My enemy (Uploaded by Anthemic Tangle.)
Aspazia asks an interesting question today:
Why is it that when you are young, you want to spend hours on the phone with your friends talking about the most minute and meaningless details of your life, and when you are older, the phone is a chore? Sure, I like to talk to friends once a week or so. And, I find it valuable to get some advice or work through some stuff with friends on the phone. But, most of the time, I get pretty overwhelmed when the phone rings . . . I just want to know what causes the shift?
Well, I was never overly fond of the phone. I participated in a haphazard way in the mandatory chat-a-thons as a teenager with friends and boyfriends, but my heart was rarely in it. And now the phone simply fails to live up to the internet as a form of remote communication. The advantages of the internet are that you have more control over when you speak to someone. In chat, if they’re online, sweet, you can talk to them. If you’re busy or distracted, log off and no feelings hurt. Email is casual but can be performed on your time. The telephone has none of the convenience or privacy of the internet, but it doesn’t really have the intimacy of in-person conversations.
When I have to talk to someone on the phone, I get really easily frustrated. It doesn’t command your entire attention like an in-person conversation does, and for better or worse, I am not someone who handles that very well. I want to fill up the rest of my brainspace doing something. Ideally, when I’m on the phone, I’d be able to be responding to emails or cleaning something or organizing something at the same time. But often cleaning is noisy (and interferes with the conversation) and emails take up too much brainspace and you tune out the conversation or some other problem. Non-noisy tasks, like repotting or watering plants (a favorite thing to do while talking on the phone) make you drop the phone.
My frustration and hatred of the telephone has reached the point where I reallly need to engage the gadget lover inside. Minor amounts of research have made me think what I need to embrace my full-on campaign staffer lifestyle are a Blackberry and a wireless headset. Yes, I’m going to become that asshole, but admit it, Blackberries are cool.
Any suggestions how what specific gadgets I might need to make my relationship to the telephone more palatable?
Any accoutrements of modern communications that you loathe as much as I hate the telephone?
114 Responses to “Hating on the telephone”
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Can you wait a bit and get an iPhone?
Heh, they’re going exclusive with Cingular and I have Tmobile. Marc might get an iPhone, though.
one of the primary social activants in anthropoid ape culture is the constant status-confirming nature of their communities.
cell-fones answer this need in the fragmented culture of the modern age: the frightened, or threatened, or exultant little ape can, with the cell-fone, come back into immediate contact with the members of her or his status-affirming group from anywhere on the planet.
this to me explains their rampant ubiquity (intentional redundant repetition; just sayin))
I have the with the iPhone. Only Verizon works on the DC subway system. If I can’t use it while commuting, there’s probably no point in having an iPhone. Yet, I still want one.
Amanda is an anti-telephone bigot.
I too am not overly fond of talking on the phone. I have call display and I seldom pick up when the phone rings, unless it’s my mom or my girlfriend. When I do talk on the phone, it’s usually my cordless and I tend to pace around my apartment the whole time.
If I’m watching a movie or reading a book I get extremely annoyed when the phone rings. They are obviously an extremely handy tool, but I don’t like to use them for socializing.
I hate the phone, pretty much. I rarely answer it until I know who it is (via caller ID or my answering machine). I don’t like making calls, either, except to a select few. BF won’t agree to getting rid of the landline. I’m even thinking of getting rid of my cell, but I have a narsty commute via public transit (subway/subway/walk
/ferry/shuttle) and so many things could wrong.
I haven’t found any affordable mobile plans that allow emails, so for now, I’m stuck.
The old phones were much more ergonomic. You can’t find any receiver now that cradles your shoulder. Cell phones are convenient but very difficult to maneuver. It amazes me how low the bar is for design/usability of today’s technology.
Used to live in a house with no dishwasher, and so phonage meant I’d go over and do some or all of them (might as well get something useful done if I’m stuck on the phone, I thought). It became a running joke with one of my friends, who would always hear the clatter of pots and dishes whenever he called.
I have embarrassed myself in various office jobs, where I’ve been brought in to fix the email system or corporate website, but being unable to send a fax. I despise those mutant bastard photocopiers. Also: camcorders. Because no matter how much you think you’re Wim Wenders, you’re actually Wayne’s World.
But I do like mobile phones for SMS, and hate that so few Americans use it. It’s the sweet spot between voice calls and the Pavlovian buzz of the CrackBerry.
If you decide to use a wireless headset, please be aware that in order to hear adequately the volume must be turned up to a level than can, over time, contribute to hearing loss. Folks have notified the “big three” manufacturers, but the complaints were ignored. Apparently comsumers have had to resort to litigation as the makers turned a “deaf ear” to the problem.
The devise is useful. Just keep the volume down.
Oh, aren’t we glad for caller ID?
I threw in the towel and bought a Blackberry a few weeks ago myself. Being able to IM and stuff on the go instead of having to talk on the phone is so worth it.
TMobile has some ridiculously good deals on data+voice plans for Blackberry, too, so you’re in a great position
I’ve got a Blackberry 8700- with TMobile. Love it. It answers my quest for everything in one device, with the not-inconsiderable exception of mp3 and video, both of which is answered by the iPod. But I love the ‘berry. If anything, it has too much customization for my day-to-day, but I find that when traveling, I use all the bells and whistles. I like the 8700 because of the great speaker phone. The sound quality of the phone and alarms is great- I use it as an alarm clock as well.
I love reading and sendig email and surfing the web when I’m in line at the Taco Cabana, or the grocery store or waiting at the airport. The TMobile Blackberry plans are reasonable, imho.
And you’ll need a bluetooth earset- especially for driving.
Like you, I never really got the whole “chat-a-thon” thing in high school- I always figured I could say what I needed to say when I saw friends at school. To this day I do not enjoy talking on the phone, but have no choice since I live in a different state from my family and I rarely see friends with a new baby. I, too, have to multi-task on the phone because I get bored otherwise.
That said, I absolutely loathe my blackberry, which is my only phone (no landline). It is awkward to hold during conversations (so I have an ear-piece for hands-free talking, great with a squirmy baby or when trying to multi-task), it is a pain in the ass to dial (it uses a scroll wheel on the side), and all of the numbers are on the left hand side of the keypad but don’t correspond to the letters assigned to numbers on a regular phone so if a phone number is in letters (1-800-abc-defg) it hurts my brain to have to convert it. I’ve had it dial phone numbers while in my purse because the scroll wheel got pressed and rolled. I personally have no use for all the “special features”, like the calendar and appointment functions, the web functions, and I do not text (as an educator I think it is creating a bunch of people who cannot actually communicate clearly in writing).
In your new job a blackberry might be useful, but you have to have the ear-piece or it will just annoy you.
