This is the Orgasmatron 3000 by Dominic Wilcox. Ann at Feministing has posted on it. My question: who has a leather-bound washing machine?
As for its ostensible double purpose, I can’t help but note that a man clearly designed this. Not because it insinuates that the gender that uses washing machines is solely the kind that orgasms from straddling vibrating things. It’s obviously a cheeky comment on that stereotype, anyway. No, it’s because it looks so damn uncomfortable. Anyone who tried to use it would either blow out a knee or have deep indentions inside her thighs.
The question is, since it’s about inducing women to do more laundry, do you think we might make it legal in Texas?
28 Responses to “The Snuggle bear gets some competition”
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Just advertise it as a at-home mechanical bull.
Wow. They didn’t even round off the top edges of the machine. Those are gonna dig in and leave nasty marks.
Provided you’re willing to sign a disclaimer saying that the saddlehorn is there for demonstration purposes only, sure, why not?
Hey! How come it isn’t pink???
Kidding.
Good heavens! That would definitely hurt a lady. If you want some serious hardware for jilling off, look into the Sybian. That thing makes me consider SRS.
Completely off-topic, I need an insufferable music snob to help me mock the Associated Press’ music critic for not realizing that Gnarls Barkley’s new single, “Gone Daddy Gone” is a REMAKE!
Oh. Sob. This brings back such fond memories. My first ever electric orgasm. See, we were living about 64 north (that’s latitude) and I had the little portable Hoover washing machine hooked up to the sink, the generator running it, my dear husband off tracking meese, and I leaning against it dreamily, when, suddenly the spin cycle…
Why am I suddenly getting an image of Slim Pickens riding the missile to the ground in Dr. Strangelove?
What would the equivalent be for a guy? Maybe a lawnmower that…that…
Oh, forget it. Let’s not go there.
What would be equivalent for a guy? I’m thinking a vaccum with a safe, crotch-level attachment.
There was this Woody Allen movie called “Sleepers” from the early 70’s, I think.
It was comedy sci-fi. He was cryogenically frozen after botched surgery and brought back to life hundreds of years in the future.
I haven’t seen it in many years. I seem to recall he awoke to this totalitarian society where men and women no longer had physical sex.
They entered these booths called “Orgasmatrons”. When people entered these booths they looked completely normal and well groomed. When they exited they were a disheveled, goofy, grinning and satisfied looking mess.
I also seem to remember these things they rubbed that resembled beach balls or something. It made them higher than a kite.
Amanda,
What would be equivalent for a guy? I’m thinking a vaccum with a safe, crotch-level attachment.
There is none. All you need is your hand and a good fantasy.
That’s all a female needs, too, Graham. The fun is in the inventing.
Taking a full suspension bike through a 6.5 mile Somerville/Boston commute at an average speed of about 12 mph is probably a similar experience.
YeeeeeeHAAAAAAAWWWW!
I must say, I am terrribly disappointed. At first glance, I thought it was a gigantic subwoofer. THAT would have been a quality product.
Is the whole thing leather-bound, or just the saddle? Because if it’s the former, I have some shopping to do.
meh. You don’t need the saddle..it just gets in the way! Should we send this to the Sarcastic Sex Toy Blog?
http://sextoyblog.blogspot.com/
seems right up her al–…oh never mind.
what’s SRS?
i agree with bo-bo! and here’s another thing i want to know:
why is no one as outraged about arnold schwarzenegger mass-murdering people in the ‘terminator’ as they are about the pennsylvania school shootings?
and the amish school shooter wasn’t nearly as bad — at least he didn’t humiliate his victims by saying witty lines like ‘ i’ll be baahck ‘ and the like while killing them.
what a buch of hyporcites people are!
they’re throwing the amish school shooter in jail, yet they elected schwarzenegger governor of california.
what hypocrisy!
Well, he killed Robert Patrick, so what he’s done is forgivable.
One of my friends at Caltech used to point at his penis or otherwise refer to it in conversation as a putdown–”My penis, sir!”
So another one took to saying “Leave my penis out of this! Like a McCormick reaper…leave my penis out of this!”
Thanks for reminding me, Bitter Scribe.
I interpret it as Art as Snark. And Cynical Observation about a lot of guys (”what they want is a maid they can fuck.”).
Maybe also a homage to all the porn about bored housewives?
Heck, if the artist can get whatever he’s charging for it, more power to him.
That is the funniest thing I’ve seen in this blog.
I think a vacuum cleaner would hurt. Never tried it, but it seems like a bad idea.
Harnessing the power of the spin cycle…
While, to me, it looks as though Wilcox is providing some visual snark, it does raise the question as to why it seems to be aimed purely at females. The underlying theme appears to be that women, while doing the laundry, can get some enjoyment out of…..
Roula,
SRS = Sex Reassignment Surgery. Obviously, I’m fantasizing about a perfect star-trek style medical technology that can give me quick, painless, fully functioning ladybits… but hey, I was already pretty firmly in the realm of fantasy in pretending I’d ever have money for elective surgery.
Oh well. I guess I’ll never know what the Sybian is like… which is just as well, since I’ve built it up so much that I’d probably be deeply disappointed.
Years ago i was playing a drinking game with a bunch of friends. We’d sit in a circle and one person would say a catagory and the person to his right would name something in that catagory and then the person on her right… until someone couldn’t name something, and that person would have to take a shot. Well once the catagory was sex toys and people start naming the typical items when a friend of mine named “washing machine”. There was some controversy over her selection but the group judged in her favor. That’s the first time i ever heard of the masturbation potential of the washing machine.
Obviously, I’m fantasizing about a perfect star-trek style medical technology that can give me quick, painless, fully functioning ladybits…
Star Trek? Just hang around the nearest morgue until - oh, right, ladybits attached to you. Never mind.