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I’ve mentioned during Friday cat blogging before that I have combined households with my boyfriend and in doing so, have mixed it up cat-wise, adding Molly and Dusty to a mix with Marc’s (temporary) cat Fiona.* As expected, things were horrible and hostile for awhile. Dusty and Molly were so pissed off that they had to deal with a new cat that they turned on each other as well as on Fiona. For a few days, the three cats just lived in 3 different rooms and each sat at their respective doors staring each other down. Then, the fighting began and after awhile, it got to the point where Fiona just had to glare at the other two and they would hide under the bed.
It seemed a solution had been found. Fiona had established her alpha status, now all we had to do was wait, and they’d chill out, right?
Well, I think it would have worked that way if Dusty hadn’t decided that losing her alpha status to Fiona was a blow to her ego unlike any other blow to any ego in all of history. She has nursed a grudge against Fiona and has decided that she’s going to try to restart hostilities in any way she can in order to make a grab for that alpha status. In the process, she has become a giant pain in the ass.
For one thing, she walks around the house growling and being pissed off half the time, just keeping her resentment on simmer. Occasionally, if Fiona is all the way across the apartment, she’ll chill out a little and play and let you rub her belly, like it was old times, but then suddenly she remembers that she’s At War and will jump up and double check her enemy’s coordinates.
But most of her time is spent stalking Fiona. She has turned into the cat version of Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction.** I half expect to come home one day and find one of Fiona’s mouse toys boiling in a cup of coffee. Dusty follows her around the house in full predator mode, stalking her for hours and then, when Fiona’s guard is completely down (which it actually is most of the time, since Fiona finds this all very tiresome), Dusty will run up and try to start a fight. If she’s lucky, she scares the crap out of Fiona, who hides behind the couch. If she’s unlucky, she gets beat up.
Of course, sometimes Dusty is so agitated that she can’t even go so far as to go through this process and instead just follows Fiona around while growling and occasionally hissing. Meanwhile, all this drama has made Molly even jumpier than she usually is.
We’re trying to discourage Dusty’s behavior. If we catch her stalking or growling at Fiona, we’ll snap a towel, clap our hands, or often spray her in the ass with a bottle of water that I’ve labeled “The Cat Whisperer”. Slowly, this is beginning to work. Dusty is chilling out a little more each day. She was chilling out for 10 minutes a day last week and is chilling out for 20, 30 minutes a day this week. Still, as you can imagine, we’d like to expediate the process and get her back to chilling out all day long.
So, Pandagonian hivemind: I know a lot of you are cat people. Do you have advice on how to get Dusty to back the fuck off?
*He wants it known he would not name a cat Fiona. This is his mom’s cat, who were are keeping for the next 6-8 months.
**Feminist awareness section of this post: It’s been determined that the percentage of Hollywood films about violent female stalkers is directly proportional to the percentage of real world stalkers that are male. About 90% of violent stalkers in movies are women, and about 90% of violent stalkers in the real world are men. It’s unknown why Hollywood chooses to mislead the public on this issue, except perhaps to bolster erroneous anti-feminist claims that female-on-male violence is anywhere near the problem that male-on-female violence is.***
***In other words, that a woman scratches a man in an effort to get him off of her while he beats the shit out of her, that is not really evidence that “WOMEN HIT MEN, TWO, OHMIGOD!” No, not even if they both get treated in E.R., with him getting iodine put in his scratches and her getting put in ICU.****
****Yes, these footnotes are here to smoke out my crazy misogynist trolls so I can ban them for thread drift when they try to turn this into a thread proving creationist theories that the “real” sexism is against men. Consider yourselves warned, weirdoes.
96 Responses to “Sunday asking the hivemind for advice blogging”
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Wish I could help you, but I have a wackass cat of my own. Other cat people I know, though, swear by Rescue Remedy and Feliway pheremone spray.
Good luck with Dusty. Psycho-Evvie has to be an only cat; she’ll try to kill anything else in the house. *sigh*
Talk to your vet.
My cat developed an anxiety disorder this summer and started pulling her hair out when I started packing up my old apartment for the happy move away from the evil roommate (one of the few people I actually wish ill upon).
The initial ’script was liquid Chamomile extract (do NOT get the stuff with alcohol in it–just water). That helps calm some cats, but didn’t work for Harriet. She’s now been on Amitryptyline for a while. She hates pill time, but she’s much calmer, is no longer pulling out her hair. In fact, her tummy hair is actually starting to grow back. Be warned, though, that if the drug route is one that gets taken, the cats will be groggy as hell for a while until they get used to it.
Catnip.
I don’t know that you can speed up the process. Cats have to get accustomed to one another, while the original cats have to feel like they’re not giving up their status. I alays put the new cat in the bedroom with their own box and food so the other cats can get used to their scent for a while. It’s not a fast process, but my four regularly snuggle together and play all the time.
Good luck to you.
When my pal and I merged households just over two years ago, his alpha-male cat and mine became insta-enemies. We tried Feliway, room separation, Rescue Remedy, kitty Prozac (!!), shock collars (after a few blood-drawing fights). Nothing worked. My poor cat lost the alpha status, but compensated by pooping in the bathtub each morning, peeing on all carpeting (we had NO door mats, bath mats, nothing! for two years).
So…two years later. I didn’t breakup with my boyfriend, didn’t throw his cat out into the street, we just got a house with two floors and a door between. We have upstairs cats and a downstairs cat. We’ve been able to put down rugs safely, they are all happy, as far as I can tell. They still make faces at each other through the door (french windows).
I don’t mean to be all fear-mongering, but I still feel I did something wrong and missed a solution somewhere…but facts is some cats will never get along. But I’m always told that most cats do eventually get along, it requires extreme patience. So much luck to the household!
Yeah, my experience is like ginmar says- it’s a really long process, and will eventually play out. It took months for the cats to settle down last time I had to deal with a situation like this. There was the period of fighting and hissing, and then there were a couple of months where two of the three were just sort of pissy around each other.
I hope someone else has had better experience- it was no fun at all living with cats fighting for alpha status.
Do the numbers in Note 2 include the Lifetime (a/k/a Women In Peril) Channel?
Aside from that I’m afraid I don’t have much to contribute. The big issue is that cats are not natural pack animals, so dominance struggles can be unresolved for long periods of time. They don’t have a submission posture, for example, that they recognize instinctively.
hm. we had the same problem recently when we took in a friend’s cat for the week. the other two cats went into fight-with-everyone mode. the weird thing though is that lola, the guest cat, had actually been OUR cat a year ago, as a baby, and she and mario (our older cat) had gotten along decently. but the roommate who technically owned her moved out and too kher with him and i think his antisocial weirdness must’ve rubbed off on her.
funny thing is that lola would eat our cats’ food, and they would eat her cat food. like they were trying to steal each others’ lunch, but they were both doing it. dumb cats.
basically we just made them take turns going outside, to blow off some steam, and also to leave each one alone while we fed it. it’s only a temporary solution, because eventually you want them to just chill without being in different places, but it at least calms the house down a little. our cats are all indoor-outdoor though, maybe yours are not.
