there is a need to refer to such a private body part that clearly is HER private part and you might not be exactly welcome to discuss it, it’s a pretty natural reaction to feel some nervousness in just saying it out. He’s been taught that that’s something forbidden, not for him to know, not for him to touch (and that’s a good thing, since it isn’t his, but he doesn’t understand that the time will come when she will want to be touched there and it isn’t wrong then, or forbidden then.) I’ve known pubescent boys who were so afraid of the whole process - there was even a singsong rhyme - “It was under the apple tree/when first she showed it to me/it was big and hairy with a crack down the center/and it looked pretty scary to me.” A boyfriend told me that one. I was like “Scary? Wtf?” I didn’t understand why, but then it hadn’t occurred to me I was a little afraid of getting up close and personal with his penis too (we were 14 after all.) Which says to me if you’re not ready to say the words or view the body parts you aren’t ready for sex.
I kind of see his characterization of the vajayjay as “welcoming” is probably an improvement over always being afraid that he might inadvertently anger a woman by flat-out saying “vagina”, or offend her sensibilities if she’s that type, or that he’s treading on forbidden territory by even mentioning it. In other words I don’t see it as being as sinister a thing as it’s being made out to be. He knows vaginas belong to women and they are not for him to have without her clear desire and express consent, and it’s a tricky road to navigate, conversation-wise. I’m just saying I don’t think he DOES think he or men own them, but just the opposite.
Well, if you have daughters my advice isn’t to call her genitals “chichiroos” (or vajayjays) - that’s embarrassing even when you’re 3. Vagina is a perfectly euphonious word with nothing to negate its use. Sometimes they can’t say it and they end up making something cuter, as mine did when she got hurt and said she didn’t want her “ja-NIGH-na” to die. Others have heard Jemimah.
Well I’m probably missing a major point that I meant when I started, but it’s late even with the time change. Interesting post. Interesting article. Maybe we could just tell this guy that it’s fine to say vagina, and that we don’t like vajayjay, and that they DO actually belong to us, and he is not “invited” because Ms. Vagina is not “inviting” unless he actually hears an invitation and it’s not open for “business or pleasure” until she says it is, but that he has nothing to fear from using correct terms. Well…he might. Some women would not appreciate hearing a man say it. I do hope an enlightened feminist would not take issue to a man using the word in normal discourse, so we can put this stupid vajayjay thing to rest.
Does Maude Lebowski come to mind for anyone else here?
Hm. I kind of like “scabbard,” now that you say it, Richard. There’s an implication of phallic might to it, but I hang out with enough Ren Faire chicks that’d probably be cool with it.
LemonAide: Which says to me if you’re not ready to say the words or view the body parts you aren’t ready for sex.
The same is true if you refer to sex as “pop-pop.”
Lemonade, I don’t have an issue with lovers pet-naming their genitalia to make it more user-friendly, as it were. I have issues with a society which forbids the use of consensus anatomically correct name for the sex bit of one gender as profane and too dirty to hear! I especially loathe it when such use is permitted for one anatomically correct name and not the other.
Like, how do I explain this stupidity to my children?
Smerconish only “me toos” the (lack of) reasoning behind this stupidity. Women get their sex bits referred to by a pet name on an official basis because it is “friendlier” - and that “official” aspect is what makes it juvenile and childish and infantalizing and insulting to women. This isn’t one lover calling her twat something cute and another giving his dick a silly appelation - this is network TV embedded in larger sociiety at a viewing time that is very much adult-oriented.
One thing is clear: in Smerconish’s world, women are NEVER allowed to grow up. That’s inconvenient for the menz.
Purpleshoes shares her thoughts on interesting parts:
Penis sounds like a small and somewhat cowardly creature that sprays snot when alarmed.
I know, I know. I just hate that word. It sounds like a sneeze. I am pleased that “cock” has taken over, at least on the internet.
Vagina, on the other hand, is a long, smooth, slippery sort of word: self-contained, a little aloof, but amicable to the company of those judged worthwhile. Men are just jealous that they don’t get three syllables.
I will confess that I don’t bust out “vagina” in everyday conversation, partially because it does not, in fact, denote the whole package (though does vajayjay?). In situations where some circumspection is called for, I usually say womanparts.
I am sure that is somehow perpetuating the patriarchy, though.
Smerconish is a perfect adjective for this fellow’s worldview. Are there any -ish adjectives that aren’t nasty or at best wishy-washy? All I can think of on the positive side is “stylish”–the rest kinda hold their nose.
As for vajayjay, it does meet a need, if you can tolerate the wee-pee pee-pee tone. We don’t have any good slang for the vagina itself–and sometimes when you’re talking in bed, you need to distinguish it from your vulva . Say you want your partner to put his or her thumb in your vagina and use the other four fingers on the rest of the vulva neighborhood. I wouldn’t want to say vajayjay for that request, but yoni or pussy or whatever wouldn’t be accurate.
