There I was cruising the internet, trying to forget about the baby jesus this holiday season, when I stumbled upon a conclave of persecuted christians using guerrilla tactics to fight back against the secular elitists hell-bent on destroying Christmas, by sending Christmas cards to the ACLU.
We are excited to be launching the opportunity today…between now and Christmas we are asking you to send the ACLU direct “MerryChristmas” cards.
And we aren’t talking about these generic “happy holiday” (meaning nothing) type of cards…
Go get as “Christmas” a Christmas card as you can find… something that says.. “Joy To The World”, “For Unto Us A Child Is Born”, but at least “Merry Christmas”, put some of your own thoughts into it, sign it respectfully and zip it off in the mail to…
And an impressive list of wearied persecutees have found that unquenchable human spirit and stood up for their cherished little holiday. Fuckers. As Teh lame says in the comments here, I’m sure that the Athiest and Communist Lovers are totally demoralized to discover that a bunch of private citizens on their private time and on their own dime are sending Christmas cards to celebrate their private religious convictions. Dammit. It’s as if removing state endorsements of that wretched holiday weren’t enough to end Christmas all together. Time to figure out plan B.
hat tip Gregor Samsa
33 Responses to “Merry Christmas ACLU”
Leave a comment
Line and paragraph breaks automatic, e-mail address never displayed, HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>
Add this to the new Republican dictionary:
“Merry Christmas” = “Fuck you.”
This is so silly. Those “persecuted Christians” assume the ACLU would be offended by Christmas cards. I’m sure the ACLU will just laugh. The Count is an atheist. I’m more spiritual than he is, but I don’t believe in a Christian god. Hey, I burn Santeria candles. I’ll take any help I can get.
I get Christmas cards, and I’m not offended by them at all.
This is a nice season, regardless of your religious persuasion. Some people just want to ruin the fun.
I’d love to see what the Fundies would send people at Halloween. Har.
Man, that is one hell of a damaging protest.
Hey, do you think if I loudly advocated for Communism these people would protest by sending me money?
I am coming rapidly to the conclusion that much of the conservative protest movement is actually an extremely elaborate guerilla marketing campaign. I mean could the greeting card manufacturers have asked for such an idiotic protest? Or maybe it was the Postal Service. Next the Hallmark shill will explain that it would really burn the ACLU up if they sent them multiple cards.
Peace on Earth and Goodwill to…well fuck you all damn commie angels.
I think this is win-win! The Persecuted Minority (yeah, right) gets their warm fuzzy on, thinking they’re going to BLOW THE ACLU’S MIND!, while the rest of us get the comfort of knowing they’re wasting time, energy, and most importantly, money on this little enterprise. I say, the more the better.
In fact, I’m calling upon all True Christians ™ to send ME Christmas cards. I’m in the ACLU, and I’m an atheist. Please enclose $10 with each card, just to make sure I *really* get pissed off by the Christmas message!
Being a card-carrying member of the ACLU maybe they could send some to me. Hope they don’t write in them though so I can use them over. PIH-TEE-FUL.
In fact, I’m calling upon all True Christians ™ to send ME Christmas cards. I’m in the ACLU, and I’m an atheist. Please enclose $10 with each card, just to make sure I *really* get pissed off by the Christmas message!
For all the budget minded True Christians ®, I can be put in my place with a card and only $5.
I was browsing through the political cartoon section of MSNBC’s site: http://www.cagle.com and saw a plethora of “Why are the Jews stealing Christmas?” cartoons.
The most distressing was by a cartoonist named Huffaker. In his cartoon an short, hairy, hooknosed man (a.k.a. Jew) with an ACLU badge was surpressing Christmas.
This kind of anti-semitism is very frightening. Really, as a Jew I’ve never met any other Jew who begrudged Christians the celebration of Christmas.
The most distressing was by a cartoonist named Huffaker. In his cartoon an short, hairy, hooknosed man (a.k.a. Jew) with an ACLU badge was surpressing Christmas.
That’s what happens when you leave the “jew” out of “judeochristmas” I suppose.