A friend of mine got her daughter a kitten (actually two kittens, long story) about two years ago because her daughter really wanted a kitten or a puppy to raise and since they already had a cat, my friend thought that the cat would adjust better to having new cats in the household rather than new dogs. Ha ha ha ha. (sigh) After two years, her original cat has finally, sort of, adjusted to the kittens to the point where she no longer tries to eat them if they cross her path, though she still acts astonished and enraged every time she enters a room and discovers once more that they’re STILL LIVING THERE.
I worked in animal shelters for years, and Feliway was the one consistently useful tool in such situations. It’s like instant kitty detente in a bottle. It won’t necessarily address the underlying hostilities—those, as everyone has said, may just nede to play out in time—but it usually helps the cats chill out in the meantime.
Negative reinforcement often isn’t terribly effective on cats, who tend to be very emotional and very influenced by associations. In other words, a cat who gets sprayed or snapped while tormenting another cat may simply think “See? Every time that cat’s around, I get wet. GOD DAMN THAT CAT.” If she’ll allow it, try to give Dusty lots of her favorite kinds of attention or treats when Fiona’s nearby.
And then wait. Some cats can keep this drama going for years, but most will tire of it and move on to other perceived affronts after a while.
About six months I added a cat that my ex-girlfriend could no longer take care of to my two pre-existing cats, Raoul and Cephus. I gave the new cat, Zora, a room of her own with her own catbox and food dishes, and kept the door of that room closed most of the day for a while the three cats were made aware of each others’ existences through scent. I’d let the cats interact under supervision for several minutes a day. Zora seriously tried to usurp Raoul’s alpha status, and was very nasty and hissy and scratchy toward him. Eventually Raoul won out the battle for dominance during these sessions and Zora adopted beta status along with Cephus. She would try to gain secondary dominance over Cephus, who is by far the biggest and strongest, but most scaredy, of the cats, but Raoul would enforce Cephus’s beta-A status over her beta-B status by chasing her away from him and making sure Cephus got to eat before her. But all three do eat from the same bowl and go in the same box with minimal hostility now.
What differs most in my situation from yours is that the newcomer cat wound up at the bottom of the hierarchy. But how long has it been since you put your cats together? It took a couple of months before my situation got settled and the cats stopped acting like a National Geographic Channel documentary.
Might sound silly, but I wonder if Dusty and Molly are getting vibes from their humans. Is Fiona being subtley being treated differently because she’s a “temporary” cat? Are the humans witholding some all out affection and bonding because you know you’re ultimately losing Fiona? Are Molly and Dusty picking up on this?
May the Great Cat have mercy on your souls…
May the Great Cat have mercy on your souls…
Don’t you mean the great mouse. The Disco Ball must be out of allignment.
I have three male cats. The first one we brought home is definitely the alpha male. We had him alone for a couple of months, and then I adopted a second male cat. We did what was recommended by the adoption agencies: putting the cats in seperate rooms and slowly letting them meet on their own terms. For the first few days, there was some hissing and spitting whenever they saw each other. I was afraid to leave the house because I worried that the alpha would attack the new cat in our absence.
However, it was only a matter of three days before the first cat established its alpha status and the second cat established its role as a loving aficionado. We came home from a bike ride expecting a massacre, but instead they were curled up in a ball together, licking and snuggling! Talk about a sea change.
The third cat was a feral stray who was on the verge of death when I brought him home (he was extremely malnourished and covered with fleas that I did not know about until the second day). $800 later (after he’d been to the vet’s for an emergency life-saving session and bath), he came home looking like an Etiopian stick horse. He really looked more like an alien from another planet than a cat. I was VERY concerned about a feral cat in the house; he’d attacked the vet after he’d recovered, and I wondered what he might do to my cats. However, a cat-person friend assured me that a feral cat would LOVE the other cats; it would just take a terribly long time to adjust to us humans.
This proved right; the feral cat ADORED the alpha male (who in turn patiently tolerates it, although he is not too crazy about the feral cat). The second cat had the hardest time with the new cat, since its obvious affection for the alpha was perceived as competition and a threat to its own place in the chain of command.
Over the course of the first few months, I tried to reassure the first two cats of their places in the hierarchy (and of my unwavering love for each of them). I feed them at the same time, but in seperate places since the feral cat eats very quickly and likes to steal food from the others after he’s done.
I discourage the feral cat from getting into our bed (which he’s become prone to doing because he likes my partner).
In short, I sort of try to reinforce the existing hierarchies between the cats. It’s been over four years since all three of them have been together, but they’ve integrated very well.
*** I did temporarily foster female cats during the time that these three male cats were home, and the introduction of a female cat totally changed the dynamic. I don’t know what it is about the female cats I brought home, but they were less willing to socialize and bond. They had a definite way of doing things that was different from the male cats, and seemed to have little interest in the other cats (their attention was totally wrapped up in the humans). Both times, the “trauma” of introducing a female cat (who scratched and scared the male cats) was enough to force me to return the female cats to the adoption agency.
I don’t know if “gender” is a relevant issue in the lives of cats, but in my experience male cats have been easier to aclimatize to one another than female cats. The female cats I’ve had also tend to be more vocal about their disapproval of other cats; this can be intimidating or upsetting to humans. I’m sure, however, that given enough time and loving support of all of the cats involved, everyone can get along.
Maybe it’s useful to give Dusty more POSITIVE feedback and love when she manages to chill out and be nice? Reward her good behavior and make her feel like she’s safe and loved. The transition must be hard for her, and maybe all the spraying and snapping of towels is getting to her, making her feel persecuted?
I pet the cat who has been the subject of the negative behavior while saying the bad cat’s name. We’ve got 4, all added at different times, and it seems to work. No theories, just the only things I could come up with.
I’ve done a lot of cat combining in my time. You might want to try giving Dusty more positive attention to reassure her that you don’t love Fiona more. Other than that, it just takes time.
I’ll throw my hat in the ring for Feliway. The stuff seems to work for my cats. When we introduced the third cat (as a kitten) to the other two, there was tension between our female and the new male. It remains to this day, though they’ve reached a detente of sorts. Our main concern was letting the kitten know it was loved despite the negative attention from our female kitty. Also, we did chase her away when she got too aggressive with the kitten. Other than that and Feliway, we let kitty dynamics play themselves out.
catwalks really help, if you’re serious about giving them a stimulating environment and one that allows them to intermingle. there’s something about giving cats full mobility off the floor/furniture that relaxes their fears and entertains them. really.
http://www.katwallks.com/customerphotos.htm
on the other hand, Magis might have nailed it!
Time, a space that is just for Dusty (if you’ve got enough room for this), individual attention. Negative reinforcement might not work so well, but as the cat is temporary, it might be ok. Hard to say. I’d also try to get them different litter boxes and food bowls.
that wasn’t an ad, by the way. i didn’t use that company; it just provided the best, fast visuals. made mine myself. a good stud-finder is really the only requirement.
