It’s hard for women who don’t want another child to get the surgery to ensure that they won’t have more kids and even harder for them to convince men to have vascetomies. Generally, women who have not carried ar pregnancy to cerm can’t get a tubal ligation, so women like me who never want kids are out of options. (Sadly, doctors won’t perform a t.l. in case we change our minds, but will perform abortions.) We’ll abort American babies, but people will go to China and South America to get newborns because they are so hard to get in America.

IMO, that is the very nature of anti-abortion, pro-woman agendas - to bring some sanity into women’s reproductive lives. There is room for pro-woman improvement that goes far beyond abortion on demand.

I’d rush off to the clinic in a heartbeat if one of my pregnancy tests showed up positive (and make those anti-choice fuckers pay for it, I *heart* U, MN!).

I’ll also raise my hand for the “you’ll change your mind” bit. I can’t even remember how many people have commented, upon hearing that I don’t want them, that I’m so GREAT with kids, and that I can find a baby to play with in any crowd, and how could *I* of all people not want a million little babies to play with everyday, and I should just wait and see, and not completely write the idea off. OMG does it drive me crazy.

It really bugs me when pro-choicers feel they have to concede that abortions are SO TERRIBLE. One of my least favorite abortion quotes is that it should be “safe, legal, and RARE”. I want abortions to be rare insomuch as I want heart surgery to be rare. I want them to be (mostly) unnecessary, because people who don’t want to be pregnant don’t get pregnant, not because there’s anything inherently wrong with abortions, which is always the impression I get from people who say that. It really rubs me the wrong way, and I can’t imagine how I’d feel if I had actually had an abortion, but I’m thinking it wouldn’t be pretty.

Here here.

As you had every right to be. Some of these places are literal battle zones filled with whackjobs who care not one iota for the consequences of a woman being forced to continue a preganancy again her will. I guess what I was trying to express was that the choice — either way — is life-alteringly important. And intensely personal. Having had the experience of needing an abortion myself, I understand this completely.

First of all, the notion that a fetus is a “life� is subject to opinion. Second of all, the notion that all aborted fetuses are “perfectly healthy� is totally false.

The fact that a fetus is a life — and yes, an embryo, and even a four-celled zygote are technically lives — shouldn’t mean that it trumps a woman’s life. It’s a living thing like any other, except that the end product is a human. Not saying that you’re using this argument, but comparing a growing fetus to, say, having a diseased cyst needing removal is a disingenuous and kinda creepy analogy. A cyst never has the potential to a be a baby, so there’s a critical difference. And, yes, sperm are also key ingredients in the life equation, but have no more right to a woman’s body than does a cyst. The point being, the notion of the fetus actually being a life is not the real debate. It can still be a life while ensuring that a woman’s right to choose remains intact.

Obviously, not all aborted fetuses are “perfectly healthy.â€? I was expressing my distaste (personal) in the notion that one would be celebrating — even figuratively — the actual act of abortion itself. Having made the decision (really, there wasn’t any other sane choice) to abort a fetus with a severe chromosomal defect incompatible with life, it just affects me deeply. But I’m insanely proud of my decision, and immensely grateful that I actually had the choice to make.

Ignoring the “life” bit,* allow me to share my abortion story with you:

I got pregnant at 19, thanks to a broken rubber. When I walked out of that clinic after my abortion, it was one of the most relieved, happy and proud - yes, proud - moments of my life. Was I happy, relieved or proud that I had gotten pregnant in the first place? Of course not. Was I happy, relieved and proud that I had managed to make a truly horrible situation have a reasonably positive ending? Fuck yes I was.

I will always be proud that I chose not to bring an unwanted child, which I was not prepared to raise, into the world. I’ve had plenty of anti-choice people tell me that I’m a sick bitch for feeling that way, and I really don’t care; however, I grow weary of hearing obstensibly pro-choice people tell me that my experience with abortion should be one that I look back at with shame or discomfort.

*First of all, the notion that a fetus is a “life” is subject to opinion. Second of all, the notion that all aborted fetuses are “perfectly healthy” is totally false.

I respond to “accidents happen� with either “that’s what abortions are for� or “deliberately spending several months knowing you’re pregnant and not getting an abortion is not an accident� or “getting pregnant can be an accident; staying pregnant? only if you live in El Salvador� depending on the perceived intelligence of the person who says it. Cases of not realizing you’re pregnant or being unable to obtain an abortion aside, nobody’s that slow on the uptake.

I’ve actually used the ‘that’s what abortions are for’ line with a few overly aggressive family members. They always get really quiet, look at me like I grew an extra head all of a sudden, and say, ‘oh, you’d never do something like that.’ Like they haven’t known my contrary ass for the last 30 years and don’t know that I don’t have a sentimental bone in my body and that I sure as hell would if I got pregnant again. I’m the relative that they don’t want to talk politics with over the family table. I don’t usually start the argument/discussion, but if someone else does, I don’t back away from it either.

I would, however, agree with her that having to abort a life is something that no woman should want to “experience.�

Regardless of the “life” question, I just don’t want women to have to undergo surgery that could be prevented in many cases by a pill, piece of latex, etc. And that’s where “F”Fl shows their true colors, refusing to do anything to prevent pregnancies in the first place.

Yes, I was talking from my own experience as a Belgian. In other cultures, the pressure to have children is bigger (as is the case for Italian people I know, for instance). Same goes for people who are very religious (which is more frequent in the US than over here).

What is funny is that we both have relatives who have said that we were smart not to have children.

Same here. Thankfully, my mother and grandmother don’t bug me with that sort of thing. All the other people around me understood a long time ago that that sort of patronizing and irritating crap was NOT welcome.

*Or two days, if one goes the medical route.

Ack. While I’m no *sneeze*hillaryclinton*sneeze*, I do have to say that the going through the experience isn’t necessarily always a cause for popping the champagne. Again, qualifying myself as a staunch pro-choicer, it is nonetheless a cringeworthy thought to end an otherwise perfectly healthy life for the sheer joy of ending that life. I don’t know that “high fiving!” the occasion is an emotionally smart decision, either. That being said, being pro-choice means exactly that — and each woman has the right to make her own decisions. Hillary Clinton erred with her unfortunate word choice of “tragedy.” I would, however, agree with her that having to abort a life is something that no woman should want to “experience.”