I think the talking on the phone thing as a teenager has something to do with as a kid you associate the phone as a grown up thing, you see your parents talking on it, so it becomes a marker of having come of age. So I don’t think any teenagers (though it is more of a preteen thing isn’t it?) really love talking on the phone, they do it because that is what you are supposed to do as a teenager. That, and that your friends become super important to you and you want to be in contact with them at all times.
I have long phone calls with my sister, and I usually cook while we talk. I can also do minor cleaning while on the phone, like putting things away. I used to multitask taking baths with talking on the phone until I dropped my phone in the bath and destroyed it. My sister calls me when she is walking from point A to point B and wants something to fill that time.
Technology I hate - man, I fought the cell phone for a long time, though I have finally caved. But I have sworn I will never be someone who talks on the phone while using a public restroom, and try to avoid using my cell phone in public whenever possible (no conversational calls, just try to limit it to the “were we supposed to meet at 6:00?” kind of calls). Hate PDAs. This hatred set in after my first one broke, and I didn’t have the info backed up in other places. I don’t really trust technology not to malfunction now, so if there is a luddite non technological version of the item that works roughly as well, I go with that instead.
And I second hating camcorders. I hate the way the feel of an event changes when people know they are being filmed. And I hate the way the filmer becomes removed from the scene. There was quite a kerfuffle when I banned them from my wedding as my father-in-law is a big camcorder user. So what was his wedding present to us? You guessed it, a shiny new camcorder.
I too will wait on the iPhone until it does not require a 2 year shotgun wedding with Cingular/AT+T.
I was with Cingular up til a year + 2 months ago. HATED them. With a passion. Been with T-Mobile, they only made me sign a one year contract - which I appreciated - and have had mostly a positive experience with them ever since. Since I travel to Europe, I also appreciate that T-Mobile uses GSM so I can just swap SIM cards in my (unlocked) phone and use the same phone over there.
As for the multi-tasking-while-on-the-phone dilemma, I use a hands-free. Not bluetooth, but it works just fine. I can’t say I loathe the phone but I do loathe overly long conversations except with a very, very few people (I can easily count them on one hand and have enough fingers to flip Bush the bird). I refuse to listen to long (more than 5 seconds) voice mails and I frequently refuse to leave voice mail for others unless it’s urgent.
Don’t ask me how or why I developed these habits and attitudes. It is indeed curious…
I miss not being able to talk to friends on the phone, that’s because I’m older, married, have two kids and no friends, or friends who are just as busy as I am. We had to break the habit of talking on the phone when our children interrupted us and when telemarketers made the very ringing of the phone anathema. In addition, something I don’t think people have discussed, is the american insistence on multi-tasking. At this point in my life I can’t talk on the phone for an extended period without *also* trying to do laundry or the dishes or make dinner or edit something or read something. Just.Can’t.Do.It. Sometimes the solution is to wear a headset phone and talk at the same time, that seems to make it tolerable.
but I miss the phone a thon days when anything and everything could be discussed.
aimai
I’ve been using Palms for years. I’m on my third one. I purposely downsized with this last one, getting the low-end model with the least functionality. It works for the few things I need it for.
I don’ t know much about blackberries, other than my impression of the people who use them, which is yuppie-asshole. Palms I think give the impression of nerd-cool. I’m sure there are functions that blackberry has that palm doesn’t and vice versa, but I’m sure there are a lot of functions in common.
Since I hate cell phones even more than land lines, I’m the wrong person to ask…
Get a Treo 680 (unlocked). Pop you Sim in and it should work fine.
As much as I covet the iPhone (gosh, practially anything with an “i” before it), I know that if I got it, I would never use it. My brother gave me some sort of fancy cell phone for X-mas, the Krazer or whatever, and I only know how to use a tenth of the features.
I was a satisfied phone Luddite until work bought me a Treo 680. Huge mistake. I am connected to Google, AIM, Gmail, and my rss feeds 24/7. My Treo isn’t set up to chime when anything updates, but if it was, I’d salivate like one of Pavlov’s dogs. I spend more time with it than my partner (though she’s always online, so that reduces friction). It’s a pathetic state to be in–beware!
Oh yeah, it’s a phone, too. Sometimes I use it to talk to people.
For me, it’s more of a thing of being so used to asynchronous comms, that phone conversations lasting longer than very few minutes make me twitchy.
I miss th old phone. One with a cord. One where you have to give in to it. So you just sit in a comfy chair not really looking at anything, just checking out. Kick the ADD to the curb people, this is a different kind of conversation that talking wiht no thinking or listening or while trying to do five other things. I hate it when the phone rings but I do love to just lie down on the couch and chat every now and then. Well, I also like to nap and read a book every now and then, too. So get of my lawn, kids!
Q: Ever had a phone conversation with someone who decides to take care of a “bathroom chore” mid-conversation?
A: Sadly, yes.
After a series of unfortunate dealings with Verizon, I have ended my use of landlines altogether. Also, a cell phone is like a leash, and even though I enjoyed having one during Sprint’s two week free trial period for its convenience, I forced myself to turn it back in for fear of being accessible on other peoples timeframe rather than on my own. So now I only use Skype, which travels around with me with my laptop and gives me phone access whenever I’m within range of a free wireless network, which is most of the time. Also, it’s less than 60 bucks a year for a phone number and unlimited domestic calls (if only I was a paid stealth endorser…).
Like you described, I too am wary of the phone ringing now, but when I was in high school I always wanted to be on the phone talking to friends. I think the difference is that as a young teenagers, people tend to be more isolated in their homes and have less control over their social lives. So when I was 16, the phone was a means to do things I wanted to do, like talk to my peers or schedule various types of social interaction. Now, it’s more likely to be an entreaty from work for me to do some additional task, or a telemarketer or something else unpleasant. Hence the shift from anticipation to avoidance when the phone rings.
I hate phones, both cell and land line. If I did not have children and elderly parents who may need to get in touch with me via phone, I would not have a land-line at all. I tried having a cell phone for a short period, so that my son could reach me easily in an emergency. I quickly came to loathe it. While I had a cell phone, my mother expressed extreme annoyance if she could not reach me instantly at any time of the day or night.
Yesterday I spent several hours very angry after a phone call. The details aren’t important. I was lied to, pressured and manipulated into committing to something I did not have the time or energy to do. After cooling off I contacted another party involved, found that the situation was not at all as it had been portrayed and was able to decline without guilt. Email has the advantage of letting you weigh your options and think something over before responding.
I also think that cell phones are part of another problem. No one seems to make a plan and stick to it. Plans are subject to continual change, continual flux. Sometimes things happen that are out of ones control and plans must change, but those true emergencies are relatively rare.