The method suggested by adoption agencies (and mentioned by Foucault) worked fairly well when I brought a new cat into my apartment last year. After about a month of keeping them in separate rooms–only letting them be around each other for supervised play or treats–they started getting along well enough so that there was only the occasional bout of hissing and spitting. Now they almost never even do that and I often come home to find them snuggled up together on the bed.
In retrospect, my cat Ashes probably wishes I had used the same method to introduce her to my girlfriend…
i have this funny feeling that Dusty will finally get used to Fiona like 2 weeks before Fiona’s time in your home is done. then when Fiona leaves, you will have to deal with the cat mourning OMG What Did You Do With My Best Friend Fiona, And What Does That Mean For Me? thing.
OT observation:
Since Amanda’s stern anti-troll warnings have often had little effect in the past, I think this thread is a positive sign that the recent spike in trolls around here has finally subsided.
Since Pandagon’s trolls were really un-fun (even by troll standards), I think we can all agree that this is a good thing.
I’ve found that introducing cats takes a lot longer than introducing dogs. Although even dogs can take quite a while to work out hierarchy on all things.
When I brought Miesha home as company for Cassondra I kept them separated and only allowed supervised interaction for a month. I increased the time after that. It took 6 months before Cassondra was willing to accept Miesha. She stopped growling, hissing and swiping at Miesha.
Cassondra and Miesha each had their spaces as well.
After the 6 month mark, they were pretty much thick as theives for the next 16 years. I lost Miesha this past August and Cassondra misses her still.
Give it time.
While we’re on the topic of pets, I hope folks know that there has been a recall of certain foods produced by MenuFoods (Iams, Eukanuba…).
I freaked yesterday when I heard about this, and the Iams site was fairly worthless in helping me figure anything out. My dad, who is Harriet’s veterinarian, was quite helpful in calming me down, because Harriet only gets the dry stuff.
If your pet gets dry kibble, it seems that all’s well. Canned or moist packages…check out the recall notices. Pets have been dying of kidney failure.
I do some cat rescue (mostly dog rescue) and my favorite method is to keep the cats separate for several days, the newbie in the downstairs bathroom, the others in the main bedroom, and to take turns letting them out into the living room. The newbie goes up there first, gets its scent on everything, then I put it away. Then I let the other cats out and they hiss and growl and freak out, because they know a new cat is there, but it’s been put away, so no cat fights.
After a while of doing this, they grow accustomed with one another’s scents and then when I do introduce them, it’s almost like they already know each other. Almost. There’s a bit of hissing, but nothing major. I’ve got a household right now of four kitties, three females and one male and they get along very well. I also think though that I got a bit lucky.
That’s awesome. Animal power struggles are great, because they’re so honest.
Whenever my ex-girlfriend goes out of town for an extended period of time, her cats stay at my house. Yes, we are a lesbian stereotype. My ex is my best friend. Yes, it’s kinda funny. Moving on.
The cats are brother and sister from the same litter, so in their natural environment (her apartment) it’s hard to tell who’s the alpha. They’re always too busy cuddling with each other. Still, the first day at my house the girl hides under the couch, and the boy tries to attack my dog. My dog is about 40lbs bigger than him, but fully accepts his kitty superiority. They make friends. This makes the girl cat very angry, and she gets angry at both her brother and my dog. She is the alpha, and stalks around the house hissing at anything that moves. She finally makes friends with my dog, but remains angry at her brother. She bullies him for another few days. Soon, I’ll come home and see two kitties curled up together on top of my dog’s back. It just takes time for them to get used to each other.
That being said, some animals will never get along. My dog and my roomie’s boyfriend’s dog DO NOT get along. My silly little dog will submit to two 8lb cats, my roomie’s dog (about 60lbs), but not to a 100lb Rottweiler. Genius. Plus, when I was growing up, my family added a new cat to the household. He eventually killed the other cat by not allowing her to eat.
So. Some animals will work out their power struggles and eventually get along, and some never will.
I always like to think that animals getting along is a good indicator of their people’s compatibility, but I just keep getting proven wrong time and time again.
We’re having the same problem with Merle and Doug. Pablo and Doug get along fine, as do Merle and Pablo, mostly because either a) Pablo doesn’t care, or b) I’m beginning to think Pablo isn’t all that smart. Doug is in the same boat as Fiona except that Merle attacks.
Poor Doug is really distressed by the hostility. It’s been about five months and things are getting better (good lord, that’s a long time) but we just keep with the cat whisperer and give Doug extra attention. I’m beginning to think that it’s Doug’s distress that makes it all worse. When Merle tries to attack Doug and I’m around, I just whip Doug up and hold him in my lap and pet him, and Chef does the same with Merle. When Doug gets brave and tries to retaliate we try to do the same, but he’s a fast little bugger.
And honestly, if you can pill a cat, the vet did recommend kitty Prozac. I can’t pill a cat for shit, so that’s a no go.
Anyway, I believe that the proper amount of attention and affection has helped, along with liberal use of the Cat Whisperer. We have a little orange squirtgun, the mere sound of which will stop any fight about to take place, which means we don’t necessarily have to get the cats wet.
I think I’m gonna go give Harriet some Greenies (salmon flavor–the only people food she’ll beg for)… just because. All this pet talk reminds me just how much I love my girl and how lost I’d be without her.
And honestly, if you can pill a cat, the vet did recommend kitty Prozac. I can’t pill a cat for shit, so that’s a no go.
Get a piller. Before I started using it, I would fight with Harriet to get the pill down. Her chin would be covered in saliva and dissolved pill (which cut quite a figure since her pills are blue). Once I figured out how to use the piller, it’s like 1-2-3 and done.
The also make pill pockets, little edible things you can put the pills in. Unfortunately, Harriet likes the pockets but will eat around the pill.
When we introduced a new cat into our household, we put strong cheap lilac perfume on the backs of all of the cats from the neck to the tail and on the back legs. that seemed to knock out their hostility until they got used to each other.
Some things to try (these work on kids as well as cats):
Establish spaces for each of them. One can be up where others can’t jump, etc. Kind of like giving kids their own room or half a room.
Kitty time for each kitty from each of you: take ONE of them in a room, close the door, and pay full attention. Or read a magazine in their presence and then pet them when they come sit on the magazine. Playing helps too. Do this each day.
You might look for a high-thread count pillowcase on sale for Dusty and put it someplace that will be HER territory. She might prefer to hang out on that than stalk Fiona.
Make sure Fiona gets some away time so she doesn’t stress out more than she already has. Calicos generaly HATE other cats and want to be in charge, but the mob scene can make them wacky.
I second the super soaker theory. They hear you pump that and whoh! detente.
Feliway is your best friend. When we bought new furniture, it kept the cats from scratching the hell out of it.
Female cats are tricky, because females tend to be dominant, so you get a lot more dominance displays than you will between two neutered males. (Unneutered males — whole different situation. But a female will still try to dominate them.)
