See my theory above: the four kids had discussed which of them was best able to take their mom in, but in order to get mom to agree to live with the gay son she’d rejected for so many years, the three straight kids had to specifically reject their mom first. Obviously Grateful Mom wasn’t let in on her children’s discussions, but when parents reject one of their children, they should expect that - if their children have any sense of family at all - that their children will simply exclude their parents from family discussions.

This isn’t animosity, I have about the best relationship with my mother of any of my siblings. It’s about sheer survival. My mother, when in close proximity for more than a few days, drives me insane. The last time we lived under the same roof for a few weeks nearly landed me in the hospital. My blood pressure went from 120/70 to 210/105 - and I was pregnant! Not pre-eclampsia either, within three days of moving out, my blood pressure was back to normal. Living with her would put me at serious risk for a stroke.

So - obligation to see that parents aren’t starving or neglected, yes. Obligation to live with them no matter what - no. I have an obligation to myself and my children, not just to my mother.

It also has that chicken-soup-for-the-soul sickliness with the hateful straight children (who, as people have pointed out, conveniently offer their mother nothing in lieu of housing room). I have no problem thinking this story is true, but it gives me the same bad taste in my mouth that I get from reading glurge email forwards.

She may have “given him life” but the conditional love she’s demonstrating isn’t worth it. If I were him, honestly, I’d cut her out. I’m not going to tell him to do that; it’s his decision. Reconciliation may be possible, but it’s her responsibility. If she ain’t willing, good bye.

She lived with my parents for over 25 years, and while she was tremendously helpful with helping my mom manage the needs of us five kids, she could be a mean and judgmental person. She openly derided my father to us children, for example, telling us how he wasn’t good enough for our mother.

When my mom, after about 20 years, asked that she spend a few months with my uncle (a man whom my grandmother made clear to my mom always made better decisions that she did), my grandmother was manipulative and talked about how pushing her out like that was just like shooting her, etc. And, of course, after she spent a couple of months there, she was welcomed back to our home as she’d always been. After that short break, she stayed with us until she was too ill to do so, at which point she moved to a hospice and passed away.

Point being, it was tough sometimes having my grandmother live with us, and she and my mother were very close. I can’t imagine what it would be like for children who had a strained relationship, and I can’t blame kids who feel like it’s too much to share their home with one or more parents.

I’m happy for Grateful Mom, I’m touched by the kindness of her wonderful son and his partner, and I’m happy that such kindness was repaid with long overdue kindness as well. It’s nice to see a happy ending, and if it makes more older people see their gay children in a kinder way (even for a self-serving reason), then I’m happy to see this letter. I was sad to see the way she started her letter (three of her kids married well and the other turned out gay, meaning that he turned out poorly? Yeesh. Why do I feel like she still hasn’t gotten all the way to acceptance?), but the ending was touching nonetheless.

My mother lost custody of me in the 1970s in a Southern state. Yes, it was that bad. To this day the woman is not right in the head, and has managed to alienate both her parents and her kids. She lied to her older son about his origins his entire life and he had to find out the guy that he believed was his biological father wasn’t, when his actual biodad died. Yet she insists she’s done nothing to her kids and doesn’t understand why the older son is less than polite to her.

And yet I would take her in if I had to, I’d give her a place to stay and I’d just figure it out. There are some things you just do. I wouldn’t let my kids starve, either–frankly, if they were so badly behaved that I had to kick them out they would probably be breaking the law too, and the logical outcome of that is they go to jail. I wouldn’t do anything to keep them from going to jail if they deserved to go, but nobody deserves to be homeless.

We wouldn’t need homeless shelters and the like if people would fulfill their familial obligations.