I don’t own a cell phone. Had one for awhile, never used it. I see where they have their uses, but for the most part, if someone wants me I’m either there or they can wait until I get home or to my office. I don’t understand the whole calling all the time for no reason thing. I do like the convenience of email better, and it’s easier to be eloquent on email, but it’s also easier to be misinterpreted due to the lack of tonal cues. I like talking to my friends because I love the sounds of their voices, but I like email, too. I guess I’m a waffler.
And ferd, please, no. Please? I don’t even type when I’m on the phone because I don’t want the other person hearing what I’m doing and assuming I’m not paying attention. Please tell me someone hasn’t tried to get away with this. That’s a step worse that using the bathroom “lobby” for a conversation, which is enough to get you into the fourth level of hell in my book.
Phones, computers, blacberries duh!
Nothing beats talking to real people. I’m off to the pub.
ahem said:
Pavlovian buzz of the CrackBerry.
it always cracks me up when you are in a room with people and a cell phone starts to ring. i imagine it’s a similar response to a pack of hyenas and the cry of a wounded zebra. in full disclosure, however, i have definitely, albeit occasionally, experienced audio hallucinations that my phone is ringing. if i hear sound that is remotely like my cell phone ring, it triggers a reaction. silly animals.
Hah! My dad has a separate one IN THE BATHROOM. I just never ever ever ask.
If you’re in Chapel Hill, as annoying as Cingular is (and now that they’re AT&T they’re plenty annoying), they have the best coverage in the area by far. They are the only carrier w/ towers on campus and used to be (may still be) the only one w/ towers in town. Sprint and Verizon have towers all around the city which makes Carrboro one giant dead spot.
As for the actual phone…my wife just got a Blackjack from Samsung and loves it. The internet is about as fast as our wireless lan at home. My Nokia E62 is smarter in terms of productivity (better e-mail and calendar support, plus doc editing out of the box). Blackberry is only a huge step up if your company runs a dedicated blackberry e-mail server, otherwise, it will be as good as other phones. When we were looking, I chose not blackberry because they didn’t do doc editing out of the box and because they didn’t have any phones that used the new fastest networks (3g for Cingular, EVDO for Sprint).
If price weren’t an issue, I would have gone with the Cingular 8525 if only because it also can use wi-fi hotspots for connectivity.
Yes. Read the third paragraph here.
Chris, that is what is great about the internet
“yeah. road noise” - So he flushed… bwahhahah
I might have fonder feelings for the phone if I had a guarantee that the person on the other end was always someone I wanted to talk to, but even my cell phone number (which I only give out to friends and coworkers) gets more telemarketers, wrong numbers, and strange recordings in other languages. I’m on the “do not call” list thing, which I believe translates to “call, because a real live person answers this phone number.”
A good wired headset solves the problem of not being able to water and re-pot plants. Kinda funny–that’s actually what I do when I’m on the phone.
Rainie, I absolutely agree with you about the tendency of people with cell phones to change plans constantly leading up to anything. Not having a cellphone has led me to being left in the lurch repeatedly. No one seems to have the organizational skill anymore to make a plan and stick to it. I learned this while waiting outside the Boston Aquarium for an hour and a half in 10 degree weather because my cellphone bearing comrades decided to get a later start and didn’t start circulating the calls until I was already on the T.
I have a T mobile MDa, upgraded from Blackberry.
Email, messenger, phone, texts, microsoft office, WMP…
The only thing I hate about my cell phone is that out of the sixty calls I’ve gotten since I got my new one last week, 56 of them were from the hospital. Two were my wife, one was my boss, and one was a wrong number. I’m pretty sure I used to have friends and such.
I just started using my cell phone for hospital calls so I wouldn’t have to carry around a pager. When they page you, you’re supposed to have 20 minutes to call back, but if they call the cell phone and I don’t call them back immediately (because I’m in the shower or something), they don’t leave a message; they just call back five or six times and eventually call my home number. I wish I could get them to text me–that would be ideal.
Develop a one-way phone habit, like I have. Caller ID is a fabulous invention. Everybody you don’t want to talk to, which in my case is almost everybody, leaves a message. Mostly I return their “calls” by email. If actual phone contact is necessary it happens on my terms when it isn’t interrupting something else.
I decided some while back that it was MY phone and folks are no more entitled to my time than they would be in any other setting. Hence ….
Telephone is so last millennium…….
Yup, like Amanda, Atrios and Ed, I hate the telephone. That is why I don’t have the cell phone. That is why my landline phone has an answering machine. If you call and the machine picks up and I actually……
Neither my wife nor I has a cell phone, and we’re quite happy with that arrangement, thank you. We continue to believe, in our Luddite way, that if we’re neither at home nor at work, we’re quite happy being un-reachable and that if someone wants to leave a message (which they can do quite easily) we’ll be happy to get back to them IN OUR OWN SWEET TIME. Perhaps twice a year we find ourselves ackowledging that a cell phone at that moment would be a useful tool to have, but we also always conclude that the rest of the time lived in sweet silence and away from the hectoring demands of others is more than worth it.
We also find the intrusion of other people’s “private” conversations into public space to be the height of rudeness. Especially when, as Garrison Keillor has observed, 95% of cell phone “conversations” can be summed up thusly: “Now I’m here. Soon I’ll be there.”
I hate the phone.
Unfortunately, email doesn’t always convey tone. God knows, I’ve gotten into a few rows over misunderstandings in email.
But still, I despise the little ringing bastard.
I prefer to use my megaphone. The whole neighborhood (all the way up to Edwards HQ) knows what I have to say.
Blackberries are not cool. Every bit of information they send and receive passes through one centralised system of machines, most probably still located at their HQ in Waterloo, ON, so if they go down (as happened before), everyone’s CrackBerry goes out. You’d be better off getting something that actually connects to the local internet, or uses a distributed system, if possible, because outages are less likely, and the techs at RIM won’t be reading your e-mail.
I actually like the phone. If it weren’t for the phone, I’d never actually hear half of my friends. Damned if I’m going to actually sit at my desk (as opposed to in bed, say) while I talk to the few of them who use Skype, and one of them can’t use Skype. I’m also not paying Skype money to make computer-to-phone calls when I have a great long-distance plan from Bell Canada and a call-home service that lets me call every country overseas that I would be interested in calling, 30 minutes for 99 cents. Can’t beat that with a stick.
I don’t have a
n electronic leashcell phone, either. For the amount of use I’d ever get out of it, it wouldn’t be cost-effective, and I haven’t yet found a cell phone on which I could actually adequately hear the other person, and/or weren’t plagued by drop-outs, glitches, and pops on the “line.”I think how much you like the phone may be directly proportional to how far away from your friends you live, and/or had lived when you were a kid. I know I spent a long time talking to friends on the phone when I still lived at home, but I went to a rural school, and most of my friends lived 20-40 minutes’ drive away. It wasn’t as if I could just run down the block or get on my bike and go; if we wanted to even see each other at all, we were utterly dependent on our parents to drive us. Otherwise, there was the phone.