I agree that you need to try and set up some positive associations for Dusty when it comes to Fiona, whether that’s playing with her or giving her treats when Fiona’s around, etc. Our two boys get along pretty well, but they definitely enjoy being petted while the other cat watches.
Oh, don’t do different litter boxes. Unless you want a REAL pissing contest, that is - they will fight to see who can turf all the boxes.
I’ve been thinking about getting another cat, someone to keep Harriet company.
Last spring, the dog she was living with was hit by a car (one of the reasons I wish ill upon that roommate–he would walk the dog across the McGrath Hwy (6 lanes of traffic) without a leash) making it the first time she had ever lived without another animal in the house. Indeed, for the first couple years I had her, I also had another cat that I got with her. He leaked, though, and moved to a farm when I moved back to Boston (no, that’s not a euphamism…he actually moved to the farm of one of my dad’s business partners).
I sort of wondered if being the only animal in the house added to the stress that led to tugging out her hair.
But, I live in a small studio apt, which just seems too small to try to get two cats involved with each other.
Jeff, if you are serious about another pet anytime soon, consider adopting a catolescent.
We got our guys when they were 9 months old. They were a brother sister pair whose initial keeper died suddenly and they had lived with the guys girlfriend and her kids until the shelter was ready to take them. Very well socialized and used to kids. We were told that these cats were likely going to be open to other pets due to their age and settlement history (unfortunately not true for Maryanne the Visiting Ferret - she got along with Amelia, but her smell freaked out poor Mario!).
They had a lot of the advantages of being grown up cats, and they were spayed/neutered already, but they still had an endearing kitteness about them that made their settle-in time near zero. They would have had low settlement time with an older, established cat because they were still young enough to be told what to do.
I can’t help much as both of my cats have been singles. My last cat was my sister’s for 4 1/2 years before she came to me. At that point, for the next cople of years, if my sister visited LS (Little Sh*T - hey my sister named her, not me) would have nothing to do with her and would stay hidden the whole time my sister was visiting. She was a fairly anti-social cat anyway, so often the only way I knew she was around was her food disappearing and litter box filling up. I had her for 13 1/2 years before she had to leave.
When I adopted my current companion, the shelter said he was a singleton and I have no reason to doubt them; especially when I see his reaction when neighboring outdoor cats come by. As it is, he has his claws and occasionally tries to sneak out. He has gotten out overnight a couple of times but mainly just gets agitated when he sees the others outdoors.
Jeff, if you are serious about another pet anytime soon, consider adopting a catolescent.
That was the plan, but I’m going to wait until I have more than one room. There’s just not enough space here for them to get away from each other if they need a little space.
Plus, I don’t need another project (socializing cats) to keep me away from the dissertation.
Harriet will have settle with being spoiled rotten for the time being. She just got some Greenies and catnip and is very happy sitting in the little catnip den (her version of an opium den) I made for her.
Growing up with a veterinarian for a dad was one of the best experiences you could hope for. My H.S. job was helping in the clinic. There were times it sucked (like having to help euthanize people’s long-time companion animals), but I learned so much and got to play with so many great cats and dogs.
Most interesting experience: A farmer brought in a piglet, the runt of the litter, that had been stepped on my mom. This had created a tear in its abdomen. I held the piglet up-side-down by its back legs while dad stuffed the intestines back in and sewed it up.
stepped on by mom, not my mom…eek.
Since Amanda’s stern anti-troll warnings have often had little effect in the past, I think this thread is a positive sign that the recent spike in trolls around here has finally subsided.
Yes, it seems they’ve recently been alerted by Michelle Malkin that the moon is taking the pro-Islamic shape of a crescent, and are now leaving an array of furious comments on what they call “moonbat” blogs. It’s a cyclical thing.
OK, maybe it’s me…but could we create a Pandagon Pet Page? I don’t care what any of you people look like, but your cats……(or ferrets, or dogs, or fish, or whatever…)
Or would that violate a tenet of of the Church of the Mouse and Disco Ball, the rites of which have been far too neglected as of late…..
Huh, I found that unless I did mutiple litter boxes, one would go on litter box strike, and even when that wasn’t an issue, they were always happier not to have to share.
great spike…send us to a site with a blog that’s no longer in operation. 5-minutes in the penalty box for you.
Feliway also comes in a plug-in that lasts about a month. It worked wonders with my two cats, both of whom I thought I was going to have to kill lest I go completely insane from the fighting. I refilled it a couple of times and by then they were settled down enough that I didn’t need to.
You can find it at most pet chain marts.
Well, all I have to add is that StaticAge’s cat doesn’t like any other females. She stares down human females, as well. A former date of his noted this on his Friendster page. Ashes does not like ANY other cats or girls. Or girl cats. Apparently she’s just the Alpha-Female, or Alpha-Cat, no matter what. She (Ashes) is the master of the “bitch stare down”.
I don’t know if there’re any treatments for this type of personality disorder. Axis II, she does have something going on, that can be found in the DSM-IV- I’m positive. She still has something against S.A.’s sweet Stasia.
Best book EVER on cat behavior: Good Cats, Bad Habits by Alice Rhea.
I believe it was this book that told me how to introduce cats to each other–keep new cat in restricted space for a few days, exchange their litter and bedding during this period so they get used to the scent, lavish attention on old cat, let them spend only a few minutes with each other at a time, lock up new cat in restricted space whenever you are not home, etc. After two weeks of this, things were fine between my two, but of course personalities of cats are different and it might not work so well next time.
Now if someone could just tell me how to get my alpha male cat (11 years old) and my alpha male son (2 1/2 years old) to stop competing for my attention….
This isn’t advice on the cat situation, just a random comment.
When I moved in with my now-husband, his cats had to incorporate *me* into the hierarchy. The alpha cat and I never really resolved it. Each of us thought we should be in charge of the other. The beta-cat and I got along just fine, but the alpha cat was *not* taking orders from the new girl. He would sit on my stuff and hiss at me if I needed to get it. A few times it got to the point of serious scratching and biting. It didn’t help that I was scared of him, and would get my husband to move the cat off the stuff I needed if he was around.
Now we live in a married-student dorm that doesn’t allow cats. It’s much more peaceful, though I know my husband really misses his cats. (The beta-cat died before we moved; the alpha went to a friend and has since sickened beyond the friend’s capability to pay for vet services so went back to the SPCA, may have been put down).
Since Fiona is the big kid on the block, Dusty is using your authority to be provocative with Fiona. I’ll bet Dusty wouldn’t stalk Fiona outside. Let them meet each other outside to remind Dusty who’s boss.
You have to be careful with cats, though, since a claw in the hindquarters of the retreating cat can result in a nasty abscess. Tough problem. Wouldn’t it just be easier to dump the boyfriend? Ha ha.
Some phrases keep running through my head:
Quit it. Quit it. Quit it. Quit it. Quit it. Quit it.
He started it.
We currently have 8 rescued cats of varying ages in residence, and I have to second (or third or fourth or whatever) going with a couple of Feliway plug-ins. There’s also a Comfort Zone aerosol spray that contains Feliway that you just spray around like Glade.