Talk about childhood made me remember that to prevent embarassment my mother created her own synonyms for turd, fart, and penis for us to use. So if we shouted it out in public, no one would know what we were talking about. She probably had a synonym for vagina for my sister, but I wouldn’t know what that was.
Regarding the male reaction to female genitalia: I remember seeing a baby girl’s genitals when I was little, and thinking she was horribly mutilated.
1) I agree with the idea that the problem with a word like “vayjayjay” is that it encourages the hatred of and contempt for women’s bodies, reducing their parts to a cutesy little name that’s more … uh … palatable to men in particular (or to women who have internalized this outlook.) I was talking to a few of my women friends, all former feminists and now revolutionary communists, about how I still thought “vagina” was so “clinical” and it would kill the mood if a lover whispered it in bed. Why, they both asked, was “penis” acceptable, but not “vagina”? Saying that the word “vagina” is “cold” or “clinical” has nothing to do with the way it sounds (by the way, it sounds really lovely in Spanish: va-HEE-nah) and everything to do with how we feel about the body part itself.
2) Apropos of not much, I know two really great little kids under 5, whose parents have raised them with an open and accepting attitude towards their bodies, and so of course they know all the correct terms for everything. One of their favorite things to do as I scramble around trying to get them dressed is to run around chanting, “Do you know the Penis Man/The Penis Man/The Penis Man/Do you know the Penis Man/Who Lives in Penis Lane?”
I have to keep from laughing every time they do this, and it doesn’t always work.
Another story:
A few years ago, I was shopping at a street fair, and there was a group of teenaged guys from a nearby (fairly progressive) public high school, out with a camera; they told me they’d been assigned to interview people on the street about their opinion of the film version of “The Vagina Monologues.”
I agreed to be interviewed (I have no memory of what I said) and remember that two of the dudes looked mortified to be out there, and were basically letting their friend do all the work. After the interview was over, I asked him what he’d thought: he had really had his eyes opened by the movie, and was thinking about things in a way he probably hadn’t before. He told me this surreptitiously, as if afraid his friends would hear.
It gave me a newfound appreciation for the movie — and man, what a kick-ass teacher they must’ve had.
I’m curious. How do you pronounce that stupid word? It appears the last two syllables are accented (else the second “ay” would drop to a schwa.)
As I posted elsewhere, I wouldn’t say that word even with someone else’s tongue, on account a I’m a Real Man™, and, for crying out loud, “vajayjay”?!. But I’m also old, old; maybe this up-and-coming young generation wouldn’t feel the same way.
I like vaj myself. There’s few other single-syllable terms for the vulva, and they all sound awful (cunt, twat). Vaj is one syllable, simple, and merely a shortening of the actual word.
“Vajayjay” is closer to slang than to euphemism. The term draws attention to what you’re actually talking about, instead of obfuscating.
“Vajayay” is to “vagina” as “boob” is to “breast.”
“Boob” isn’t necessarily a word you use because you’re uncomfortable with the word “breast,” or with breasts, or with being heard talking about breasts.
Some people do use “boob” as a euphemism, especially pre-pubescent boys, IME. But it’s that’s the exception, rather than the rule.
There are plenty of euphemisms for breasts, e.g., “chest”, “bust”, “decolletage.”
Likewise, “ass” and “butt” are definitely slang, but not euphemisms. Contrast those frank, transparent, evocative words with terms like “rear end.”
“Vag” is a perfectly respectable one-syllable version, in my opinion, if you’re not in company where you’d be comfortable saying “cunt”. It’s certainly better than “vajayjay”, and would sure sound less infantile coming from an adult woman. My god, these people…”vajayjay”, seriously? Do they call their penis their “peepee”?
“Twat” just sounds too much like “twit” for me, so I never use it. Although I call people twits pretty regularly. But “penis” is a flaccid little word, IMHO — must be the Latin. I don’t ever use it in bed.
Everything I’ve seen puts it into euphemism category—the very act of saying that something sounds nicer than the nasty word that we dare not pronounce puts it into euphemism category. And that it’s being used on TV to replace the word “vagina”, which you can’t say….
Maybe some people feel perfectly comfortable with “vagina” and say “vajayjay”, but I’d need more evidence.
The pedants point out that vaginas are not the entire area, but I think it’s fair to say it’s used colliqually to mean the entire genital area, so that’s okay with me.
“Vajayay” is to “vagina” as “boob” is to “breast.”
One is the anatomical name for use in medical settings, the other is a colloquial reference or pet name.