Even now, I have friends all over the place — Canada, the US, England, Israel… Jabber is nice, Skype is great if you can use it and you don’t mind its eccentricities, and I would die if I lost e-mail access, but sometimes I just want to use the phone.
If you can’t wait for the iPhone, go with a unit that includes wifi capability. You’ll appreciate the faster Web and email access whenever you’re in a wifi zone.
There are still one or two people with whom I don’t mind yapping on the phone for an extended interval once or twice a month. But it’s a lot easier now that I have one of those Blackberry phones with a headset. I was resistant to (and repulsed by) the thing when my borg forced it on me, but now I enjoy it.
As for hating the phone in general, for me I think it has to do more with wanting my private time to be my own. The phone is an intrusion at home.
Everyone has their preferred way of communicating. Some do it visually. Others do it verbally. Others prefer writing.
Amanda prefers writing, as I do, and there’s no shame in that. None at all.
But I do think that, in the course of this campaign, either she or Melissa is going to have to do a lot of on-air, verbal communication. Or get yourself a Vlogger.
Preferably someone who is on the campaign plane, someone who is with the candidate, who can give a feel for what’s happening and interact with the audience.
That’s one way to go a step beyond Dean.
Although I think we’re going to be going many, many steps past Dean over the next few months.
Just remember the Clue — intimacy. And scaling the intimacy. http://www.danablankenhorn.com/2007/02/where_obama_is_.html
excerpt: The genius of the Dean campaign was not its Web effort, but the way the people within his campaign drew people into their world via the blog, the day-to-day grind of following the candidate, of communicating with him, of trying to build something. The posts on his blog became an interactive online novel.
For me cellphones just compound the problem started by answering machines. People never let you be. I used to like being able to unconnect my land line and people would just figure I wasn’t home, but you’re considered an alien (or possibly lying dead on the kitchen floor) if you don’t wither pick up or have the machine slave do it.
Sometimes I just don’t want to hear the phone ring or have some message (usually not crucial) left for me to deal with.
I can’t deny the benefits, but the idea that we’ve got to be reachable 24/7 is just wrong.
On my love of the in-person thing—I realize, reading this thread, that part of it may be that I grew up in a small town where it was so easy to see your friends and you had such freedom of movement that the phone seemed silly and tedious. All of my friends lived in walking distance, biking if I was feeling lazy. Now that I live in a town with a lot of traffic, it’s hard to work up the enthusiasm to see people in person. But I still can’t shake the sense that if I want to talk to a friend, I should meet her at the pub or coffeehouse or something.
Treo’s are cool. The main alternative to Blackberries.
Another reason to hate cell phones:
——-
Technology Enables Dating Abuse, Experts Say
By Michaela Jackson
(AXcess News) Washington - Technology popular among teenagers such as cell phones, e-mail and Internet messaging puts them at a high risk for dating abuse and violence, according to a study released Thursday.
One in three teens reported being text messaged 10, 20 or 30 times an hour by a partner to find out where they are, who they are with and what they are doing. One in four teens reported being text messaged by a boyfriend or girlfriend at least hourly between 10 p.m. and 5 a.m., said the study, conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited at the request of Liz Claiborne Inc.
——
A whole new generation of technologically enabled control freaks. Great.
I’ve always hated talking on the phone, mainly because I get distracted way too easily, but I spent almost 15 years working in newspapers and magazines, mostly small-town weeklies and college town alties. Therefore, I spent the vast bulk of my time talking to people on the phone. After quitting the business, my phone usage has almost totally disappeared. Most of my friends know that unless it’s an emergency, email me, as for the most part, I’m a bit of a hermit.
They also know that if they call, they’re gonna talk to the answering machine. Apparently, it’s something of a social faux pas to own up to this habit, but I give a damn. I used to have caller ID, but I don’t really need it. I figure if it’s not important enough to leave a message, it ain’t important enough for me to worry about. Actually, the only person I call on a regular basis is my mother, because if I don’t she’ll start calling daily. Then two or three times a day. Then hourly. And then when I do talk to her, she’ll spend 15 minutes talking about 47 different topics in no particular order and barely concerned if I don’t answer. Talking with my mother is like listening to zen buddhist chants, everything is nothing.
Finally got a cell phone but I rarely use it because I rarely go out anymore. Still, I figure I’m about due for a breakdown in the middle of nowhere. Got me a laptop and an iPod recently, too, and they’re both really, really neat. Since I’m in the process of storing the bulk of my music digitally, I’m actually thinking about unloading some CD’s next time I move. Astounding.
Honestly? No. (I had no idea you hated it as much as I do, by the way.) I always tell people that if I’d designed the damn thing it would only dial out to 911, and nothing else.
I cope by putting mine near the computer and playing some mindless card game, something I can do on autopilot, while I’m talking.
And what Interrobang said about cell phones–although there, I admit I’m a hypocrite, because I love that other people have them. I just don’t want to be tied to one myself. The land line irks me enough as it is.
I believe you ay need a Bluetooth ear bud, and a cellphone-
You might look like Star Trek Uhura, but it would free your hands, and allow you to utlilize the unused brainspace-
:♥)
I picked up a serious phone-phobia as a teenager. Whenever I was on the phone I was constantly being told that what I was saying wasn’t correct. That I should say it “this way� or that I should say it “that way�. Basically, it created a hatred of talking on the phone and insecurity in my abilities to converse with others. Email was a god sent.
With a cellphone I’ve found that if you are not instantly available at all times people get outraged. It’s ridiculous. A common conversation:
“Were where you?�
“I was in the bathroom. Excuse me for having to pee!�
“Well, I’m sorry, but what if it was an emergency?� (Person replies in a huff.)
That’s how a lot of conversations seem to go with friends and family. If you do not pick-up the damn phone the moment it rings you are in deep trouble. I even get that vibe from some people I work with.
I do love my Treo though. It comes in handy when you’re waiting for the guys at Jiffy Lube to change your oil. Lots of time to surf the web and check email!
Glad to hear that I’m not the only one who loathes the phone and ignores it when it rings. After seeing so many people talking on the phone while driving, walking around talking on them (usually giving everyone in hearing distance too much information) and using them in the bathroom (ew!), I was beginning to feel like an anti-social loner for not loving them.
The thing is, I love to talk to people, I just prefer to do it face to face. I use the phone occasionally to set up get togethers and talk to my family since I live in another state, but I find email preferable for most things. However, I think I may have done too good of a job expressing my distaste for the phone since about the only time my rings anymore is if a telemarketer is calling. When I do talk on the phone, I usually play solitaire on the computer, or surf the internet. I also agree with whoever said above that phones aren’t very ergonomic. They hurt my hand and my ear if I have to use them for more than a couple of minutes. I had a headset, but lost it awhile ago.