I’ve also had good results with Rescue Remedy, and a company called Anaflora makes a wide selection of various flower essences specific to particular difficulties (aggression, grief, fear, etc.). You just put a few drops in the water bowls. There are no side effects, and if your other cats don’t have the particular issue that the flower essence addresses, it doesn’t have any effect on them.
There’s a holistic/natural pet store in Alexandria, VA called Pet Sage (www.petsage.com) that carries the Anaflora essences along with a ton of really good pet foods, toys, books, and other things. They do ship so if you’re not in the area you can still do business with them if you’re so inclined. (Sorry about the commercial, but I’ve been getting all my cat food from them for years now and really like them.)
Three of my housemates have cats, so the first couple of months after we all moved in together were pretty exciting. The two boy-cats, though, are best friends now; I think it helped that they were both barely a year old when they met. We also kept the kitchen door shut for a few weeks, so Simon had the run of the basement and kitchen and Tybalt had the upstairs, before we introduced them.
Cat #3, on the other hand, still hates everyone, but I think she’s always been like that. Neroli’s a lot older than the boys, very set in her ways, and doesn’t like anyone other than her owner. Simon keeps trying to play with her the same way he does with Tybalt– pouncing and batting– but that just pisses her off more. Tybalt seems to be smart enough to not get involved, but she still doesn’t like him any better. So she spends most of her time in her owner’s room.
I don’t have time to read all the comment, so I don’t know if this has already been mentioned, but when we were trying to get our cats to get along, someone recommended this stuff called “Bach’s Rescue Remedy” which is available at most health food stores (we bought ours at Whole Foods). It’s pricy - like $12 a bottle - but a few drops in their water dish(es) and everyone mellows out /quite/ nicely, I must say.
Good luck!
Egads! Pardon the massive typos! I don’t know how I missed all those.
By way of apology, here’s a link: http://www.bachcentre.com/centre/38/rescue.htm
My big cat Sally was terrorizing the smaller cat, Rita, to the point that Rita walked around howling and quit eating. I took Rita to the vet who ruled out physical issues for Rita, and gave her a Bach herbal essence formula that the vet had mixed. After 1 and 1/2 days, Rita calmed down and starting eating. The two will never be friends, but they generally tolerate each other now. My vet uses homeopathy as well as traditional medicine. Oh, I just read the comment before this-so I guess I am seconding that one.
We had two cats, that came together from the Cat Corner as kittens; they got along just fine. A couple of years later, the tattooed lady next door kicked out “Kitten,” an adult female whose last name should have been “Factory,” because she got out again. (They could have simply had her spayed about three litters ago.)
Well, Kitten took up residence on our front porch, so we just had to let her in — and she’s still here. And in two years, Kitten and the other two cats have never learned to get along with each other; they still hiss and occasionally fight. (All three are spayed females.)
Kitten has decided that she’s my cat, and insists on sleeping jammed up next to me, and when I’m at the computer desk, she’ll try to walk around the desk, ensconce herself on teh chair, and even park on my shoulders.
If you want her, you can have her!
Kajey:
After the age of mobility but before the age of reason seems to be a bad time for cat/loinfruit interactions. Are you sure you can’t just let them fight it out?
What’s wrong with “Fiona”? I kind of like that name.
When I moved into my old house, my bitchy alpha-cat was joining three cliquey cats already living there, and DID NOT get along with either them (or the people - he used to sit on the back of the toilet and keep my housemate from peeing for fear of unzipping and losing something to kitty claws). Separate food bowls go a really long way; I’d imagine separate boxes would, too, but ours went outdoors so I wouldn’t really know. Having a favorite toy or a blanket or something that smells like each cat and can be put somewhere to demarcate their respective spots can also help. Basically, reduce competition as much as possible.
Big Cat and My Cat never ended up liking each other in the two years I lived there, but Big Cat was an alpha cat, and My Cat wasn’t ever smart enough to figure that out. Eventually they just got tired of being in each others’ faces and start gravitating to their own spots, so even though they never became friends, the chasing didn’t take too long to chill out. Just a few months or so
On the disproportionately female movie stalkers: not to give studios too much credit, but I think part of it’s just that because of their rarity, female stalkers are supposed to make a more interesting story. Not that the effect isn’t just as bad, but I don’t think that the sexism in this case is all that intentional.
Outside of either:
1) Intensive behavior modification, i.e., spending several days with them around the clock, constantly monitoring and punishing signs of aggression, or
2) Psychotropic kitty medication
I think you’re stuck. Give the kitty meds a try. I doubt either you or your beau have the time or energy for #1, so I think #2 is your best bet.
It encourages you to call her “Fi Fi” when talking to her in baby talk.
Of course, that’s me.
I’ve had variations of this scenario play out all my life. They work it out in their own time, usually, which is never as quickly as I’d like them to work it out.
The only thing that has ever seemed to help is giving the resentful cat more private affection time. Take Dusty into the bathroom or some other room where you can close the door to keep out the others, and spend a few minutes each day petting or brushing her. She wants to feel like she’s number one, so try to give her that feeling regularly. It won’t work overnight but it does seem to soothe them down eventually.
I hate when they skulk around doing that growling-under-their-breath thing. Sally did that for close to a month after we brought home the kitten. I thought it would never end.
I know I’m probably reading way too much into this, but is this post really about you and Michelle Malkin? Her behavior towards you sounds remarkably like Dusty’s towards Fiona.
Cat Lady weighing in:
Yay, FELIWAY! It’s the smell off that hormone that makes them think “oh happy puffy clouds.” It’s like pot with humans: “Compete? With whom? Problem? What problem? Got anything to eat?”
I foster cats, off-and-on, and have had up to six in my house at a time. The squabbling is all about territory. Who gets the good sunbeam? The place on mommy’s chest? Every time you change the kitty configuration these things need to be renegotiated. It takes about 2 months.
Some tips:
1) Create new “territory” by using the vertical space in your home to provide new spaces for them to claim as their own. Give them high platforms to hang out on: Tables, bookshelves, and/or commercially-made kitty condos.
2) Put out more litterboxes than you really feel like cleaning.
3) They’ll poach each other’s food in any case during their power plays, but at least make the gesture that there will always be enough food for all concerned. I leave vast quantities of dry food sitting out in multiple bowls, especially when I have a new kitty configuration.
4) I often pet competing cats at the same time. That’s why I have two hands, right?
I have seven cats and one poor, outnumbered little dog. Actually, the dog gets along famously with all the cats — especially Gogo, who’s his girlfriend. He has claimed paternity of her kittens.
Gogo, however, does not get along at all with Catwoman. They are the only two non-related adult female cats in the household, and their pissiness to one another is reminiscent of that of Krystle and Alexis in Dynasty.
Why is their relationship so hostile? Unless they’re both in love with George the Dog, the only answer can be that too much kitty estrogen in one small space creates disharmony. The Molly-Dusty-Fiona turmoil sounds the same.
