I did, of course, say something about this, and not at all passive-aggressively; I attacked the matter at its head. That was how I found out about the woman in the swimsuit. Bob told me that he was only looking, which was harmless, and that he was with me. Well, there is a difference between looking harmlessly and ogling, and certainly a difference between looking harmlessly and ogling as you turn your wife in a circle while you’re kissing her, so that you can get a better look. I wasn’t bothered by “just looking”, as we had agreed that both sexes look and that harmless looking bothered no one. But this still bothers me to this day, five years after his death and 18 years after it happened.

BTW, that is why I find his comment threads entertaining and, sometimes, informative. Tennis is really just an effective carnival barker.

If the men looking at your prize-wife are doing so in a way that makes their own wives feel inferior and unwanted, yes.

Nope, I still don’t see any excuse for making your significant other feel like they’re second choice. No one’s offered a reasonable excuse for exploiting basic human insecurities to get a leg up on someone yet.

My attitudes about relationships are perhaps a tad more bohemian than most. I see no reason to get married, at least before you’re getting up in years where the financial benefits become more inescapable. As an institution, I don’t really care for it, no. I’m admittedly weird on this, but my point remains: Long-term monogamous relationships that may or may not have marriage as an endpoint are incredibly common and recognized. They’re “committed” on a certain level, in that most people have a time after they’ve been dating for a bit that they agree to monogamy. Once that’s happened, you’re not married….but you’re definitely not single.

But the idea that because you are dating a guy that he must never look for something better is silly.

No, I think it’s just basic morality not to entangle someone in a LTR, married or not, if you’re going to be unfaithful. If you’re not happy, move on. Whether or not you’re married is irrelevant to that point.

fishboots- I think I made it clear that I agree with you and Amanda. My point was about the young woman complaining because she was dating a guy and he still was up on the dating web site. Unless you have a long term relationship with some sort of commitment, I don’t think you should expect your boyfriend to swear off all other females unless he is actually with you.

Well, we assume that they are in a committed relationship, because she used the word “boyfriend”. Plus he reassures her he’s not cheating, implying that there’s a prior agreement.

He posts so obsessively about Amanda that I’m starting to think this is a crush, schoolboy style, on his part.

Although, she does have a “thing� for Rachel Ray. Does ogling women on TV count?

I know a few people who have a thing for Rachel Ray. I know it’s fashionable in some foodie circles to hate her, but I kinda like her. I think she’s a scream.

WRT “it’s only looking, stop yer whining you manhaterz!!1!”–The defensiveness in some quarters over women pointing out that checking out other women so obviously (and in front of your girlfriend) is well, fucking rude. Jeez. I check guys out all the time, but a) I don’t do it in front of someone I’m involved with and b) I don’t ogle and make myself look like a desperate, entitled sniveling jackass.

IOW: A hot guy walks by and I’ll think “Wow, he’s hot.” If I’m with a woman friend, I might even say to her very quietly, “He’s hot, isn’t he?” NOT “I’d like to hit that” ”
I’d like to get in on that action” or “I’d like to fuck that.” I notice, think, move on. I don’t turn my head or look him up and down or any of that shit.

Boy, if that doesn’t make my mom (she’s not even 60) sound like Marge Simpson …

I’d also like to make note of the fact that when I’m with my partner, I’m usually paying attention to her and thus rarely notice other woman. And if I did notice someone, I’m certainly going to turn away and go back to paying attention to my partner. A quick peek is not worth hurting my partner’s feelings or making her feel inadequate. Although, she does have a “thing” for Rachel Ray. Does ogling women on TV count?

Ogling: Wow, check that hottt-ass fucktoy walking past me! *lascivious stare*