I also prefer email for work communications too. I find having printed correspondence in the file indicating the last action taken on a given project more useful than trying to remember phone conversations.
Dana’s right, and that fits with Zack Exley’s comments on how Obama should use the web. A campaign is a long road trip. Write a road novel.
(I got myself a ‘one-way voicemail’ thing: it’s a regular phone number which is just voicemail, accessible through a web interface, complete with caller ID. It’s like a dead-letter-box for the phone.)
Bloggers are in the business of asymmetrical communication, as it grows into so many variations.
Not a phone fan either — I especially despise my landline, but circumstances dictate that I need it one way or another. With my cellphone that makes for parallel lines. (I too can make Blondie references.)
Also I have questions for IMS: how obscure does a musical reference have to be before the referencer can point it out and retain coolness? Conversely, how unhip can an unpointed out reference be and still earn cool points for the referencer?
Anyone ever noticed that when someone answers a cellphone in a public space, it’s always to tell the caller where they are.
“Hello? Hey… ya… I’m on the 34, be there in 5 minutes. Ok… be right there.”
Seems like a tool for insecure spouses.
I hate answering the phone, so a cellphone is pretty much out of the question. My answering machine is almost always on.
The only person I enjoy talking on the phone with is my younger brother. We are both in our late 50’s, the middle children in a 4 child family. We talk about politics; history; our kids; whats in the news; the mystery of our parents (that those 2 had 4 kids when they had so little patience or interest); our 85 year old mother who has dementia; the problems people we know are having with elderly parents; the cost of nursing homes; the housing market; our 2 siblings (the older one went to an Ivy league college and never worked a steady job; the younger one hasn’t been heard from in 15 years).
We agree pretty much so its just talk and since we live several hundred miles apart, we have no intention of getting together face to face any time soon.
Flux, never explain your allusions. Anyone who doesn’t get them is lame in the IMS world. Unless of course someone says, “I don’t get it.” At which point you explain the reference in a weary tone.
I like to see people when I talk with them, to know how they are really feeling and what they are thinking. So much of communication is non-visual. So yes, I dislike the phone.
But I dislike other people’s phone calls even more, especially in public places, when you can hear all their intimate details at full volume. Dreadful. Most especially when they have the stupid headsets and walk around looking like they are talking to themselves. Extra points for interrupting my nice meal in a restaurant with the damn things.
Phones are for long-distance, or totally necessary calls.
My favorite:
“The train’s gonna go into a tunnel in a minute, I’ll get cut off. Yeah. OK then. Yeah, let’s.. I’ll call you when I get to the station. … [train enters tunnel] Hello? hello? hello?… Are you still there? Hello?”
We just canceled our cell after about seven years. We basically only used it for three things: I’d call home while camping (I’m out in the desert a lot); she’d call me if she was going to be a lot later than anticipated because I visualize car wrecks far more than I ought; I’d call her if the store was out of thing one and I wasn’t sure if thing two would suffice for her needs.
That’s not enough reason to pay Working Assets’ ridiculous “cheat the guilty progressives” rates.
So now I just walk to Austin whenever I need to chat with Amanda.
I’m glad to know I’m not the only one in the country without a cell phone - people sure like to tell me I am.
Interesting how the more in contact people are, the less they seem to know, though. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had a phone ring just before or after class (I ban them during, because people were still answering in the middle of lecture), and you can tell the conversation is “What are you doing?” “I’m in class!!” I mean, if you know the person well enough to call, shouldn’t you know their class schedule?
I need a cell (a Nextel®) for business. Then, I wanted my wife to have one, since she commutes 32 miles each way to the hospital. Then my older daughter got her driver’s license, so I wanted her to have a cell, in case she had a problem. Then my younger daughter wanted one, ‘cause she was feeling left out (and she’ll be driving age in six months anyway.)
OK, fine, everybody has a cell phone. So, now I want to get rid of the land line, because:
1- I absolutely hate it when it rings; and
2- It’s an unnecessary expense.
Unfortunately, I have been unable to convince my darling bride that we should do so.
Amanda:
Get a bluetooth earpiece and a phone that lets you do some hands free answering, maybe even dialing. That does a little to solve three problems:
1resenting the phone as a physical distraction and a pre-empter of whatever task you had been engaged in
2not getting killed or ticketed just because it behoves you to talk and drive simultaneously [though as a cylist, I am aware of studies that say the conversation per se is distration enough for some people and not just handling telecom paraphenalia…] when driving in the Boston area, dont flash a phone in Brookline and don’t, please, run over me…i would be your friend if you don’t kill me with your car.
3 if, god forbid, you mismanage your new gig and wind up having to do a LOT of time on the phone, any kind of handset will give you cramps and repetitive stress injuries to make feel 99 years old in a few weeks.
FWIW, I hate phones too, don’t even call my own family much. yet have recently managed to call several hundred perfect strangers to tell them to vote for the Demcrat, helped, I believe by the aid of an earpiece/mic changing my phone experience. it wont cost you much.
A few months back Reconstruction[http://reconstruction.eserver.org/064/contents.shtml] asked a bunch of bloggers what blogging did for/to them. I’d have to be stoopider than one of AP’s news writers to presume to tell YOU anything about blogging but just so’s you will leave yourself open to the possiblity that things might get better rather than worse, I’ll note my experience is that little changes of media can have behavior modifying consequences THAT WE EMBRACE…
Three or 4 years ago, if I was in the mens room and the guy in the stall next to me was having a lively and loud chat when only we two were in the restroom, I’d reflexivly check that they were on phone rather than on another plane of reality. Nowadays we are used to people talking “to themselves”. In airports, I seem to see mostly men thus equipped and you, being you, could probably take that issue totally to pieces…its just my observation and not really based on much airtravel [they unchain me from my desk about twice a year] Any number of factors from “dork factor” and “I dont look good with only one earring” to hairdos that hide the earpiece…I dunno and I certainly don’t know what gets said in the ladies room at airport…maybe the smidgen of extra privacy brings out the electronic road warrior.
And finally, since I am one of the oldest guys who comments here, l’ll just observe that, yes, the older you get, the more you know and reflexively cherish the value of what you could do with one completely uninterrupted hour…you will hate the phone more with each year unless you really learn to use it and not let it use you. Establish phone hours…that is a perk many executive types demand. The damn little devils do have an off switch.
I fail. Conveniently, failure is always the best way to learn.
The best version of “Hanging on the Telephone” was on an EP by “The Nerves,” released in 1976. The three members of the band were Jack Lee (who wrote “Hanging …”) Peter Case (later the leader of the Plimsouls) and Paul Collins (later with The Beat). If you can find it, I think you’ll like it.