It’s a little like junior high school. Each girl needs enough space to establish her own territory — and enough other girls to form her own clique. Then the rival cliques can snub each other in the cafeteria.
Huh, I found that unless I did mutiple litter boxes, one would go on litter box strike, and even when that wasn’t an issue, they were always happier not to have to share.
That’s what happened with our now-late cat Natasha, so we ended up getting two boxes and everyone was happier. (Yes, she would use Boris’s box, but she was the alpha, so it wasn’t a huge problem.) We still use two litter boxes and it doesn’t seem to be creating any extra resentment, cat-wise, though the one with more elbow room definitely gets used more by both cats.
imho, what you’re trying to do is almost impossible without giving them all a lot more space.
1-It’s a tough thing to make adult cats change their ways w/regard to other cats.
2-Cats are ALL about territory. (as opposed to dogs,which are primarily about pack order) If you’ve got three cats in a finite amount of space, you’ve got trouble. I assume these are all inside cats, and I agree there are good reasons to keep cats inside. However, that brings us back to finite space.
good luck w/that.
The really really important thing to remember is that cats are NOT pack animals. They do not usually share space with other cats who are not related to them and asking them to do so is asking them to behave unnaturally in the extreme. Our two males, 3 years apart in age, never really got along all that well because Dominic was, well, Dominic. But he left us last October and Loki still misses him.
Patience and understanding that as predators and solitaries cats do not respond to the same treatment as dogs or humans are what’s necessary. They really are alien to us. They may never get along really well, but generally they will stop fighting after a couple of months or so. Unless real damage appears to be happening, it’s best to let them work it out themselves really.
MKK
Since we’re talking about mult-cat households I have another tip: My neighbor and I went to Home Depot and bought one of those big pans that contractors use to mix concrete in. Now we have enormous litterboxes with extra high sides!
MAJeff — Looks like someone (Harriet?) is a Gramsci reading pinko.
Beautiful cats Amanda.
Cats must be dealt with at the subliminal. Once a cat has your weaknesses figured out, you will be held in contempt. You can tell if your cat is messing with you by watching their irises. As they launch psychological attacks your way, the black parts of their eye grow slightly. It’s the same when they are playing with a wounded soon to be dead furry animal.
The trick is to keep them slightly off guard. Cats are the worlds greatest hunters. Every aspect of cat physiology is designed to hunt and kill. You have to give them some sense of the thrill of the kill though play to keep them from going bonkers. If you practice this in a loving and subtle level you will earn their respect. Of course, respect from a cat don’t get you much. But messing with your cats sometimes keeps them from messing with each other.
I’ve been through the same thing several times in my life and it is always ugly…but for me it has never been ugly for more than 2-3 weeks.
Not sure why, but one thing I do with all my animals is make sure they know who the real alpha-character in the house is, and that’s me.
I make sure I yell at them or scoop them up against their will and hold them in submissive positions for a few minutes when they’re acting out. I physically defend them all against any terrorism by any of the others when they’re in reach and I can. I use my voice a lot; cats as you know don’t enjoy loud noises.
For me, it has always worked out well in the end, but maybe I have just been lucky. The last time it was bringing home a runt kitten (6-8 weeks, maybe?) saved from a busy street during the middle of winter a couple years ago to my two well-entrenched Siamese litter-mates, and it took a while, but now they all get along fine. In fact, “alpha-wise,” they seem to have a weird rock/paper/scissors thing going, in which the runt (still the smallest by far) is comically unafraid of and often hilariously antagonistic of the one Siamese who usually antagonizes the other Siamese. The antagonized Siamese, in turn, pretty much wails on the runt from time to time.
But it this point, it is my perception that this is all play. The Siamese are basically inseparable and always have been. They can be curled up in a giant furball within minutes of a knockdown dragout fur flyer. And the runt is always welcome in the vicinity now. Particularly by the Siamese that wamps on him for kicks.
How long have yours all been together? I’ve also had experiences where it was pretty clear to me that some animals just don’t like each other. When I had a dog in the current mix, he would sleep with me along with one of the Siamese, frequently in physical contact with each other. But the dog would not, over years, even let the runt into the room without chasing him back from where he came.
Good luck.
Testing.
MAJeff — Looks like someone (Harriet?) is a Gramsci reading pinko.
Yeah, but watch out when she gets on an Adorno kick.
Separate feeding stations, separate litter boxes, and whatever you do, do not let any of them see you giving any of the other ones any attention until things calm down. Pika is deeply offended at all times by the presence of the two newbies who have been here seven months. Now that he is used to them he merely leaps and dashes whenever one comes within eight feet of him. Better by far that stomping around the house all day grumbling for the first six months. When he catches sight of me playing with them he becomes so despondent that he gathers up my slippers and sulks on them. It is very sad.
I have three cats — I inherited my Dad’s cat and adding him into the mix of my two girls was traumatic. He instantaneously assumed alpha status in the household…displacing pretty girl, who was quite devastated, but gamely fought back to hold beta status. The lowest ranking cat, little girl, to this day, hisses every time she sees him — although she is slowly reducing the distance between them.
Feliway did nothing except cost me a lot of money.
Separate rooms didn’t work — the boy knew how to open doors, and taught the others!
Rescue remedy — nada.
Homeopathic anxiety drops in water — possibly did something, but this was also six months later.
Gender of the cats makes a difference — if your cats are all female, they have separate territories, and adding the new cat made the whole territory up for grabs again. Supposedly male cats’ territories can overlap and intersect with female territories, so that conflict will settle earlier, once the boundaries are established.
Give it time — and give them equal affection. I ignore the fights, unless it’s approaching blood on the walls (twice), and pet them even while they’re fighting. One year later, and we have gone from daily fights, to perhaps once a month, and some halfhearted growling.
Catnip has always worked well for us. Just offer it in one room but different corners. We had had as many as 5 cats at a time and all I can say is that they do like their drugs.
We ended up with 2 cats. From their first introduction, they hated each other. They kept that hatred alive for 9 years. Seriously. The amazing thing was, if they ran into each other, say, rounding a corner, they would both jump 3 feet in the air and start the growl/hissihg, reacting as if they had never laid eyes on each other before. It got to be a routine, and my wife would do introductions. “Leonidas, meet Xerxes. Xerxes, Leonidas”. Sometimes when Leonidas would get agitated about Xerxes, he would come running to us, meowing to inform us there was another cat in the house. Two or three times a day my wife or I would shout “Its ok, he lives here”.
Good luck.
I remember I had a classmate in elementary school who had a lady cat and guy cat that his family wanted to have kittens from. They stuck the two cats in a bathroom with necessaries and let ‘em at it. The two cats fought each other like mad, but by the end of the week were all right [and kittens were the result].
I have a feeling this might only work with a male and female cat - sexual attraction, heat, so on - but it might work on two same-sex cats that you’re just trying to make get along. I figure they’ll learn to live with one another and maybe get to know one another if they’re confined together.