I think we should all send them Christmas cards too–wishing them well and thanking them for fighting the good fight.
Hmmm.
Thought just struck me. What could we send the wingnut/fundie crowd to freak them out. Any suggestions.
How ’bout a card with a gay sants in a pink santa suit. ‘Kay, I started it.
Used condom.
Well, I’m not Christian, so I can’t do this, but here’s my idea. Get the most Christian-y Christmas card you can find. You know: baby in the manger, greeting that explicitly mentions the birth of Our Savior. Send it to them with a message that says “Merry Christmas from [your name], proud representative of the religious left and card-carrying member of the ACLU.”
That’s so nice! I hope the ACLU sends them a ‘Season’s Greetings’ card in return!
Dear Card Sender,
Thank you for your thoughtful gift in celebration of the birth of the Jesus. May we suggest you spend some time before the next election reading the parts of the Bible that instruct us to be compassionate, gentle, concerned for the weak, the downtrodden, the oppressed, and the poor. Also the parts about giving away all your money to the needy, and not judging others lest you be judged.
XOXOX
the ACLU
Why don’t these poor persecuted Christians get a life? I’m sure plenty of ACLU members are Christians, btw (although I fit the fundies’ stereotype, being both an atheist and an ACLU member).
http://www.aclu.org/freespeech/gen/10925prs20020108.html
http://search.crownpeak.com/cpt_redirect/4659?account=436ac9516921&qid=1653
http://www.aclu.org/studentsrights/expression/12828prs20030221.html?ht=christmas%20christmas
Umm….guys?
This is a great example of the basic truth that the actual worldview of the christian right is very different from the rest of us:
We are excited to be launching the opportunity today…between now and Christmas we are asking you to send the ACLU…
Dang it, I usually send Christmas cards to my favorite organizations, just to thank them for what they do. Now my card to the ACLU is going to get lost in this stupid protest. Maybe I can write “Not a crackpot” over my return address label so they’ll read it.
Used condom.
Or a condom. Even better, send them the placebo pill from a dial-a-pill pack. (Don’t send a real pill for obvious reasons, but they’ll never know the difference.)
Hey, maybe when they discover that sending Christmas cards didn’t stop the ACLUs down in ACLU-ville from singing their Civil Liberty Hymns at all, it will make their hearts grow three sizes less small.
I’m a bit broke right now.
How about I just send a Kringle?
Why don’t you send me a kringle instead?
Holy crap, that’s funny, Fox. I need to send one of those.
as a Jew I’ve never met any other Jew who begrudged Christians the celebration of Christmas.
I don’t mind as long as they keep it behind closed doors and don’t rub it in my face.
I’m waiting for the pictures to go up on aclu.org of all the cards pinned up on the cubicle walls
I had to wait to post about this until I stopped laughing; it took a good twelve hours.
Crosswalk gets this week’s Not Getting the Point award. Go ahead, Malkin et al., let that persecution complex shine, shine, shine…
I still don’t understand what they think the ACLU has to do with hating Christmas.
I just don’t get it. Did O’ Reilly start this whole thing? This morning the local news had a frickin’ 10 minute piece about saying Happy Holidays vs. Merry Xmas. How did this emerge as an issue at all?
On a somewaht related note, this post has gathered a lot of attention in the Catholic blogosphere: http://skellmeyer.blogspot.com/2005/11/how-christians-stole-christmas.html
It has some interesting food for thought.
I’m not sure I follow the gist of that link rwl. But I was reading the other day though that protestants had opposed the celebration of Christmas for some time, was banned in England during Cromwell even, because of something about it being too Catholic. But I don’t understand really what the dispute was over, and don’t know enough about various protestant denominations and their respective views on ritual to make any sense of the points being made.
I just found out that St. Nicholas is also the patron saint of pawnbrokers.
Why do I (an atheist/liberal/feminist) have to be so damn hell-bent on getting rid of this damn holiday. This time of year all I can think about is how to destroy Christmas.
Better go tell The Hubby to take down the Christmas tree I spent an hour on and put out in the alley…