And I never use any kind of telephone. They cause brain tumors.
Oh, god, my unwillingness to talk on the phone has actually negatively impacted my productivity at work.
Now, when I was growing up, we lived far away from everyone. But we also had a cheapskate father who wouldn’t pay for a decent long distance service, so our phone calls were closely monitored and calls “just to talk” were strongly discouraged. As a result, I have an understanding that phones are to be used for important purposes only, and that when the phone rings, it is important and you damn well better pick it up. I hate people who don’t pick up their phones. It drives me fucking nuts. I wouldn’t have called if it weren’t important! And please, don’t call me if it isn’t important, b/c it also drives me nuts when someone calls for no particular reason and I can’t figure out a good way to get rid of them even though I have absolutely nothing to say to them.
I was pleasantly surprised by how little people call my cell, even though they know I have one. My mom tried to pull the guilt trip, “You should have it it on ALL THE TIME,” schtick, so for the first year or so I had it, I would deliberately turn it off for large swaths of time. It’s like training people to understand that you are simply not available 24/7. Now that I DO keep it on all the time (family now lives far away and I’d like to be reachable in an emergency), people tend to only call if something is actually important. I appreciate this, and keep up my end of the deal by actually answering every call I receive.
I loathe the telephone and even tho I have a cell generally won’t use it unless a)it’s one of those “could we please make a fucking plan as to where we’re going to go out?” type of situations or b)I’m walking to or from my house to the university. That’s when it’s time to call Mom and look at clouds while she goes on about how we should be sure to insulate the house or whatever neuron is firing in Mom’s mind that day.
I find that having a cell phone but *never answering it* can be a really great way of insulating yourself from people. They think they can make you talk, but then you don’t pick up, and it fries their circuitry. Mrs. F has a system: she knows I’m not going to pick up the first time she calls, so she calls back. She knows I’m not going to pick up then, either, so the second call means “Call me when you feel like it,” and the third call means “This is actually kinda important.” It works great.
Here is a useful bit of wisdom regarding the phone:
You own the phone. It does not own you.
You have no obligation to go running for the phone when it rings. If it’s an urgent call or business call you are expecting, that’s one thing. Otherwise… ask yourself if you really need to answer the phone right at that moment.
You also have no obligation to answer the phone, even if it is sitting next to you.
It took a while to break myself of my instinct to go grab the phone anytime it rang. Once I realized how pavlovian was my conditioning, I was disgusted with it. Who owns who? I own the phone dammit! I don’t have to go running every time it rings!
Once you develop the habit of only answering the phone when YOU CHOOSE TO, it is interesting to hear some people’s reactions; many people think it’s terribly rude of you not to answer the phone every time it rings! (I consider that their problem, not mine. Never returning calls is indeed rude; choosing the time and place you talk on the phone is a matter of personal autonomy and even manners in certain instances.)
Basically, I only answer the phone when I have pre-arranged for someone to call me. Otherwise it just goes on the answering machine, which I often forget to consult. I have a mobile, but only about a half-a-dozen people have the number, which I tell them not to give to anyone.
Why do people in cafés, restaurants, lobbies, even the street, feel that they have to talk LOUD to be heard? I don’t know if their correspondent is hard of hearing, but everyone around can hear them very clearly.
I would like to get a hold of one of those things they have invented in Japan with which you can block signals within a radius of a few dozen feet. Concert halls can get ones that block their whole room.
UGH hate the phone.
http://r2000.blogspot.com
Sticking to stricly why the phone has become annoying is it’s a time waster. 90% of the time I can communcate what needs be communicated in email. Phones require small talk, pleasantries and diruption of either your or their time. Email lets both partieis communicate as much or as little as they each like an at the time that is convenient to them. For those that find it easier to communicate via voic einstead of email I say your idea/comment isn’t succinct enought to be spoken in the first place.
Phones are bad.
First, Amanda I am just delighted that you are still posting this much!
Second, and I confess I haven’t yet read all of this so forgive me if being redundant, just chiming in to say that not only have I hated the phone since turning, I don’t know, maybe 28 or so, and started screening calls about that time, I’ve also thought a lot about it and considered writing about it. It’s like I can’t stand that people are interrupting my day, even if I’m doing nothing. Even when I was single and up for far more activities (I was also a lot younger!) I hated answering the phone. I think it could have been it was pre-Caller ID (or I just hadn’t paid for it yet) and it seemed like every time I picked up it was my mom making me feel guilty about something!
I have found though that in the last few weeks, as I am preparing to move away from most of my friends and family, I’ve answered the phone every single time. I guess I’m afraid I will miss my last chance to talk to someone before the move. One of those “Don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone” situations.
PS Amanda, since my husband moved ahead of me and I’ve been talking to him on the phone every day, I’ve been using speaker a lot more. It makes it a lot easier to chat when I’m making dinner or something, and it’s more like he’s in the room and we’re chatting. Not perfect, but better than dropping the phone in the sink. I also had a headset phone for awhile but it didn’t work very well (the HEADSET kept falling off my giant head) so I gave it up.
Well, there you go then. Stick it jalopeeenya…I am a 69 year old grandmother who was also raised to believe phones were for emergencies only. I rarely called my parents once I left home, and even today only call my two children when timeliness is all. I am so grateful for email-it has given me a way to connect with my children and grandchildren. My husband doesn’t email (we have separate sets of children) and picks up the phone whenever it rings, and calls all of his family frequently. I let the machine answer it, if it is important they’ll leave a message. What I hate is when he answers the phone and gives it to me because the person on the other end asks for me by my first name–he thinks they must know me. Usually not. We both have cell phones, but mainly for emergencies. Neither of them are on very often. I don’t think we’ll get Blackberries or iPhones–I’m still trying to figure out the iPod my son gave me for Christmas. I am happy to learn that I am not the only person with phonophobia.
I am a 69 year old grandmother who was also raised to believe phones were for emergencies only. I rarely called my parents once I left home, and even today only call my two children when timeliness is all. I am so grateful for email-it has given me a way to connect with my children and grandchildren. My husband doesn’t email (we have separate sets of children) and picks up the phone whenever it rings, and calls all of his family frequently. I let the machine answer it, if it is important they’ll leave a message. What I hate is when he answers the phone and gives it to me because the person on the other end asks for me by my first name–he thinks they must know me. Usually not. We both have cell phones, but mainly for emergencies. Neither of them are on very often. I don’t think we’ll get Blackberries or iPhones–I’m still trying to figure out the iPod my son gave me for Christmas. I am happy to learn that I am not the only person with phonophobia.
Amanda fears the phone. Someone might her to make account for what she’s written.
That’s not paranoia, that’s commonsense.