My personal experience has been keeping the “foreign” cat(s) in a seperate room with the door closed. My parents said they did this with two cats who became best of friends as they came to know one another from the space under the door [enough space to sniff and stick paws through - not enough to maul]. Also a process that has worked well with kittens - the space under the door is perfect for getting a cat used to the idea of the “invading forces” while being enough of a blockage to be comfortable.
Also, a note on stalkers in the media - if a woman is stalking a man in a movie, it’s scary and obsessive. If a man is stalking a woman, it’s sweet and endearing - and if the lady tries to push him away or turn him down she’s “cold-hearted.”
If a man is stalking a woman, it’s sweet and endearing - and if the lady tries to push him away or turn him down she’s “cold-hearted.�
I stopped watching “Studio 60″ for this very reason: we were supposed to find it cute and endearing that Danny wouldn’t stop pursuing Jordan even though at one point she CHANGED HER CELL NUMBER to avoid his calls. But, gosh, all they had to do was get locked on a roof together and he was able to persuade her that the fact that (a) she was his boss (b) she is pregnant with her ex-boyfriend’s child and (c) he’s less than 100 days sober were all silly objections to his Twue Wuv.
Aaron Sorkin has never understood his female characters, and when he goes wrong, he goes wrong.
I know how you feel. When my grandmother went into a nursing home it was for us to take her new kitten home. She had three cats, Fatima, Francheska and Jordan. We took Fatima (and immediately renamed her Tima) because she is such a people-oriented cat that we didn’t want to leave her alone. Then, about a year later when Jordan died we took Francheska. At the time we already had three cats, Tourmaline (aka The Tourmalator, Tourmie for short), Patches and Namaka, of the three Tourmie was alpha, Patches was male (for whatever reason male kitties are lower on the housecat hierarchy than females) and Namaka was sickly. The result was that Tourmie and Tima immediately began clashing, and really haven’t stopped (Tourmie has large claws and short fur and Tima has long thick fur but tiny claws, the result is that neither can seriously injure the other). Tima is incouragable, Tourmie is scary when mad, neither one is backing down.
If you keep cats in separate rooms for a while each will remember that room as their territory, in some cases that works, in a few it just makes things worse.
Gender does matter. Neutered males are rarely strongly territorial (intact males, on the other hand, are scary as hell). Females, even when spayed, keep the territoriality they have in the wild. Within wild communities (of the most closely related species) females have smaller territories than males. Male territories are large so they overlap several female territories. Because of this males and females seem to develope different heirarchies.
One problem is that being submissive or being alpha is a state of mind, literally. The brain of an alpha animal and the brain of a submissive animal are different, different mix of chemicals. It’s been found that, given the opportunity (an empty territory), a submissive animal will quickly change to being an alpha one, but will readilly change back if placed in a situation where the true territory holder is returned to the empty territory within a certain period of time. Alpha status, once it’s fully sunk in, does not dissipate quickly and having two alphas hold the same territory (usually by artificially removing the original alpha for a while, then returning him/her once the newbie’s finished changing into an alpha territory holder) will result in bitter fighting as both insist that it’s their territory damn it (in the wild the weaker one would eventually give up and flee, but Alpha vs. alpha battles are nasty buisness).
We are approximately 10 months into the “adding a cat” journey with Nim (#1 Cat) and Annie (#2 Cat). I don’t know that anyone else is going to replicate the pattern, though.
Nim is about 10 years old (I adopted her in late ‘97) and was the dominant female in my old apartment block’s neutered-mixed-gender non-feral cat colony (One cat per apartment, almost every apartment had a cat and most were allowed out to bask in the coutryard and Sort Things Out in the usual feline manner.) After a cross-country move, a brief stay in a shared apartment, and the move to our house, she’d settled into indoor cattitude without much fuss. (I think the road trip pretty much cured her of wanting to go Outside.)
We adopted Annie from a co-worker whose household had developed Allergies. Annie is about 6 years old, also neutered-female, and when we adopted her, she weighed about 6 lbs to Nim’s 9.5. Annie was stray before she adopted the co-worker, and was front-declawed by somebody before us (Nim has full factory-installed weaponry.)
We fully expected Nim to beat the tar out of the younger “sibling” but as it turns out the old scaredy-pants is terrified of the newcomer, who has taken over the cat castle and the downstairs of the house. We maintain two litter boxes (one upstairs, one in the basement) and two food stations (one upstairs, one downstairs) and everybody seems to have enough to eat and a place to do their business. It has been interesting watching the territorial lines shift over the months.
There has been some yowling and hissing, but now they mostly ignore each other.
We also make a point of only providing treats when they’re both together. As a result, we have two beggars whenever we sit down to eat.
I don’t know if anyone has mentioned this already (sorry, I’m too tired to read through all 80-some comments), but what the suitor and I found worked was the “common enemy” tactic.
When we combined households temporarily and my munchkin (big, strong, used to being the alpha male AND spoiled baby of the house) got thrown in with his two munchkins (one easygoing and lumbering male, one petite-but-psycho female), there were fireworks. His crazy munchkin and my alpha/spoiled munchkin stared and hissed daggers at each other for weeks. His crazy munchkin even started taking it out on the laid-back munchkin (with whom she usually got along famously). What usually got them to leave off, even just for a few minutes at a time, was something else to focus on: the laser pointer (”the dot”), a toy mouse, birds outside the window, the feather teaser, and so on.
Eventually everyone calmed down. It definitely takes time. It can help if you reassure the erstwhile alpha that he/she is still loved and wanted, making sure that not all the attention being given to her is via the spray bottle or harsh words.
The bad news: I have heard that sometimes two female cats just don’t get along. Might want to talk to your vet.
I’ve heard that breeds also have something to do with how cats will (or will not) get along. My two adopted cats are both orange tabbies, and the woman who brought the second one over (howling at the top of his lungs) told me not to worry: “Orange tabbies are a breed of their own,” she said.
She was right; both cats are very mellow and the alpha is extremely confident. Nothing phases him. They seem to have a ‘color’ bond that they do not share with the gray tabby. Maybe cats are racists to some extent?
Just kidding; but they do seem aware that they are different from the gray feral one: maybe it’s a class thing? 
All three of them seem a little homoerotic to me…
My guess is that by using a combination of reward and punishment (bribes of love and treats vs the spray bottle), your cats willl have reached some sort of grudging acceptance right around the point it’s time to return Fiona. After that, the others will either cheer you for banishing the intruder and/or resent you you for allowing it into the inner circle in the first place.
As long as you can keep them from hurting each other, and the additional stress does not cause the bursting of a blood vessel (theirs or yours), the experience will build character and add a little spice to existence (theirs and yours). Otherwise. erect the cat equivalent of a habi-trail and keep them separated.
Ha! So we have FIVE cats - and a new stray tom (makes 6) living outside for the time being. Four females and one neutered male. All was well when we just had two, but then we added an insane female cat and the male. The fifth cat was just icing on the cake. Our house was hell for about 6 months - cat growling, spitting, fur flying, pooping in the tubs, and peeing on the stove, kitchen counters, and washing machine. We still don’t have a toaster bc someone managed to pee in there and it smells like burning cat pee when you try to toast something. The phone took a couple of hits too, but mr. clean took care of that - except sometimes when you talk for a really long time and it gets hot - then your face smells slightly of cat urine.