My son’s godmother doesn’t say “I have BOOB cancer”, nor is she subjecting herself to chemotherapy for Boob Cancer. She has breast cancer. She might say that it affects her boobs, in casual conversation, but the medical term is breast cancer nonetheless. If a doctor walked in and said “you have Boob cancer”, it would be considered highly unprofessional and trivializing.
The problem isn’t the sing-song silly of “vajayjay” per se, but that a portrayal of a medical situation calls for the proper anatomical term to be used. The additional problem is that the MALE sex organ may be referred to in proper anatomical terms, but the proper anatomical term for the FEMALE sex organ is censored as too dirty to air.
Linda “I was talking to a few of my women friends, all former feminists and now revolutionary communists, about how I still thought “vagina” was so “clinical” and it would kill the mood if a lover whispered it in bed. Why, they both asked, was “penis” acceptable, but not “vagina”?”
Well, I don’t know if it’s more accepted in society, but I don’t really want to hear either word in bed when I’m having sex. I started something with one guy a long long time ago who described every single part of every act with a detached and clinical manner - forget it. Killed any desire I had for anything. I’ve been married a long time so it’s not an issue anymore - we both know what we like and what little signals will get us that thing without saying anything - but I wouldn’t want to navigate that all over again with someone new.
As far as casual conversations I still can’t think of any where penis or vagina come up for any particular reason.
Um - my husband walked by just now and said “In your little box” and since we’re discussing vaginas I thought he meant that. He meant the little box I’m typing in. For some reason the term box has never bothered me. I don’t like vajayjay though.
Unbelievably enough, Ms. Kate, about a decade or so ago AOL decided that using the word “breast” in its forums was a TOS violation. So for a short period of time, until they were browbeaten into coming to their senses (i.e. a critical mass of people threatened to cancel their memberships and never return), the Breast Cancer Survivors Forum had to be renamed “the Hooter Cancer Survivors Forum.” I wish I was making that up.
Ms. Kate: Teeenypeeenee!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!! Oh, I LUV it!
I will confess that my husband and I have pet names for our respective genitalia (which I will not burden you with), but it really wasn’t until I read this that the reason why we did so became clear (I think).
The slang terms for genitalia are all-too-often used as insults. The one phrase absolutely guaranteed to turn me into a raging homicidal maniac is “Stupid cunt!” The second phrase is to hear my husband called a “dickhead.” Excuse me? Some of the greatest pleasure available comes to us through our genitals, and we use the terms for them as insults - to hurt and degrade?!
Since neither of us want to insult the other, we simply don’t use those slang terms as part of our sexual repertoire (although “fuck me, fuck me!” is pretty popular
).
As far as clinical terms go, clinical terms should be used in clinical situations - i.e., we’re discussing actual medical conditions, or talking about specific areas that need to be touched/not touched, etc. Sexual arousal is not part of the equation.
But the use of the pet names - for us, anyway, it makes the sexual situation more intimate. There’s no doubt as exactly who’s equipment is being referred to, and there’s no doubt that love and affection are what’s being offered and experienced. Even when it makes me laugh (and yes, I realize it’s probably pretty immature), it also makes me feel loved. I think that’s really the important point.
I always liked “schlong” for penis and “gotch” for vagina. I like how they sound dirty and like they want to get down to business. Also, they are almost onomatopoetic.
I don’t know what’s going on with this ridiculous computer. If this goes twice, sorry.
I have always like “schlong” for penis and “gotch” for vagina. They are great, dirty-sounding words with a vague onomatopoeticness.
Coming a bit late to this, I know, but like a great many people in the British Commonwealth I grew up referring to my vulvar area as a “fanny”.
Unfortunately, globalised TV has meant that we’re all too aware that in US English “fanny” means “bottom”, and so it’s tended to die out. It’s a real shame, because it was used fairly unselfconsciously as slang equivalent to “cock” as slang for the penis, without being turned into an insult in the way that pussy/cunt/twat have been.
In Britain itself “fanny” may still hold sway, although “vag” seems to be common if British TV comedies are anything to go by, as well as “punani” (which I first heard from Ali G, but apparently is quite widely used).
“Vajayjay” does strike me as overly infantilising, but I don’t entirely hate it.
P.S. still can’t believe he wrote “open for business”. What a numpty.
Oh, and “poon” is hilarious for precisely one reason: because it’s my boyfriend’s surname. The genderbending dirty jokes, they make themselves.
That great turn of phrase cannot be executed at all with the word vajayjay.
But I honestly do not see what your constant war on the Nice Guise is all about. Not all people participating in the ‘Nice’ Guise have the sense of entitlement you are suggesting in other posts.
“Smerconish doesn’t view vaginas as warmly inviting and would like to blame feminists for the lack of warm vaginal invitations (italics mine) into his life.”
That great turn of phrase cannot be executed at all with the word vajayjay.
Vajayjicitation