I see your hatred of the phone and double it.
I have some kind of processing issue with sounds. I have ok hearing, I just sometimes have trouble turning the sounds into words in my head. Sometimes I have to pause and turn the sounds into type in my brain to get them to make sense. I also sometimes, when really bad, have to pause to remember how to make the sounds that make words.
Although this doesn’t happen on a daily basis, when it does, a phone conversation is mental agony.
Plus, I had several years of being the press-0-to-talk-to-live-person default as a clerk at an insurance company. People who were being ignored by their claims rep came to us, the powerless peons, to yell. Joy.
Personally, I despise the phone. Any phone, of any sort. If there’s any item of technology more popular and more annoyingly invasive, I’ve yet to find it.
And that’s incoherent.
——————
I hate phones too. Unfortunately I have to use it pretty much constantly at work. I’m much better on email, where you can control the when and where and length of the interaction. On the phone it’s always someone trying to form an immediate rapport or shoot the breeze with me before getting to the point and I just can’t communicate like that.
I love the Blackberry though. Trust me, coming from someone who hates both change and the phone, it is awesome. It’s great for checking or answering work email remotely.
I hate the telephone with a fiery passion. Every job I’ve ever had has required massive amounts of time on the telephone. By the time I get home, I’m tired of talking on the phone!
I had the cheapest cell phone plan with Cingular that I could get, and I recently had almost 5,000 rollover minutes. Most of my calls are regarding traffic - to work to tell them I’m running late and to my boyfriend to tell him about a wreck or what-have-you so I will be much later getting home than I thought.
I have a deep-seated loathing of the phone. Every time it rings, I panic, and when I’m on it, I get distracted after about a minute and start looking for something else to do. I hate disembodied voices.
I only have a land line. I can figure out all sorts of complicated things on the computer but for the life of me I can’t turn a cell phone on and off.
At least Amanda able write with coherent.
I really don’t understand the problem. What’s wrong with knowing where people are or being able to tell them you’re going to be late if they’ve already left to meet you? It does make it too easy for people to be lax about plans, which is irritating, I’ll grant. And complaining that people expect you to answer the phone when you don’t want to because they can’t control you, dammit sounds unnecessarily belligerent. Don’t answer the phone if you don’t want to, but making it an issue of personal freedom is weird.
I don’t always like cell phones, but I don’t know how I ever lived without one.
I used to spend hours on the phone with people I was going to see the next day. In my first year of college, I ran up a $600 phone bill in about six months. Now, though, I have caller ID so I can see if I really want to talk to someone before picking up; we don’t have an answering machine. I have a cell phone, but it’s only because I leave work at 9 and drive along a dark stretch of road.
I think the change is because I find it easier to communicate in writing, and I’d much rather send an email in any given situation than call. Also, after working in jobs where I had to answer the phone, I’ve gotten to a point where I really hate the sound of a phone ringing.
Sigh - I pretty much hate phones. Unfortunately all of my friends and family are several states away, so I end up spending lots and lots of time on the dratted thing. What’s worse is that the few people I do find soothing to talk to tend to be aware that I don’t like the phone, and thereby call less and talk less, while the people I don’t find particularly fun phone company tend to call frequently and go on and on and on…
Side note: Those of my friends who read Pandagon - you are NOT the problem.
I do like mobile phones for SMS, and hate that so few Americans use it.
Has to do with the pricing structures in different places. In Europe, texting is popular because it’s cheaper to shoot texts back and forth that it is to talk for five minutes. In America, it’s the other way around.
I think a large part of my own antipathy toward phones actually has to do with the sound of the ringer on a land-line phone. Though they no longer have mechanical bells, they still have to be loud enough that you can hear them from two rooms away, and it’s this startling loud noise. In addition, the unpleasantness of the ringing makes it very hard to just leave it and let the answering machine/voice mail field the call; if you happen to be near the phone it’s like ignoring a fire alarm.
Recently, after years of aversion to carrying a phone around everywhere I go, I’ve realized that a major advantage of cell phones is that, if you carry them on your person, there is no need to be able to hear the ringer from far away and you can set the ringtone to be relatively unobtrusive. It doesn’t change the fact that a phone call is still Another Damn Thing To Deal With, but at least it’s not as obnoxious about it.
(Disclosure: I make cell phone software for a living.)
If you need to get a phone, get one on Amazon. When you sign up with a service plan, you can get even a very nice Blackberry for cheap to free. Mine should be in the mail any day now.
Any accoutrements of modern communications that you loathe as much as I hate the telephone?
Voicemail. Voicemail must die.
On the other hand, I think smartphones with unlimited text messaging and wireless headsets (even a wired one, failing that) are great. Right now I am previewing the Motorola Q, and am going to compare it to the Treo 700p.
I still shudder when answering the fucker, though.
Oh, I just now remembered! Great youtube video:
how to phone phony
all about cell phone “etiquette”,
From the same people who brought you
learn to speak body
I’m not a big fan of phones and I don’t own a cell phone.
However my 1st son does. When he was 15, I arranged to take him out of school early so we could attend a huge Kerry stump-speech rally. I was amazed at how many of his friends we ran into there while we were waiting in the at-least-8-big-blocks line. Then I was amazed about how they all dispersed (maybe to see if other friends were around) and then I was amazed with maybe 5 15-second calls over a 3 hour period while I was waiting in shifting lines a different bunch were able to reconverge to and get premium seats.
I asked and it turned out that most of his conversations were with girls (they like him). However they were brief and effective.
That is contrasted with most of the many cell-phone conversations I loudly overheard while waiting - most of them were females (long discussions to reconnect after a day or two of disconnect) rather than anybody conveying needed information.
At least the young boys know how to talk to young girls.
“I fought the cell phone for a long time, though I have finally caved. But I have sworn I will never be someone who talks on the phone while using a public restroom, and try to avoid using my cell phone in public whenever possible… ” (J.B.)
I’m the same way. Just got a cell phone a year and a half ago. And, now, it feels like I can’t imagine life without one. Argh. I like technology — though it’s harder and harder for me to keep up with ‘advances’ as the years go by — but I am troubled by the cell phone, for many of the reasons you and others bring up (e.g., it becomes coercive, invasive, contributes to impoliteness and continual work [we’re always expected to be available]). Not to say that things were different in the ‘good-ole'’ days of analog, landline phones, but it seems like the conversations I overhear (not intentionally, at least most of the time!) are just so banal.
Also, I think that portable communication media and devices also is part of the tyranny of neoliberalism (making individuals responsible for meeting their basic needs, defunding public services, and so on).
the phone is so last century
I’m actually scared of phones, or rather, scared of speaking on them. I’ve been able to get over that somewhat, so that I can answer the phone at work or make an emergency call if I have to, but there were several years where it was bordering on a phobia. I would actually break down and cry if someone tried to make me call someone, and it takes a hell of a lot to make me cry. I still go out of my way to avoid making phone calls or answering the phone.