We tried kitty prozac for the most prolific peer. When we gave her the pills she foamed at the mouth - I mean crazy foaming. Finally we got it compounded by Fosters into a liquid form with anchovy flavoring and that worked ok - she just slept a lot.
The peeing continued by the others though - a mattress was ruined, the two spare bedrooms and bath became off limits.
Then I got pregnant and my raging nesting instinct went berserk at the thought of baby coming into contact with cat pee. Sooo…we cut a hole in the door to the garage for a catdoor and increased the litter boxes from 3 to 4 and moved them out there. Then we cut another hole in the door from the garage to the outside for another cat door and started giving them free rein to come and go. Of course, we lock the cat doors from dark to dawn bc we have botcats and coyotes, which think cats are yummy, but they seem to be ok with this set up. The litter box use plummeted, the peeing ceased, kitty came off her prozac, and the dogs were no longer scared to move for fear of incidental fanging.
There are still some dust-ups. Mainly the crazy female growling at the male or the fluffy female that pesters her, but no battles. Most importantly, no peeing.
The whole experience was eye opening. Never again will we have 7 animals in a 1600 sq. foot home with no outside access. They get outside and run themselves all day without coming into contact with one another and everyone is happy. Some are now even playing and sleeping together. Peace among cats can happen, but it just takes a while - and maybe some kitty prozac…
From the NY Times article: Menu Foods is providing information on what packages are being recalled at (866) 895-2708 or www.menufoods.com/recall.
My apologies if someone has already posted this, I didn’t read all the entries before posting. It’s important news for pet owners.
It definitely cut down squabbling to make sure that the number of litter boxes was equal to the number of cats + one. Even if you have to put some of them really close together. Ditto also for the adding new surface areas for them to claim. Even carpet samples and piles of newspaper.
I don’t know whether the orange tabby bond is special because of color or because of family relationship. My two orange boys, Buster and Punkin, are as close as can be, but then they’re littermates — they’ve been together for all seventeen years of their existence.
Catwoman is a gray-brown-black tortoiseshell tabby, and when I brought her home, the boys instantly loved her. (It was not immediately mutual; I think Catwoman has some issues.) Now, having lived together for almost three years, those three share a bond that seems to exclude the other four cats in the household.
Sometimes it is just a miserable situation and you live through it like you do a colicky baby or a bad headache. A really, really long headache.
I went roommate hunting and the one person who answered my ad had a cat. I told her I had a cat who probably didn’t like other cats, but she disregarded my concerns. Her cat is a mellow, kinda dumb male who gets along with other mellow cats. Mine is an older neurotic declawed female who was abused by another cat in her distant past. That’s how I got her — she had been pissing herself in fear of the other (male) cat who beat up on her, and the owner was desperate to unload her.
Guess what, moving in together turned into a huge problem. The female was scared of the male at first, then one day when he was startled by her, she became a total demonic bully. 24 hour persecution. She would bite at him and pull out big chunks of fur - lucky thing he’s a fluffy character. And she’d beat on him with her forepaws. That’s no picnic either, she used to be a very strong “boxer” and would pummel mice to death. You could see how agitated she was with her tail thrashing around like crazy, and then about 2 seconds later there’d be another attack. The handsome young tom became totally depressed.
We tried to separate them with a child gate, which only worked for so long before she started jumping over it. Finally we had to keep one in a bedroom during the day while the other was out in the apartment, then reverse it at night. If we were both home and watching TV, we’d put on the ceiling fan and let them out simultaneously - my cat is desperately afraid of ceiling fans and this would create a safe zone for the poor victimized male.
It never really got better. Yelling, squirting water, letting them fight it out, she was just continuously evil.
My roommate moved away for grad school and I had to find a new apartment. My cat by herself is so much happier and more playful. The other cat lived by itself for awhile in happiness. A pair of cats (male/female) were introduced and they both beat him up, but after the new male was removed, mr. fluffy pants established a small amount of dominance over the female. Now she has a new puppy and fluffy cat doesn’t like it, but he’ll get over it.
Yes my cat loves me very much, but she has a lot of issues. She has been officially certified as an “asshole cat” by veterinary professionals. Maybe I should think seriously about getting her some kitty prozac.
I’ve heard that breeds also have something to do with how cats will (or will not) get along.
Calicos have been known to chase off all toms even when in heat and eat their kittens the one time they learn why.
They just want to be ALONE with the humans.
Also, Calicos are always females, aren’t they? And orange tabbies are almost always males. At least that’s what I heard from the adoption agency.
Mind you, they also told me that Nine Lives gets the material for their cat food from road kill… so I did what they said and bought only Nutro products, only to learn this weekend that Nutro and MaxCats canned catfoods have been recalled for causing kidney failure in cats.
So I guess a lot of urban legends circulate about cats and their behavior. It takes practice to find out for sure.
Calicos always have two X chromosomes, but are occasionally male (XXY — about 1 in 3000; 1 in 10,000 of these males are fertile). Orange is dominant and on the X chromosome, but if the cat is heterozygous, it will show up as a calico (or tortoiseshell). Female orange cats are less common than male, but not that uncommon — probably 10-20% of the orange cats at the local shelter are female.
[…] The recent cat-blogging at Pandagon: Asking the Hive Mind for Advice got me wondering: Is the real reason I’m having sleep troubles is not so much my hormones or the Zoloft as it is the more noctournal members of my family? […]
This thread inspired me to post photos of the latest middle-of-the-night cat brawl at my lair. The contenders: My burly feral former-tom and my little squeeky runt. Guess who won?
Wow, reading this made me feel better about sticking with one cat. I recently adopted a six month old red tabby, and I was worried about his separation issues (he formerly lived with his mom and sister cat in kitty foster care), so much so that I was deeply tempted to go back and see about adopting his sister too. Reading most of the above comments made me realize that I’m better off holding off a while and then getting another boy cat at a later date only if his loneliness issues do not abate on their own. Aside for being very clingy whenever us humans are around,he’s such a sweet, well behaved ball of fur that I now fear adding any household pets and risk behavioral changes for the worse.
I also wanted to add that one of the things I read that are strongly reccomended is to have at least one plus litter boxes than the cats you have (which in Amanda’s case means four). You can get away with one litterbox for multiple cats if they are all kittens, or a mama cat and her babies, apparently, but full grown cats need space and privacy from each other (and occasionally humans - my kitten doesn’t really like it when I accidentally look over there while he’s doing his business - he goes wide eyed and darts out of there) when they’re doing the deed, regardless of lenght of relationship.
I’d say don’t designate separate litter boxes, but perhaps having enough around to allow the cats to steer clear from each other while on official business might help some. Another thing that I read is that you can stop cats from hissing at each other if you make sure their smells mingle, by rubbing one with a towel, and then the hissing cat next (obviously, keep them separated in between).