Panties from mushycat.
Phill Kline has now become the iconic panty-sniffer. It’s not up to the “santorum” level yet, but marrying the words “panty-sniffer” and “Phill Kline” is one of the minor victories of the blogosphere. Kansas voters kicked his creepy ass out of the attorney general’s office after he made a name for himself by spending taxpayer money to harass Planned Parenthood non-stop and especially to get them to release confidential patient files. Now he’s got another job—Johnson County District Attorney—and he’s back to his old tricks.
It’s almost kind of sad. He just knows that Planned Parenthood has piles of files about girls who do it just laying around and he can’t read them! It’s so weird—surely in our day and age, men like him can scratch that urge to read about girls who do it at some of our finer well-funded text-based websites out there. I guess there’s always the suspicion that even sex bloggers are making it up, which kills the mood. Sure, the files at Planned Parenthood read kind of dry. Describing a patient as a 22-year-old sexually active female who received a D&C abortion is lean on the details that tend to get more fanciful writers into one of Susie Bright’s anthology, but I do suppose that Planned Parenthood files have a certain authenticity to them, if that’s your thing.
Still, grown-ups realize that not every fantasy can be realized without crossing ethical boundaries, and harassing women, hurting clinics, and wasting taxpayer money to realize the medical file-reading fantasy fits right into that category of “better imagined than done”. Maybe someone could write some erotica about finally getting to read about Pap smears and D&Cs and send it to Kline so he can get an idea of how to tell the difference between fantasies and reality?
I’m half tempted to start a pledge drive of women sending used panties to Phill Kline and co-current donations to Planned Parenthood to help them defend against this harassment. He’d probably use the power of his office to level harassing charges against us for violating some sort of biohazard law.
29 Responses to “Someone buy Phill Kline some used panties!”
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mushycat! mushycat! rah rah rah!
Oh ho ho;
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=where+is+your+god+now%3F
………..
Person1: I got some used panties from a vending machine in Japan. They came with a photo of the last person who wore them. And it was a dude.
Person2: WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?
by Stefan Gagne Washington, DC Jun 1, 2005
What would it take to move you away from half-tempted to “let’s do it”?
A bottle of wine and some assurances that he wouldn’t secretly love it.
I’m having some beaujolais right now I’d share with you…and I could send in some underwear too…..
it’d be a hell of a lot more interesting than the goddamned red sox
Does this guy ever actually, you know, enforce laws against criminals? Or does he just leave that to his staff while he tilts at abortion windmills?
I had no idea idea this dork was DA in Johnson County. I live there and I’m already concerned enough about rapists and kidnappers here without the DA being a pervert.
Ugh, I really hate it here.
I’d prefer the cake, thanks.
Where do I mail the undies?
Go Indians /embarrassment>
Don’t send that creep valuable panties! Only the most disgusting panties. Make sure a cat has peed in them first. Otherwise, you are just rewarding the guy!
Or use them instead of toilet paper.
How about threadbare period stained panties? Only sluts don’t get pregnant all the time!
Phil Kline makes me want to bang my head against the wall. The man needs a brain transplant. He and Ann Coulter are from the same material.
If I were in JoCo at the moment (resident, out of state for college), I’d find a whole bunch of stinky panties and fill his office with them.
Or something else. I can’t think of what kind of vandalism an office as vile as his deserves.
OMG CAKE OR DEATH PANTIES!!! I MUST HAVE THEM!!!!
Ahem. Beg pardon. Eddie Izzard references on undergarments get me a little worked up.
A bottle of wine and some assurances that he wouldn’t secretly love it.
Include a picture of Jeff wearing them.
Bonus points if Jeff has a visible erection.
Eh. Some people get off on the smell of fecal. I wouldn’t want to take that risk.
OTOH, The smell of fermenting cat urine (esp if the cat is diabetic) is particularly offensive. How lucky for us that I have just such a cat who can be made to piss on cue . . All I have to do his haul out the cat carrier.
No way. he might be a Larry Craig Republican using all of this for cover. Republicans don’t get to play with or see me in my underwear.
Maybe you could wash the used panties. That way he might be less likely to enjoy them (?), and he couldn’t go after you with the biohazard thingie (don’t think he wouldn’t; he’s a wingnut).
Mercurial Georgia, you win the interwebs for Stephan Gagne reference!
No way. he might be a Larry Craig Republican using all of this for cover. Republicans don’t get to play with or see me in my underwear.
That’s pretty fucking selfish, Jeff - we’ve asked people to do far worse…
Indeed. There’s a very interesting book about Muslim women, called Nine Parts of Desire, by Australian journalist Geraldine Brooks.
http://www.geraldinebrooks.com/
Somewhere in there she mentions a Saudi Arabian woman who visited a doctor (probably a woman doctor, not just because her society wouldn’t want her looked at by a man but also because most Saudi MDs are women) and it turned out she had no idea what menstruation was–she’d been married before menarche and the moment she became fertile she became pregnant, and had had half a dozen babies or more and never experienced a period. (Apparently no one ever told her to expect one either–perhaps ordinary menstruation was why she visited the doctor).
Brooks also talks about the time she was in a Saudi airport, and the security guards demanded to investigate her luggage for contraband. When they found her pads or tampons or whatever, they demanded to know what these were; when she began to explain it to them they got flustered and slammed the luggage shut, asking no more questions and hurrying her out of their checkpoint.
So yeah, these panty care packages might have very interesting effects on this guy. Just remember–insanity can be a bit unpredictable.
since he seems to get off on the idea of young woman having sex I’d suggest you mail him some giant plain white “granny” panties instead…..
I’m half tempted to start a pledge drive of women sending used panties to Phill Kline and co-current donations to Planned Parenthood to help them defend against this harassment. He’d probably use the power of his office to level harassing charges against us for violating some sort of biohazard law.
Yeah, I’m pretty sure he’d argue that cooties are a biohazard.
Speaking as a worker in the ever glamorous sex industry… yeah, used panties qua used panties are illegal to send through the mail.
Not often–and when he does he’s not exactly competent.
You all are aware that Mr. Kline actually stole the patient charts, no? Here’s the timeline:
November 2006 - Paul Morrison, Johnson County district attorney, defeats Kline and becomes the new Kansas Attorney General.
January 5, 2007 - Kline forwards copies of patient charts to the Johnson County district attorney’s office.
January 8, 2007 - Kline leaves the state attorney general’s office for the Johnson County district attorney’s office where he replaces Morrison as the new district attorney.
…
June 2007 - Morrison also informs Comprehensive Health that Kline, the Johnson County district attorney, retains copies of the patient charts and he finally tells the clinic about Kline forwarding copies of the charts to the Johnson County district attorney’s office on Jan. 5.
I propose that we immortalize him in the lexicon. The line between where his nose ends and where my panties begin, shall henceforth be known as the “Phillk Line.” As in, “your nosiness about my sex life really crosses the Phillk Line.”
StaticAge, that article you linked to is absolutely appalling. This guy is more useless than tits on a boar.