Posted by Helen H June 27, 2007 in Don't You Turn My Red State Blue, Fun stuff
57 Responses to “It had to happen eventually”
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Heterosexists!!
water => computer monitor
LOL!
What a scam. That server doesn’t even exist.
At least they didn’t ask for my credit card number.
I’m with Jeff here … you lot are as bad as eHarmony!!! Homophobes! Heterosexists!!
Heeeyyyy. What are you doing getting our hopes up, posting pictures of two women who are already
properly under the boot of other mentaken?Yes, but will the eventual babies be purple?
I’d hit it.
Oh, wait, did I mess up already?
As a “Northern” white liberal straight male, I’m fairly comfortable mocking Northern white liberal straight males.
Beyond that, we’re into shades of grey.
Figuratively speaking.
You’d have sex with a web page? That sounds kind of llke a Wisconsin thing.
Well, as long as we’re talking about onanistic sex, that pretty much sums up most warblogs, right?
mmm…onanism…[gurgle, gurgle]
Well, as long as we’re talking about onanistic sex, that pretty much sums up most warblogs, right?
Hell, that sums up about 80% of teh intarwebs, last I checked.
Hey, are you lot insulting those whose sexual preferences lean towards the pixelated object choice? You bigots you.
The sad thing is that we have arrived at a point where it’s hard to tell parody from reality. The whole notion of ‘exotic’ RS partners made me queasy
This had me going for a bit. I thought, “Hey, if this is a red state dating site, why would anyone advertise as a ‘feminist’. And dang if that first woman don’t look familiar.” In my defense, though, I am stoned. So there ya go.
Like sjk, the “exotic” tag for “red-state partners” threw me at first. I’ve run into a whooole lot of guys here in red-state Georgia whose idea of “exotic” means “subservient mail-order bride, and not some uppity American woman ruined by feminism”. That or some sort of Asian fetish thing. Those cats are all over the place ’round here.
Sadly, my bangs have grown out and I’m rocking hair like an anchorwoman.
Hey, are you lot insulting those whose sexual preferences lean towards the pixelated object choice? You bigots you.
Just move a few miles north, sister. M’Waukee will love your perverted little self.
Indeed, your heresy, Sarah, has left me but with one option for pennance: YOU NEED TO GET LAID!
Do I know any Republicans with bangs like that? Yeah, but they’re usually on dudes.
I like the idea. You just know that Carville and his Mrs. have some great angry sex. Mmmmmmm, angry sex! Bites on the shoulders. Eyes drilling holes in your skull while you go at it. Hands that scratch odd patterns in the back and thighs. Passion!
As for Texan fillies, pshaw! Though I do own a quirt.
Hey Pandagonians! If you have Turner Classic Movies put it on at 8 tonight for Advise and Consent! Top 3 American political film, I would think.
It’s on as part of a Gay Pride Month series.
Watch it! I mean it! And no, I am not related to Gore Vidal or Henry Fonda or situated in any way to gain from it.
We considered starting a more inclusive site, but it turns out that Mass. doesn’t have an amnesty program.
We’re working on that. The Governor, Speaker of the House, Senate Majority leader, and (reportedly) majorities of both houses are in favor of repealing the 1913 law that keeps out of state couples from coming here. We may be ready to set up that amnesty program sooner than you think.
And if Massachusetts gets too crowded, you could always annex Maine back into the fold for space!
Oh my god, I freaked out a couple of Mainers on the T the other day.
The whole train was drunk it seemed, so we were all bullshitting about nothing. I mentioned something about beer and vodka and this mainer says, “ah, you been buying that for the ladies?”
I respond, “Why would i do that? I’m buying it for the boys.”
A look of complete shock came over his face.
“Uh oh, I freaked out the Mainer, I said.”
Then we got to his stop and he got off the train.
I actually clicked on the button….
Um-m?
Heeheeheehee! As a native Mainer who escaped for a decade, travelled the country and came back, that’s HILARIOUS! And it’s so damned easy to mess with their minds.
I’ve been trying to get my best pal to come with me as my “date” for our class reunion next year, but she is afraid to play along. And I do so like dress up…
MAJeff, I think I just sprained something laughing here.
“Uh-oh, I freaked out the Mainer.”
“pixelated object choice” - wouldn’t this be the mouse pointer? Or would the term be “pixelated object chooser”? Either way, I’d totally hit that, especially when the arrow turns into that little hand grab thingy on google maps.