Fortunately, my boss thinks this is funny.
…Yeah. The internet’s a godsend.
Phillytales from 12 hours ago must be old like me. The old phones were easy to cradle, but, today there’s an answer - speaker phone. I have speaker on my landline and cell.
But, overall, I agree that talking on the phone has always been a drag. There are only a small number of people I enjoy talking with for long periods by telephone.
Even though I am a technophile and an electronics technician/repairperson, I find I am also phone-phobic. My usage is basically to manage appointments/meeting times, with the one exception of my children, who live hundreds of miles away (one even in a different country). If I want to talk to anyone for any length of time I want to see them in person. My land-line phone has caller ID (with name) and an on/off switch for the ringer and I can assure you I use them both. The caller ID stores the last 60 or so calls. If I have been out and want to check when or if someone has called it is a simple matter to scroll through the list and decide whether or not to call back.
As for a cell phone, I would NEVER have one (with the possible exception of an emergency one in the glovebox of a vehicle which I don’t presently own). I simply do not want to be THAT available to everyone. I also object to the tracking ability these phones provide (not only to the authorities but anyone who has possession of it for even just a couple of minutes can set up a constant trace). Whats even worse is that the newer types can also operate as a wireless bug (WITHOUT ever ringing), in that they can record everything said within range of the microphone and transmit either in real-time or stored and transmitted later as a burst transmission in a fraction of a second. While the last scenario is hopefully very rare (business espionage?) the possibility of having someone you are talking to let a third party listen in surreptitiously is also very bothersome. As for the problem of secret photos, don’t even get me started. It has gotten to the point where I may even have to make visitors leave their cellphones at the door with their coats.
In regard to the above problem of phone bugging, I meant to add that this is possible EVEN IF the phone has been turned off, unless the battery is physically unplugged.
Of course, I think this is a very important cultural difference between the US and South Africa.
Here everybody has a cell phone. Everybody. Beggars on street corners everybody. For the equivalent of $45 you can get a cellphone and airtime.
If I decide not to purchase additional air-time my incoming calls will expire 3 years. I need not spend an additional cent to remain connected.
And you if I decide to get another number I can have it within 25 minutes. If I decide to get a landline it takes two months, you have to pay a deposit of $100 (which you get back once you cancel the service) and you pay a line rental fee of $42 a month (No calls included)
In short, if cellphone services in the US weren’t so stuffed up, more people would see the use for it.
I’m suprised you’re not saying something like, “Of course I hate the phone! Those @#$!* Catholics use it!”
I hate phones. HATE them! If you want to communicate with me, get out your quill and parchment and write a letter. That’s why god made carrier pigeons.
As opposed to William Donohue, who hates the phone because “bigots” like Barbara Walters (BARBARA WALTERS?!?) and the Christian-hating anal-sex-loving Jews that control Hollywood use it.
I prefer email as a form of communication. I can read a lot faster than you can talk, and email cuts out all the annoying “Um… Uh… like, you know” stuff that people use when they’re tyring to think and talk at the same time (and doing both badly.)
I QUESTION THE TIMING!!! Phones? Must be planted by BushCo to consolidate their evil control over the free-world.
The phone and Internet have one failing in common: the person/people with whom you are speaking are not there to be “read.” It is far easier to lie using these mediums than in person. Which is why telemarketers are hard to trust, bloggers even harder.
Cellphones were invented for people who don’t know when to shut up. The reason I, too, hate the phone, whether land line or cell, is because the majority of people I know have no clue how to have a conversation. If they’re not dominating the conversation, they are just waiting - rather than listening - for their chance to run their mouth again.
I hate phones, but I’ve had a cell phone for forever (no land line anymore, what’s the point?). Everyone knows that I’m liable to not answer it, so if it’s important they leave a message. I don’t listen to the messages, since I also hate voicemail, but if they leave a message, I call them back. It works because the people calling know the drill.
I just hate my current phone. It has an awesome camera, but really that’s about it. I miss some features, like being able to set a reminder for a certain date and time, or being able to put certain people (ex-boyfriend for ex.) in a “do not ring” group and having the damn phone not ring when they call. I must have a new phone. I want one that will let me read Pandagon whenever I please, but I don’t currently pay for my cell plan, so that probably won’t happen.
Move to the UK and get yourself a Windows Mobile device…
Another phone and voice mail hater here. I was a reporter for two years, in an LDR for the two after that, and I have a VERY NEEDY LONELY widowed mother who adores the phone and wants to talk constantly. I am burned out on the phone. I do not want to ever check my voicemail because she leaves me me like 12 messages and won’t stop. If anyone other than her calls, I probably won’t check the messages for at least two weeks because every time I turn on the phone and get told there’s a voice mail, I sure as fuck don’t want to check it. (It doesn’t help either that the phone will only tell me I have voice mail WHEN I AM IN A CALL. Seriously.) I didn’t have voice mail at work for 4 years and was very disappointed when someone finally noticed and insisted I get voice mail. It took 45 minutes to install and was totally stupid (do I really HAVE to have a TOTALLY SEPARATE message for when someone calls and I’m already on the line vs. when someone calls and I’m in the toilet? According to people at my work, this is VITAL.) I get 2 calls a month, incidentally.
I have a land line in the event of my DSL going down, but I don’t plug it in. I don’t want the answering machine Mom forced upon me so that I can take calls on my land line. My work is in an area where cells don’t get good reception, so at least I have an “excuse” to be unreachable except by e-mail during the day, and then I proceed to spend virtually every night at the gym or somewhere else where one would be expected to turn their phones off.
The only time I “like” talking on the phone is when I’m walking home, because at least I know I’m not missing out on something more exciting I could be doing than being stuck on the phone. I hate being interrupted and then being forced to listen to Mom talk about her day, which was obviously boring, and being asked about mine, about which I have nothing to say. Especially when talking about her boring day takes an hour and features many long pauses during which I think her brain short-circuited. I hate the “Pay attention to MEEEEEEE NOWWWWWWWWW”-ness of the phone.
I get bitched out for not sounding friendly and happy to talk on the phone- well, I’m NOT and I DON’T want to hear from you, and I am especially not happy to hear from you when I’ve got one night a week to watch live television as it airs and you call me. (I could not answer it, but see what I said about having an enormous pile of voice mails I already don’t want to listen to, and I’m sick of being nagged to return your call when I don’t have the time to do it.)
Anyway, UGH. Text I can do on my own time, dammit, it’s not 2 hours of being stuck listening to someone yammering.
It was Stephen Fry who really made me realise what I hate about the telephone - he said it something like this: