David Bowie donates $10,000 to the defense of the Jena 6. (Via.)
Barry Manilow refuses to go on “The View” unless they guarantee him they won’t get wingnut Elisabeth Hasselback. He cites her dangerous, mean-spirited right wing views as the reason. I don’t blame him; if I had to sit across from her, it would be pretty hard not to start up a nasty political argument with her. I do have to disagree with people who think that she’s been the source of the downfall for the show. Maybe; I don’t watch it. But, from what I’ve seen, it seems to me that Hasselback could potentially be reflecting back to all the conservative housewives in the country that parroting your husband’s bigoted, hateful opinions doesn’t make you look nearly as smart as you’ve been led to believe. A thought.
Anyway, question time. Death Is Not An Option: Barry Manilow or Paul Anka? Except this time it isn’t sex with them, but being stranded on a desert island with only their entire catalog as music.
66 Responses to “Popular musicians do good things”
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Manilow or Anka?
Death is always an option.
Manilow, easy. I’m pretty sure there’s more of it, and that way I’d have more to burn while still being able to set aside at least one sharpened bit of plastic or vinyl for use in my eventual suicide.
Does Paul Anka’s “entire catalog” include any album with any artist recording one of his songs, or only Anka himself? I’m just checking if I get to bring my Elvis Aloha From Hawaii double album.
I have a real soft spot for Barry Manilow, to tell the truth. Yes, his ’70s hits were both syrupy and discoriffic, but he sure could write a memorable melody and had a way with a phrase.
Plus, if you choose Manilow, you’re allowed to bring all that big-band revivalist stuff he did, so at least you can switch off your dignity and cut a little desert island rug.
Neil Diamond
Manilow,
Anyone who got his start as Bette Midler’s pianist in gay bathhouses can’t be all bad.
Well, since we’re discounting death, I’d take Manilow … but then, it would probably end up the same anyway.
Oh, and btw, good on Manilow for standing up against Hasselback. That woman gives way too much validity to insanity and stupidity.
Sarah
He didn’t stand up, he ran away.
Libertarian -
And that comment is precisely an example of why I give nothing you say any credence whatsoever.
Anka. Because his “entire catalog” would include the film Girls Town and I could happily waste a goodly portion of my life watching Mamie Van Doren shimmy around in tight dresses. Rowr.
Anka, but the only somng I’d listen to is the endearing version of Van Halen’s “Jump” from his surprisingly non-ironic rock covers album.
Most European-Americans (like myself) can trace our history on this continent back to an ancestor who “ran away.” It’s a legitimate response to a stacked deck.
Libertarian, when the going gets tough, the smart get lost!
Consider it a selection effect for intelligence, PROVIDED that said departing person doesn’t require or glorify the brave sacrifices of others for his own vanity wars …
Cris
Well yeah, but the deck is stacked the other way on The View. Couldn’t he hide behind Joy or something?
Ooooo, swipe at Manilow’s masculinity! Because, you know, real men (cue caveman grunting sounds) don’t hide behind teh womenz!
Oh God, Amanda, how I hate thee. Ugh, I’d have to take Manilow.
Libertarian, I’m sure that you tell yourself that someone is “running away” when what they’re doing is saying, “good god, dealing with stubborn idiocy is not worth my time”. Doesn’t make it true. And yes she does know what she’s missing and no, she probably isn’t bad in bed anyway.
Definitely Manilow. Besides, one could always dress oneself in cocoanut shells and pretend to be Lola from “Cocacabana”.
Manilow. I know it’s entertaining to make fun of him, but his songs are still damn catchy (which is part of the reason people hate him so, but I digress). Sort of like Paul Williams — sure he wrote a lot of syrupy songs in the 70s, but doesn’t everyone have a soft spot for “The Rainbow Connection”?
Regarding the other piece of news, I’m glad to once again have my teenage crush on David Bowie justified.
An interview with Hasselbeck would be the nearly same as going on the 700 Club. Why not run away? There’s nothing to be gained. I wouldn’t do that kind of violence to myself.
Well, Manilow doing Anka covers? Oh, ok, Manilow covering Anka’s cover of Black Hole Sun–that would distract me from being stranded on a desert island pretty handily.
Manilow of course. I don’t think i could get through a single listening of Moon River without trying to poke out my eardrums. Right around the time the lyrics get to “My huckleberry friend”.
Oh and that new chick on The View makes Hasselbeck look like Stephen Hawking.
Hey, Paul Anka rocks!
By the way, ya, they managed to find someone stupider than that dumb blond wingnut.
Why can’t we have David Bowie instead? Why did you have to bring Paul Anka into it?
Oops, it’s already been posted…
Definitely Manilow! He came and he gave without taking.
Wow. I have always loved Barry, but now I almost don’t have to be ashamed of it!
Another vote for Manilow. While his songs do drive me nuts, it’s mostly because they play themselves over and over in my head, rather than because of any inherent dislike of them. Some of them are catchy, and Manilow himself seems like a decent guy.
Barry Manilow or Paul Anka? Except this time it isn’t sex with them, but being stranded on a desert island with only their entire catalog as music.
I think whichever’s catalogue is big enough to build a reflective roof over my shelter.
It’s not running away; it’s refusing to give any authority to an idiot like Hasselbeck.
Yes, idiot. She went off on Plan B and claimed it was the same as an abortion. Because she doesn’t know any better. Thanks to her platform onThe View, she was able to disseminate bad info nationwide.
I’d pick Anka, though Manilow is a guilty pleasure. Anka’s got a wider range. And Manilow has a lisp.
Yes, he does! And once you notice it, you can never forget it.
Lisping singers drive me NUTS! Only thing worse is singers who sing all around the note and can’t hold a tone for more than a quarter note’s length of time.
OK, reality is, I can’t stand the music of either one. But as MAJeff says, anyone who started as Bette Midler’s piano player can’t be all bad, even if he did also coin the old MacDonald’s commercials.
And since Paul Anka’s catalog includes that paean to the patriarchy “You’re Having My Baby” it becomes more and more of a no-brainer choice.
So Manilow, with great trepidation.
Amanda:
Actually, I think Libertarian is trying to justify his own behaviour around here. He’s implying that Manilow would be as outclassed intellectually on the View as Libby is around here, and calling him a coward for not being pompous and self-obsessed enough to tough it out anyway.
Sit on beach, stare at the sunset with toes in the sand and stuffed coconut leaves in both ears. The only sane choice.
Lest we forget, there isa whole other strand of cultural DNA traceable to Barry Manilow - JINGLES! http://www.barrynet.com/commercialjingles.html
Appears that his early work was rather intentionally sticky as in “I’m stuck on band-aids …”.
Yep. Mind control!
Manilow. Joe Queenan’s book on schlock America mentions him as someone who doesn’t fit the bill: he’s a fucking trouper.
Also, he did a storming solo piano performance of ‘Could It Be Magic’ on a British chat show, long after it had entered the public consciousness as an up-tempo pop cover by Take That. It’s a fantastic song.
And being bumped from The View gave him another joke for his bit with Colbert.
Anka.
Sorry, I’d take treacly ’50s/’60s pop over treacly ’70s pop anytime. Plus he’s Canadian.
Dammit, Ms Kate, I ran out of palm leaves!!! Gonna have THAT in my ears all afternoon…
No hesitation, give me the Manilow, I’ll last longer before trying to kill myself with sea water, and “Mandy” has potential.
I used to watch The View for Star Jones (I love to see fat women in mainstream media!) and Joy Behar, but I got sick of looking for things to throw at the screen when Meredith Vieira would say something pinheaded (every 10 minutes!). Kept wanting to knock her head into Barbara Walters’. I gave up after a while and realized that there wasn’t anything on the show that Oprah Winfrey hadn’t been doing for decades. When I want to hear women discussing politics, I go to the blogosphere. The celebrity gossip, I don’t miss.
Manilow without a doubt.
Not that Ms. IMS would ever be caught in such a situation. She’d either have slipped in a Pogues CD somehow or would hurl herself in front of whatever oncoming vehicle was handy before being shipped off to said desert island.
Oh Bowie.
I’d have to go with Manilow. He has enough stuff across enough types of pressings to build some good furniture out of and if we get the sheet music then I’ve got firestarter and bedding. I can bang rocks together for entertainment.
“You’re Having My Baby” is the difference maker here. Give me Barry.
Is self-lobotomization an option? Or even a word?
Manilow, because “You’re Having My Baby” is, hands down, the worst song ever written. I still have nightmares about it. And, like many 70s icons, Barry’s grown on me over the years.
The choice between Paul Anka and Barry Manilow isn’t even remotely difficult. I don’t mind “Put Your Head on My Shoulder,” but the rest of Anka’s catalogue is pretty forgettable, IMHO. On the other hand, Manilow has some great stuff. I can even enjoy some of his ’70s stuff totally unironically.
+10 Manilow for being Midler’s pianist back in the day
-infinity Anka for “Having My Baby”
If there’s a hell, you know that’s playing 24/7
Everytime “Having My Baby” gets mentioned I think of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir version of it from WKRP in Cincinnati, and i chuckle.
I like Manilow. I also like Neil Diamond, so maybe my taste isn’t all that great, but it makes me happy.
pablo:
That’s the “Hallelujah Tabernacle Choir” version.
Right Now.
Anyway, Manilow. A good atheist egg.
My top 5 list of the most annoying pop songs of all time.
1. You’re Having My Baby - Paul Anka
2. Watching Scotty Grow - Bobby Goldsboro
3. In The Year 2525 - Zager and Evans
4. Honey - Bobby Goldsboro
5. Young Girl - Gary Pucket & the Union Gap
Honorable mention goes to Terry Jacks for the truly barf worthy Seasons In The Sun.
I guess I’m going to have to go with Manilow.
Manilow. I’d probably even enjoy some of it. I have low taste in music.
…and it so happened that I got Bowie’s 1975 album Young Americans. The main album by Bowie I am looking for is the very next one, 1976’s Station to Station (because it has the his longest song, which is also the title track of the album.
Kudos, also to Barry Manilow, for refusing to go on the view because of that extremist Mrs. Matt Hasselbeck.
Interesting footnote on “Having My Baby,” though — allegedly, Anka later performed it live as “Having Our Baby,” partially thanks to protest from Humorless Feminists, which I suppose makes it marginally less noxious (though still simpy). But I presume Amanda doesn’t allow substitutions of live versus studio versions, so Barry still wins. Read ‘Em and Weep! (I actually like that one.)
YOU DON’T LIKE IN THE YEAR 2525!??!?!?!?!?!?
THat song rocks!
I was RILLY RILLY waffling between Manilow and Anka, until someone mentioned You’re Having my Baby.
THat’s the clincher. I gotta go with Barry.
But I would take Diamond over EITHER of them.
Well, we can also thank Anka for those immortal lyrics from “Diana”; “I’m so young/ and you’re so old!”
Just what every woman wants to hear!
Oh god, yes, “Seasons in the Sun.” A rip-off travesty of an absolutely fantastic Jacques Brel song (Le Moribond). After having “Seasons in the Sun” inflicted on me over and over, one of my friends sat me down at one point and played the original. I nearly fell out of my chair–the lyrics are so completely different and work together beautifully with that perky little tune–it’s very sardonic and, well, French.
(BTW, there’s a lot of really good snippets of Jacques Brel on YouTube. Damn, he was a good singer.)
Oh, and I’d have to go with Manilow, simply because I will stab myself with an icepick if I ever have to listen to “My Way” again (one of the hoary survivors that always exists for gaijins to sing in Japanese karaoke bars.)
I would have picked Manilow anyway, on a musical basis, but Anka apparently doesn’t mind getting a long abusive rant on a la Buddy Rich:
http://www.noisetank.com/integrity/
Libertarian: He didn’t stand up, he ran away.
Nah, he voted with his feet!
KMTB, the only thing that remotely redeems that horrible Zager & Evans song is the fact that it was adapted as the theme song for Cleopatra 2525.
Come on now— I have In The Year 2525 on 45 and it rocks my socks… As for Seasons in the Sun, it’s first on my antiwar mix cd because if i put it too close to Eve if Distruction I might realize how bad it sucks in comparison.
And even now, I choose Barry. What’s better than Barry for wishing you where somewhere else, with someone else? Than again perhaps I am just a gay man cause I could listen to him and Barbra all day.
Dude. I’ve always loved Barry. (And Neil. They were my two faves growing up. Blame my parents. Have seen them both live in the last 5 years. happy happy happy) Barry’s a fine lyricist, a consummate showman, and the proud owner of a great sense of humor. (Although whoever mentioned the commercial jingles will not be forgiven for getting the Very Strange Medley, or “VSM” for short, cf. the double Live album, stuck in my head for the night.)
But I never, ever, ever thought of him as having a presence in the political sphere.
Or of having a website!
Squeeeeee!
And even now, I choose Barry.
And it’s NerdGirlLauren with the second earworm FTW!
“Even now / when I have come so far / I wonder where you are / I wonder why it’s still so hard without you / Even now…”
Havin’ my Baby over Mandy. Tough call, though.
Smart move by Barry Manilow–alienate 1/2 of your audience the day you release your new CD.
I guess he doesn’t care if the CD sells or not.
What question could Elisabeth Hasselback ask him that would be so dangerous or offensive??
“…it seems to me that hasselback could potentially be reflecting back to all the conservative housewives in the country that parroting your husband’s bigoted, hateful opinions doesn’t make you look nearly as smart as you’ve been led to believe.”
perfect.