Come to think of it, it does have more “zing” than, “Remember the Maine.” Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Lauren: DEALBREAKER.
There’s always VT and RI and CT. We could try to take New England from blue to ultraviolet. Still, ME and NH would take a lot of work to bring along….
Auguste, there must be some kind of glitch with your new web site, I clicked like mad on the Begin Tour button but nothing happened.
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oh.
damn!, I am so mortified
[ok, I got it, its funny as hell.]
well, ME has a domestic partnersrhip registry, and NH has civil unions now…..
although with NH, I think it’s just been enacted, but not gone into effect yet.
Oudemia, we flipped the channel over to Turner after about 2 minutes of watching Paris and Larry King (sorry; love a good train wreck)- never heard of this movie before, and it’s very good!
I suspect NH would be an easier sell than Maine- heck, it took us 5 years to teach my dad to use the microwave, let alone the VCR. Old timers are resistant as hell to changing their ideas and for some reason, they all live to be about 145 years old or so.
Ewwwww! (and per Charlie, when did “Vincent the Chin” become President?)
Jon–seriously, ugh, don’t give us the imagery of James Carville and Mary Matalin doing THAT. Jeez. Wow.
Amanda still looks like Helen Clark, and that scares me.
yeah, I was totally buying it until I got to “Nice Guys ™”.
Actually, I do know a Republican with bangs like that. And she kicks ass at Risk.
I think I’ll clarify something:
This is not a spoof of dating sites. It is a spoof of an internet industry, but not of dating sites.
Wait a second! You have a “feminist filly’s” picture up there, on a site, redstatebrides.com, yet I was certauin, certain! that she had said that she didn’t believe in (opposite sex) marriage before.
What guarantees do you have that, when I send this to my best friend (who does need a wife, and also lives in horse country), she’sll fulfill her end of the bargain and actually marry him?
He’s six feet tall, has black hair and blue eyes — just like Conan the barbarian!
WHAT!?! No Marlboro Man?
Speaking of Onanism …
In Jacksonville FL, right off I-295 (?) is some sort of factory or warehouse called, and I kid you not, Onan Cummings [whatever it is they do].
So, Dana’s admitted his buddy is into mail order brides.
so, are you red-state ladies nice and “submissive” and “traditional”?
ROFLMFAO. Thanks Auguste. Made my week.
Red state blue state. Makes me think of Bette Midler’s line from “For the Boys” (I think): “It was definitely purple. But I don’t think it was his heart.”
“Onan Cummings”
Dang, that was a brand new keyboard!
No, Jeff, I’m just tryin’ to help him out.
OK, OK, the real reason is because I want to stand there, as his best man, watching our very lovely hostess walking down the aisle, her eyes shining and her skin flushed with eager anticipaition, in her beautiful white wedding gown. I just know that such would bring a tear to my eye.
[We are supposed to be having fun with this thread, right?]
LEGAL NOTICE!
To all persons and those hereby given notice:
Be you advised that under the Bridal Registration Act passed under the previous Congress I own the rights and options on both ladies. Bids will be graciously accepted.
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And no, the ladies DON’T get a say in it. That was rather the whole point.
Oh, I wish I could have had my marriage brokered for me instead of the old fashioned way of doing it myself… Viva Progress and the Internet!
God, there’s nothing worse than a funny thread derailed by a wingnut who doesn’t quite get how to be funny.
“Funny” and “wingnut” together is a contradiction in terms…
That’s awesome. THE best thing I’ve seen all day. Week. Month?
I want to stand there, as his best man, watching our very lovely hostess walking down the aisle, her eyes shining and her skin flushed with eager anticipaition, in her beautiful white wedding gown.
Come on, man, you can do better than that. No burqas, six-inch heels, or restored hymens? (Unless that’s what the white gown was getting at.) You want to be offensive, you’re going to have to act like you’re trying.
Maine is a terrible place to live, it’s true. But at least we drive better than you Massholes.
And we Mainers already defeated one ‘AMG SAVE TEH STR8 MARRIAGE’ campaign in recent years, so why not another? We’d send our moose cavalry south and surround VT and CT, leaving the big city MA types to send in bomb squads to NH’s border firework caches-perhaps you could commandeer some Big Dig equipment and tunnel in?
Meanwhile, a joint Cape/Mainer naval fleet could take RI quite easily.